Whom should I choose? Help!

[Lisa73]

Thanks to everyone for your advice. Somewhat differing opinions!

For me the lack of sex/sexual attraction is the main factor. I know that must sound shallow because sex isn't the most important part of a relationship but IT IS a problem if it is missing. I have tried talking to my partner about it but he always shuts down. I've tried being as open and honest AND taken into consideration his feelings, but he just doesn't want to talk about it. But honestly, I haven't been able to have sex with him because all I can think of is him and the other women. And one thing I never mentioned in my original post was that I only found about the affairs because he HAD to tell me! Are there there others I don't know about?

One extremely important thing I have taken from all your comments is that I need to be on my own for a while. Jumping into a relationship with this other guy would be a huge mistake and end up being the rebound relationship. I can see that now.

[surfhb]

Thanks to everyone for your advice. Somewhat differing opinions!

For me the lack of sex/sexual attraction is the main factor. I know that must sound shallow because sex isn't the most important part of a relationship but IT IS a problem if it is missing. I have tried talking to my partner about it but he always shuts down. I've tried being as open and honest AND taken into consideration his feelings, but he just doesn't want to talk about it. But honestly, I haven't been able to have sex with him because all I can think of is him and the other women. And one thing I never mentioned in my original post was that I only found about the affairs because he HAD to tell me! Are there there others I don't know about?

One extremely important thing I have taken from all your comments is that I need to be on my own for a while. Jumping into a relationship with this other guy would be a huge mistake and end up being the rebound relationship. I can see that now.

why do you think that is shallow? Ive never seen a good sexless marriage

[bcgirl]

Sex is essential in a marriage. It helps release stress and tension build up between a relationship. It's a form of affection that two people that love each other need. I completely understand why the OP doesn't want to have sex with her partner (because of his infidelity). I wouldn't have sex with my husband and enjoy it either if i were in your shoes. What I don't understand is why your husband is okay with not wanting to have sex with you (yes, he is guilty of what he did), but any red-blooded man would need sex eventually. If your feeling sexual tension (and you are female), his sexual tension would be higher (being male). How does he release his sexual tension? Do you think it may lead to cheating again?.....
Also, what was his excuse as to why he cheated in the first place? ....and the second place?