he treats me so bad, what do I do?
We are 20/21 years old weve been together for a little over 2 1/2 years. I cheated on him about 4 months into it and he knows. I regret it everyday. I was drunk but thats still no excuse. Well now every time he drinks he brings it up and about a week ago he made me sit in the car and ball my eyes out telling him every detail about it to torture myself and last night he wemt to the bars without me (which I hate, I get jealous easy) well he told me about it today and I was just like um what and he said its not a big deal and hung up on me. I wasnt yelling or anything but that didnt matter. Then later in the day he said hes tired of my s*** and doesn't care what im upset about and to never bring it up if I am.
I think I feel guilty and believe I deserve it for cheating on him but I really dont know what to do anymore and for the first time I really was consdering suicide when I was in my car that night. I had never felt so low.
Please don't say just leave him if it were that easy I would. And I cant talk to him about it because he just gets mad