Having an unfaithful and lier partner but I can't leave

[mailali]

Guys I need your advice please.....

I was in a more than a year relationship with my bf and he is a foreigner. At first, we are happy and have no problems about our relationship. Everything was smooth coz I gave him my full trust and I believed in his words. But after a few months of our relationship, I discovered something that really breaks my heart. I found out that he is having an affair with other girls. I argue with him and decided to move away. He begged and promised that he will never do that again coz at that time when it happens hew was out of mind. And because I loved him so much, I gave him another chance. Since then, I always gives doubt on him. Thinking that maybe he still cheating on me or flirting other girls. After that, sometimes we used to argue about this. I am always suspicious every time he spends more time with his mobile coz he always busy chatting with someone. Every time I tried to sneak on his phone, it feels like he always hide something from me. One time I opened his mobile and I found out that he has another Facebook account in different name. He used to chat with lots of girls. Every time we argue about this, he used to say that it's nothing. It's the girls who used to contact him and he denied that it was not him, that it was his friend who is using that account. I am not stupid to believe what he said. But I am crazy coz I am still in a relationship with him until now

But recently, there was a incident that his brother borrowed his place for his business(as what he said to me) (coz my bf was living in a condo and I am living with him). There were 2 Indonesian tourist girls who will gonna stay in his place. So he informed me that we need to leave his place coz there will be people who will gonna stay there for a day. He will gonna stay in his brothers house and I will go back to my place. Although I am angry about the situation, I have nothing to do about it. The day the the tourist arrived, he said he will be moving to his brothers house since it's kinda awkward being with the girls in his condo. So I thought on that day he moved out. The following day which is the day I'm expecting the tourists to leave, he informed me that the tourists will gonna stay there for one more day so we cannot go back home. Then it's fine to me.

The next day he send me message saying that the tourist already left and we can go back in the afternoon. Then he arrived first after me. When I entered the house, I discovered a lot of things. He cooked food in the house and found out that he used his laptop on the same day that the tourist was still there. But the funny thing is he keeps on denying that he didn't cooked something and he was really not in the house. Although I already know the truth, I just can't believe what is happening.

I don't know what I have to do now. I am living with a mysterious person. Full of lies and I think I don't know him anymore. The sad thing is my head says leave that person but my heart says no. Actually our love story is too long that I cannot tell from the beginning to end

Just give me advice what I have to do coz I think everyday it will keep on hovering in my head. Don't know what to do and hard to pretend that i am fine

[4 ratties]

A relationship will not be happy and healthy without any trust.

[basilandthyme]

Why can't you leave?

[lausieboo]

You clearly have no respect or self worth for yourself! He will always cheat and lie so if you don't want to use your head you will have to put up with that! He could also give you an std so how bad do things have to get before you wake up and leave?

[lister79]

It took me quite a while to finally leave my girlfriend...I was called a looser on here for ending it dead, but I know how you feel. That that person will one day come good for you, but the truth is, the damage is done. You will question everything, and even if hell froze over and he changed his spots, you won't believe him. Its not your fault this trust is gone, but you really have one option for a happy future and thats to leave, eventually you'll find someone else and be happy, or you can stay and live a life of paranoia and angst...good luck.

[Starnique]

He's a liar and a cheater and he has no respect for you because you don't respect yourself. This is going to become a pattern because you allowed it. Him cheating, you finding out, him lying about it and you taking him back. The trust has already been broken. He had the nerve to bring another bitch.in the house that you stay and probably in the bed that y'all share. His whole story sounded stupid from the get go. Have some dignity and leave.

[michelle23]

Hes a serial cheat. He was cheating those two days-he never left his house. Those "tourists" were probably prostitutes that he paid to have a threesome with in your bed.. your extremely naive to believe anything that comes out of his mouth. Serial cheaters are sex addicts and he will never stop cheating or lying to you. You cannot believe a word he says.

Stop being a doormat and get rid of him and then go and get counselling to fogure out why you put up with this. plus get tested for diseases. Hes dirty!

If i found out someone cheated on me, he wouldnt get close enough to even try to lie about it-never mind put his dirty hands near me again. Whats wrong with you?

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[Heart Healer]

Hi mailali,


I understand, its not wrong for a person to have his social life, his friends ( male and female, both ) even after getting into a committed relationship with someone. But everything comes within a certain limit. Having a social life, chatting over internet with friends or even hanging out once or twice a while, all is acceptable but not at the cost of damaging your own relationship. Perhaps, you are too lenient with him. This habit of "letting things go" might cause serious consequences later. What's the point in having another Facebook account filled with girls and chatting with them when he suggest it belongs to his friends? I don't see a valid point.

Its quiet genuine for you to feel sad and disgusted about the whole situation. You have given enough of chances to him. I guess, this is high time you should seriously think about putting things to end. To me, you seem to be a very emotional person. But dear, decisions of life are not always taken based on emotions. Think practically and act wisely !!

[DalM0m]

At this point this mess is of your own making. Get up & leave.