Developing feelings for friend

[Jojo Joe]

Well, I had this lady friend that I just got close to her since 3 months ago. We got really close in a short time, and we've been going out everyday, doing all kinds of different activities, but we're just being real good friends.

Until new year's eve. She got really sick, I got really worried and I was helping her out. The she laid back and rested her head on my leg. I played with her hair and kissed her on the forehead. It was a special moment to me, I felt close to her and later she thanked me for being cute to her and caring.

The other day she talked to a friend. Told her about what happened and said she's paranoid. She loves me as a friend, but she ain't over her ex and she doesn't want me to be a rebound, and she feels if something happens, it won't be before a long time.

Things continued normally but then yesterday for the first time in 2 months, she was meeting a common friend, and she didn't ask me to join. As simple as it sounds, I got a little paranoid thinking maybe that's cause of the new year's eve thingy. Today we were going out, but I was a little cold to her, not on purpose, but she thought I got upset yesterday that we didn't go out and now I'm giving her the shoulder. I chose honesty and told her the new year's thingy got me paranoid. And she was like "no of course, I got paranoid too but only that day but we're good, but you can't be mad at me cause I didn't hang out with you yesterday." So I explained to her and all was good.

Now definitely she has nothing for me, but I feel something is developing from my side and I don't know what to do.

[searock]

If you are 100% certain that she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, you should stop hanging out with her, you should go no contact and avoid yourself some heartache.

[Boisdevie]

Just accept that she's not into you. That's life - in the words of The Rolling Stones 'you don't always get what you want' which is very true. For Xmas I wanted a motorbike and didn't get one. For my birthday all I wanted was a threesome with my GF and her sister but no chance. See, we all have to accept the way things are. So stop being pathetic and go out and find a woman that will drop her pants for you.

[Jojo Joe]

I am sure she doesn't, she cares as a friend, but I feel I'm developing something for her.

[TheEvilJester]

That's life - in the words of The Rolling Stones 'you don't always get what you want'

But if you try sometimes.... You just might find.... You get what you need. ;-)

Seriously, though, back to Jojo...

It sounds like she may just consider you a friend. Then again, it could very well be exactly what she said (to her friend, I think you said). It could just be that she is not yet over the situation with her ex. That is entirely possible. How long ago did they break up?

I mean, it does sound like she probably more so thinks of you just as a friend, but it could literally be that she just doesn't want to start anything with anybody until she feels ready. If that is actually the case, then maybe you'd have a chance down the road, but she just didn't want to risk starting something with you before she was ready and possibly losing you altogether.

I think my advice would be to sort of consider her, in your own mind, as just a friend for now. If you can do that, that is. Go about things the way you normally would with her, and meanwhile keep your dating options open, and date other women if/when possible. In other words, don't wait around for her, but if you can see staying friends for the time being, then don't break contact with her completely. You never know. Maybe down the road she actually will get over her ex and maybe even be interested in dating you. You just don't want to get stuck waiting around just hoping that will happen, or you may be missing out on a lot of chances to meet someone great by waiting for somebody unavailable.

If you don't think you can be just friends, then right now your best bet would be to keep your distance. Because she has made it clear she is not ready for a relationship right now. So, if you think it would hurt too much to be around her without being with her, or it might be too difficult not to try to go for it anyway, then it is probably best to keep your distance. Either way, good luck.

[searock]

I am sure she doesn't, she cares as a friend, but I feel I'm developing something for her.

That's exactly why you should stop hanging out with her. Delete her from your life, that way you will be able to move on faster and with less heartache.

[Jojo Joe]

But if you try sometimes.... You just might find.... You get what you need. ;-)

Seriously, though, back to Jojo...

It sounds like she may just consider you a friend. Then again, it could very well be exactly what she said (to her friend, I think you said). It could just be that she is not yet over the situation with her ex. That is entirely possible. How long ago did they break up?

I mean, it does sound like she probably more so thinks of you just as a friend, but it could literally be that she just doesn't want to start anything with anybody until she feels ready. If that is actually the case, then maybe you'd have a chance down the road, but she just didn't want to risk starting something with you before she was ready and possibly losing you altogether.

I think my advice would be to sort of consider her, in your own mind, as just a friend for now. If you can do that, that is. Go about things the way you normally would with her, and meanwhile keep your dating options open, and date other women if/when possible. In other words, don't wait around for her, but if you can see staying friends for the time being, then don't break contact with her completely. You never know. Maybe down the road she actually will get over her ex and maybe even be interested in dating you. You just don't want to get stuck waiting around just hoping that will happen, or you may be missing out on a lot of chances to meet someone great by waiting for somebody unavailable.

If you don't think you can be just friends, then right now your best bet would be to keep your distance. Because she has made it clear she is not ready for a relationship right now. So, if you think it would hurt too much to be around her without being with her, or it might be too difficult not to try to go for it anyway, then it is probably best to keep your distance. Either way, good luck.

She told her friend she's not over her ex and she likes me a lot as a person and friend and she needs a rebound now and she doesn't want me to be that rebound or end up hurting me.

[Jojo Joe]

That's exactly why you should stop hanging out with her. Delete her from your life, that way you will be able to move on faster and with less heartache.

I considered that but I don't wanna lose her altogether.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I considered that but I don't wanna lose her altogether.

You're a bitch. You deserve all the anguish you're going to bring on yourself. Please come back and tell us when she ****s another dude.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, that was put rather bluntly, but it does bring up a good point that is important for you to think about. How are you going to feel if you do remain friends with her, and then once she finally does get over her ex, she winds up in a relationship with some other guy? Or even just a hook-up? If you don't think you could handle that, then you probably should keep your distance, because that would make it seem you can't see just being friends. If you truly feel like you would be okay with that (just because you may think you could somebody as more than friends doesn't mean you automatically can't also just be friends if more just isn't possible) then I suppose that is up to you.

But, again, I wouldn't recommend sticking around just hoping she will get over her ex and want to date you. For now, you should think of her as a friend and nothing more, and go about dating other women. Then, if fate should decide that she finds herself interested in you down the road, and you happen to still be single, then great.... But if not, at least you haven't been waiting around for her for nothing. If you don't think you can see just being friends, then as difficult as it may be, it would really be best just to just keep your distance.

[Jojo Joe]

Ever since that day when she went out and didn't ask me to join, she's been acting strange. She would text me if I have plans, I'd tell her none so far, let's go out, and she would reply like an hour later saying she already made other plans. Today we hung out with other friends, she didn't call to pick me up (she lives right in front of me, she's got a car, I don't, always picks me up) and she didn't say a word to me all day while we were out.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

She has probably been sucking your common friend's dick. Let us know, once you confirm.