why do i blame myself?

[markwhop]

I was with my ex for 6 months. I know it's not a long time but we had such good chemistry. I'm 25 she's 19. When we got together she was honest with me and said she had had a strong sexual past but was wanting to change.

even though we broke up we still are great friends and still remain in contact. though we both mad our mistakes i mostly blame myself for the break up.

heres some events that happened

1)she almost cheated on me 2 weeks into our relationship
2)she sent dirty pics to a guy
3)she ditched me one night to go hang out with a guy
4)she talked dirty to another guy
5)she started hanging out with this girl and my girlfriend started to make less time for me andmade me feel unimportant
6)if a guy hit on her she wouldnt tell the dude she had a boyfriend, she would just make up an excuse
7)she would never talk our problems out

ok heres my negatives i did

1)told her younger brother about her snorting pills twice
2)went through her phone(which is how i found out she was talking behind my back)
3)could have an attitude problem or pout (which was mostly due to her making me feel like i wasnt important to her)
4) maybe tried to hard to impress her

i dont know,i tend to blame myself for our break up..i keep thinking what if i didnt have an attitude problem or what if i didnt try to hard? BUT look at the stuff she did!

should i blame myself ?

[Rowen]

1)she almost cheated on me 2 weeks into our relationship
2)she sent dirty pics to a guy
3)she ditched me one night to go hang out with a guy
4)she talked dirty to another guy
5)she started hanging out with this girl and my girlfriend started to make less time for me andmade me feel unimportant
6)if a guy hit on her she wouldnt tell the dude she had a boyfriend, she would just make up an excuse
7)she would never talk our problems out

Here's all I'm going to focus on because, frankly, it tells me everything I need to know about you.

Like it or not, what she did multiple times was cheating. Paint it any color you want, and make up any excuse you want... But it was cheating.
But I'm assuming this all happened throughout the 6 months- not just in the past week. Thus, this speaks a lot to your self image and confidence level. You settled for the love you thought you deserved- someone who would only hurt you like that. And in doing so, you tortured yourself. Now that it's over, though, you blame yourself because the entire time you subconsciously put her up on a pedestal.

Learn to love yourself and learn that you are worth love. In doing so, your confidence will increase, and you won't stand for someone who hurts you like that. Not to mention, then you won't blame yourself anymore.

I can relate... My own self image/confidence is twisted like that, and it's the reason I currently am in therapy.
Best of luck.

[pcmaster]

Agree with Rowen it is about selflove. While she loved herself enought to do whatever she wants and dont feel guilty you might be more mature and lost some of that blind love.
However she gave you less value and perhaps had better social life or higher sex drive. However man Im almost your age and after dealt with two years younger girl I realise how much pain in the but could be 19 year old kid.
Diferences are in lots of importand things - faster change of feelings/adaption/forgeting feelings faster. Also love at that age is more physical than emotional. At that age some girls dont even know clear diference.
Also its best to date your age of girls because they will be more things in common and with that more stuff to talk about. However unwilling to talk about relationship problems is sign she still have to grow up in order to be ready for serious relationship. Also it is a sign that for her there was no so much "us" as there was for you. She simply was disrespectful attention recieving(and taking) immature girl.

However this shit is damaging and you definetly should attent counselling or therapy if you feel like confidence is holding you back from meeting better girls. This have to be talked out with some careful listener for emotional support.

Also she have younger brother so that suggests she used to be dominant and unapologetic with guys. Perhaps she didnt understand or care that what she used to say to brother might be more painful and harder to understand to a guy who actually love and respects her and himself.

Check this out for start and wish you meet more devoted girl in the future.
loveforum.net/threads/85672-Guide-How-to-deal-with-breakup

[marklouis]

You did NOTHING wrong!She clearly wasnt ready for a relationship

[mickmarss]

damn shes messed up

[4 ratties]

Are you serious? U deserve better than that wench

[sophiaadam]

i think you shouldn't do that forget the past

[Smila]

Dead on arrival!! Why did you get into this in the first place? I mean, what were the qualities that endeared her to you?