cheated on my boyfriend

[Wakeup]

If you have no intentions of breaking up with your boyfriend and you will NEVER put yourself in the position you put yourself in this time, then why tell him? If you are going to break up with him then I wonder again, why tell him? Contrary to some peoples insertion that you should tell him, I'm thinking that there are times when confession is a selfish thing that only is done to alleviate one's own own guilt. This would be one of those times. Whether you stay with him or you go, telling him will serve no purpose.

Learn from this mistake so you don't repeat it.

I do hope you get over your personal insecurities so that you no longer feel that you need to hang onto one while you "cave" to the attentions of another. That's just unfair and selfish on so many levels. Surely you see that? Due to your wonderlust, you'd start on your journey to more self-respect and getting over your pseronal insecurities if you broke up with the LD boyfriend so you'll be free to pursue others without guilt and codependency.

in fact, i found that he respected me,

That would be him respecting himself, CG.

[Love'sReject]

Yeah, I guess Hitler was right in not admitting what he did. Confession is wrong. Therefore, lie or obfuscate. It's selfish to be honest.

I do hope you get over your personal insecurities so that you no longer feel that you need to hang onto one while you "cave" to the attentions of another. That's just unfair and selfish on so many levels.

Ohhh right, that's selfish, never minding the fact of completely lying by omission. RIIIIIGHT.

If you have to lie and be a whore, at least tell him so he can get himself checked for whatever disease you probably got and are giving to him. That's the minimal amount of fairness due.

Besides, once a cheater, almost always a cheater again. And keeping the guy around with wannabe justification is just lying to enable.

[Wakeup]

*laughing here* ^^^ Leave it to you to impose Goodwin's Law.

[Love'sReject]

*laughing here* ^^^ Leave it to you to impose Goodwin's Law.

OK, I don't ordinarily do that but I was being ironic given what you said in another post


YAAY Hitler.

[Wakeup]

... I see! ....

[Love'sReject]

Anyway, in non-Hitler news, OP, you should do what is right which is everything I said.

[ttylox]

but I found him interesting, and I thought that if I revealed this fact he'd stop talking to me.

Sad. If you're not proud of who you are (a taken woman, in this instance) and willing to admit it, despite your fear someone might lose interest in you, then you need to make a change. Obviously, the change in this situation is that you need to break up with your boyfriend. And did I read correctly that you were planning on sleeping over at his place anyway (even without the kissing or cheating)? Thats already scandalous, honey.

As for the new guy - I think it's weird he didn't ask for your contact information... if I were you, I'd chalk this up to a one-night stand and let it go. Otherwise you're not just a cheater, you're desperate too.

[Boisdevie]

If you don't want him to make you earn his trust back then keep quiet. I cheated on a guy and told him and that was so dumb. He didn't trust me he wouldn't let me go out with my friends because he no longer trusted me. He also was an insecure prick.

Bet he was a libran.

[cutiegirl]

OK, yes I gather that there is a debate between wakeup and Love's reject between the issue of "opening pandora's box". Wakeup thinks it would be selfish to do so, but LR thinks it's a "lying omission." I"m really conflicted tbh... but inclined to take wakeup's advice, since it's the easier route

I know the saying: once a cheater always a cheater, but if i'd been happy, like truly happy and hopeful, in the relationship, i don't think I would've let this happen. I would've looked on potential encroachments with disgust. this relates to what ttylox said, if i'm proud of who i am i'd have admitted to it, but i'm not really that proud...

[Love'sReject]

Trolling or horrible person. Actually, they both imply the same person. You troll of a horrible person.

"It's his fault" is like when Hitler said the Jews caused the Holocaust.

Oh, goodie, "the easier route", like when Hitler started the Holocaust.

He wasn't happy in his relationship with Jews; so he gassed them. Perfectly analogous.

[Wakeup]

^^ you're losing what credibility you had by doing that. Just my insignificat opinion of course, but just sayin.

i definitely don't want to look desperate, but i think maybe we're too scared to contact each other and that it should be up to me to approach the subject again since i think i effectively severed any chances of continued communication.

Just how desperate for this man's touch are you? Surely you'd want to wait and see if he actually wants you rather than make yourself so availablie to him that you'll never know if he's after you because he wants you or just because you're a sure thing. He picked you up in a bar. Hello!

I would suggest if you're so hot to be with bar-boy that you tell him once you've broken up with the far away guy who thinks you're being a good girl. Then you can start your subject line with something along the lines of "Would you like to meet up now that I'm free to do so?" Be prepared to discuss what you're trying to acommplish once you go to bed with him or you'll end up booty for sure.

As for the new guy - I think it's weird he didn't ask for your contact information... if I were you, I'd chalk this up to a one-night stand and let it go.

I agree. And, don't keep the far away bf for back up either. You don't love him.. if nothing else, that's clear.

[Love'sReject]

Sorry; I just happen to feel very strongly regarding cheating (I don't even cheat in video games).

[searock]

OP, the problem is not that you cheated, it is the reason for which you cheated: you are unsatisfied of your relationship. You also believe that it cannot change for the better, nor do you seem particularly keen on trying to make it be better. Also, you sound way more excited and preoccupied about the other guy, rather than your boyfriend. You are very clearly not in love with your boyfriend.

You need to break up. Stop wasting his and your time, there is no reason at all to drag this relationship on.

[ttylox]

Sorry; I just happen to feel very strongly regarding cheating (I don't even cheat in video games).

Pssh. What if the other video game was really, really handsome?

[Love'sReject]

Pssh. What if the other video game was really, really handsome?

Errm, you mean if the chick was a hot, buxom game? Nope. I said I wouldn't and therefore, gotta stick to my guns. One can't, after all, do what one condemns.