Need help. A complex situation to get my dream girl.

[Bijoy]

It's been really a complex situation. cud seem like a long story. But need ur help. I had broken up with my ex-gf few months back, but in reality we were not in good shape for more than a year. We had huge differences among us. Meanwhile I had come across a girl at my workplace. At first we were friend, a really really good friend. I had felt happy with her always. She was with me always. & now I'm in love with her. But do remember, she was not at all the reason for my break-up with my ex.

On the other hand, this girl also had broke-up with her ex last year. Due to some family problems/reasons her family wants her to get married quickly. Meanwhile a proposal from her friend's family had came. He is a good friend since her childhood. She loves her mother and as she failed in her past love-life, she had agreed to this arranged marriage. And currently date is fixed for the early next year.

Now the problem is I was really confused with my previous reln, I was thinking whether I shud put more effort in the last reln and did late to convey this girl about my feeling. In reality I understand I badly need her, she is my dream girl and I have a never-before-feeling for her. She is also upset now. She is telling that the 2 families have gone so much ahead regarding that marriage that this new relnship would broke their heart. Her mother knows myself as her great friend, hence this could make her really really upset. She does not like to rethink about me in this situation. She would fall in a false position among the family and the near friend circle. She is also thinking that this could be like cheating the boy.

On the other hand I have understood, instead of her fear for future, neither she loves the boy, nor the boy her. It's a pure arranged one. Here, I just cant live without her. Not only she made me lively on those bad days. I would die without her. In my family, everybody wants to accept her heartily. but as per her situation they (as well as me) couldn't approach her family now. There is only 5 months left in between. What should I do? How could I remove her fear? How could I approach her mother and do not break her heart?

Thanks, need your help....

[Ginger2013]

I think that if she truly wanted to be with you, she would find a way to cancel the arranged marriage? But I'm not familiar with your culture. Do you think you want her more because you can't have her?

[pcmaster]

Well first of all you have to do is stop be afraid to hurt anyone. And just go for what you want, dont care about other pain. Be selfish because what do you want more - lose her without even trying or lose her with doing everything thats in your power and realise that it wasnt your fault it was her who was off. Dont do what other people expect from you but do what you want because if you are living someone else life then who will live your life? You have a chance with her cause how else would you feel so good about her if she didnt like you? Its not completly one sided feelings you know that. If you realy love her then you want have sex with her too. You deserve a little love man. Touch her and if its just a dream you will wake up.

Love is being excatly who you wana be in that moment. You know its a short lived feeling, it comes slow and goes fast. You can think for the rest of your life " What if I told her? What if I tried?" Or you can know for sure what would happen by simply doing, cause you have nothing to lose anyway. Even if she wont stay with you in the end atleast you would have a little love with her, something worth to remember. Its realy not about past or future or her family or your family. Its all about two people and present. Dont think too much, if you wana have fun then do something.

[Bijoy]

@Ginger2013,
Your point is logical. but in our culture this kind of decision making happens. Again, that point is also true, that she could have found a way. But I must say, she does not feel like me. May be even in this situation, when a few months are left, she is not trying so that no awkward situation occurs. If I think rationally, if I leave my emotion aside, I don't like to break one's relation just because I love her. But here, the fact is, they are not in a proper "love" relation. And someone is just winning my dream girl with bloody luck!!!

@Pcmaster,
You said right -- "...if you are living someone else life then who will live your life?" I definitely need to do something... Trying to gaining mental strength, power, because Her mother loves me. I love aunt, too. And as she said not disclose this before her mother, probably this is going to damage our current relation.

Thank you, thanks a lot...