Let me start out by thanking you for taking the time to answer my questions!
About 9 months ago, I met a wonderful man named Andrew. Andrew is sweet, tall, handsome, and very hardworking/dedicated. He is religious, conservative, and kind, all things I have always looked for in a man. The only problem is he is 15 years older than me! He also has two children from previous relationships. I am 23. Now, I know everyone in a relationship with similar circumstances will say something similar, but I am old for my age. I have traveled the world extensively, I run my own company, I have two labs who are well trained (by me) and well fed, I pay all my own bills, without the help of roommates, ect.... My point is, I am more advanced in life than most of my peers.
When Andrew and I first started dating, it was easy. Have you ever met someone who you are instantly comfortable being around? That's how it was with him. Laughter was easy and frequent, I felt comfortable and happy in his arms, the conversation was interesting and everything we said fit into each other's lives perfectly. However, he has two children and runs a company of his own. His free time is not as frequent as mine and it started to wear on me that I didn't get to see him as often as I would like. In past relationships, a new date and I usually see each other at least a couple times a week, Andrew and I were struggling for once every week and a half! In the end, we broke up after 3 months or so.
Like most women, in the time immediately following the break up, I occupied my free time with friends, family and "reasons why I am better off without him" thoughts. My reasons were many and varied, but all revolved around the same core concept. His age. He just turned 39, and I am fully aware that in general, he has a whole lifetime of experiences that I don't. He has already had most of his "firsts." I wouldn't be his first honeymoon, or give him his first child, or be there for his first major career success. We wouldn't get to enjoy all the experiences most newly wed couples do. We wouldn't be able to pack a bag and disappear to a remote cabin for the weekend at the last minute because of his children. We would have to have "first year of marriage" sex quietly and when his kids are asleep.
Recently, we reconnected and our relationship has picked upright where we left off 6 months ago. He told me, "I haven't seen anyone since we dated, I haven't slept with anyone, just you." Very sweet! But, I am as hesitant about our future as I was the first time we dated. I am a firm believer in "don't date anyone you wouldn't marry," especially when there is a physical relationship. You never known when BC may fail.
If this man is a perfect match, should we continue to date? Is 40 years of great love together worth him probably leaving me a widow or me missing out on life experiences he's already had? My friends and family have all warned me about the cons of dating a man who is so much older, so I am not looking for a lecture one why it's wrong. Just straight forward advice based off your own experiences.