Should I ask my boyfriends guy best friend if he's cheating?

[clairedunham]

Why would he bother answering you if you are ranting at him?

He isn't but he'll come around

[Millie]

Okay first of all you said it was f****ing over, which is pretty final sounding to me, and second of all, did I miss the part where you knew for sure he cheated, I thought the point of this thread was should you ask the BF if he was cheating - a pretty pointless exercise if you've already decided you know the answer.

[clairedunham]

I never said he cheated. I said I have my suspicions and I dont know if they are true. He says he'll never do a thing like that to me because he loves me but once a cheater always a cheater right.

[Millie]

I never said he cheated. I said I have my suspicions and I dont know if they are true. He says he'll never do a thing like that to me because he loves me but once a cheater always a cheater right.

Ahhh okay sorry I think I misread something you wrote, my bad... mostly I would agree with the 'once a cheater always a cheater' thing - I do know of a couple of cases where that wasn't the case but I personally wouldn't give someone a chance to cheat on me a second time... still, maybe wait until you know for sure that he cheated before you worry too much about that.

[basilandthyme]

I'm Latina. Runs in me

Fine if you want to make excuses, but you'll find that everyone around you will get tired of your impatience and lack of focus.

[clairedunham]

Ahhh okay sorry I think I misread something you wrote, my bad... mostly I would agree with the 'once a cheater always a cheater' thing - I do know of a couple of cases where that wasn't the case but I personally wouldn't give someone a chance to cheat on me a second time... still, maybe wait until you know for sure that he cheated before you worry too much about that.

I meant he has cheated in all of his past relationships

[pennylane1984]

Claire-if you don't trust him the relationship will never be worth it. You don't want to have to second guess him whenever you aren't around him. Trust is everything in a relationship. Once you are suspicious then you will never quite be sure he is being truthful. I would find a different guy.

But...if you feel as though he is worth it and the time you spent on him is that important then good luck. I wish nothing but the best for you and your relationship.

[clairedunham]

Fine if you want to make excuses, but you'll find that everyone around you will get tired of your impatience and lack of focus.

You... don't... know...... me

[clairedunham]

Claire-if you don't trust him the relationship will never be worth it. You don't want to have to second guess him whenever you aren't around him. Trust is everything in a relationship. Once you are suspicious then you will never quite be sure he is being truthful. I would find a different guy.

But...if you feel as though he is worth it and the time you spent on him is that important then good luck. I wish nothing but the best for you and your relationship.

Thank you pennylane1984

[clairedunham]

And I was kiddin with the whole latina thing

[clairedunham]

Look. there's nothing I can do if he's cheating but it is my business because I'm with him. I'm not gonna ask his best friend. It hurts to think that your boyfriend is being physical with another woman because it is something special you want only for urself as selfish as it sounds. Because it actually does drain you of the energy you were feeling and the love you had for that person. It is an addiction.

[namemyname]

You said you don't trust him.

If there is no trust, there is no relationship.

Unless you thrive on this kind of drama...

[clairedunham]

You said you don't trust him.

If there is no trust, there is no relationship.

Unless you thrive on this kind of drama...

How bout this? If my suspicions are correct Ill come back here and tell you.

[basilandthyme]

How bout this? If my suspicions are correct Ill come back here and tell you.

Claire, yesterday you posted this "I really want to stop having trust issues and stop accusing him of things he does not do. How do I become the greatest girlfriend I can be? Tell me things that you would love for a girlfriend to do. Ive never been good with r/s and want to change"

In one day you've swung from accusing him over nothing to being sure he is cheating. In the space of a couple of days there are a stack of different threads with different trains of thought. You're all over the place and nothing is making sense.

Hon, you need to see a mental health professional.

[clairedunham]

Claire, yesterday you posted this "I really want to stop having trust issues and stop accusing him of things he does not do. How do I become the greatest girlfriend I can be? Tell me things that you would love for a girlfriend to do. Ive never been good with r/s and want to change"

In one day you've swung from accusing him over nothing to being sure he is cheating. In the space of a couple of days there are a stack of different threads with different trains of thought. You're all over the place and nothing is making sense.

Hon, you need to see a mental health professional.

You forgot to read the part where I already am. I can stop accusing him but still have suspicions