Did I send the wrong message?

[Ditapage]

I like this guy.. We're just friends and he is cautious about getting in relationships after his last one ended badly. He's a bit on the shy and/or apathetic side when it comes to girls. But he makes an effort to stop me with hello and talk to me.

I did a stupid thing and thought I could force him into making a move. I said I'm planning to move somewhere else because "it's not working out for me here" and he seemed disappointed but ended up saying "wherever you go there'll be problems" when I said "something here (which is him but I'm not going to say that) is making me feel sick." Then I said "I need to go where I can make progress" and he said "in what way?" And I said "I want to meet someone." He didn't have much to say to that... Just that "just because you aren't with anyone now doesn't mean you won't be in the future." And he said "nobody can make the decision to stay here or go, but you." And it wasnt exactly the reaction I hoped for.. I expected a guy who asks others about me, flirts, stares, chokes up but talks to me anyway, would encourage me not to leave. The guy is famous around here for not wanting to get married and tells other girls he doesn't want a girlfriend but when I asked him he said he does want to get married.

Did it backfire in that saying I want to move away and meet someone isn't telling him I like him, but that I'm uninterested in him? My friend said "why would he say he likes you after you said you want to move to meet someone, you're basically saying there's no one here." I can't think clearly because of this crush.

[smackie9]

Ummmmm what are you 12? If you are an adult why are you talking in code to the guy? It's so childish And why is it HIS responsibility to make a move? Just go up to him and ask him out, then proceed to let him know you are interested in dating him.....simple as that. If YOU want something bad enough, then you just have to take matters into your own hands....just be honest with him, because all successful relationships are due to good honest communication. Simple as that.

[michelle23]

Seriously? No offence but this is a little pathetic. If the guy is emotionally unavailable then stay away from him. Nothing you do or say is gonna make him miraculously get over his fear of being hurt. Thats something he needs to deal with alone so move on. Theres billions of men in the world. Theres no point hanging around for one while he gets his shit together. Meet someone else

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[Cerby]

Did it backfire in that saying I want to move away and meet someone isn't telling him I like him, but that I'm uninterested in him? My friend said "why would he say he likes you after you said you want to move to meet someone, you're basically saying there's no one here."

Your friend is right, if I girl I was chasing played this card on me I'd stop chasing pretty much right away. But, games are for 17 year old kids, and if you want something, you should make it clear. Vague games are silly and so is what you're trying to do.

[Go4it]

Yes, you sent the wrong message. How was he suppose to figure out that you like him when you say you're going away to hopefully meet someone. Why would he beg you to stay? You're not in a relationship together. You haven't even gone out on a date. If you want to try again, let him know you are interested in dating him and see where it goes from there. Stop trying to trick someone into acknowledging they like you.

[christianivan]

Yes you did