will arsenic cure my friends crush on the stupidest guy in town?

[Gigabitch]

I'm gonna have to agree with the way this thread is going. Maybe if she actually loses friends over this shit, she'll start to question her own bad judgment.

I say tell her you'll be happy to provide a shoulder to cry on and a couple of "I told you so"s when she's over her little rebound mistake.

The big rebound disaster is classic, she's not doing anything weird, here, but there's no reason why you should have to watch.

[misombra]

thanks everyone.

thing is she is my only girlfriend really. i have another one but she is always doing stuff at work and we hardly ever see each other.

i've pretty much gotten rid of all my friends within the last year or two. that one quote of haywards pretty much changed my life. i got rid of the alcoholic friend, remember her? two other friends who were so much drama it was too much for me. does it have to be her too?

the quote was: respect somebody as long as it doesn't cause you to lose respect in yourself.

i thought to myself, how can i respect myself and these people at the same time? i couldn't. and the floodgates opened.

so yeah, i don't have any other girlfriends that i feel would be good soil for my flowers.

[squirrley]

Girl you know when enough is enough for YOU. Friends come and go but true friends always stay. Things will work out in the end no matter what, keep your chin up!

[vashti]

Aww, now squirrley, that's not really fair! You are sort of implying that if misombra decides not to support this woman's bad choices, she hasn't been a true friend. Sometimes you HAVE to withhold support to be a true friend. true friends will be honest with you, even when it hurts.

[squirrley]

No Im not suggesting she bail on her, but that everything does work out. I know she's about her only friend left and Im not suggesting bailing on her. But I think given some time it will be ok.

[Mish]

after we left the party, she called me to inform me that she hasn't found anybody that makes out as well as him and she's going to be hanging around him for a while.

It sounds like she's in it for the physical stuff. In the early stages that can cloud everything else. The longer they will hang out together the more important opinions of others (Especially relatives) will become. Once the physical stuff starts to get boring, you can be sure enough that she will start seeing through all the veneer and will come running back to you in no time.

You may need to weather this one out. Be supportive as a friend. Tell her she can always come and talk to you, you will listen and understand. Be on her side. Before you know it she will be giving you all the dirt on this guy.

[misombra]

so i think my friend has decided to refrain from bringing him up. she was over here last night and he called her. i heard her explain to him 5 times what she was doing. then i heard her making up excuses for why she couldn't see him.

omg she has no idea how clingy he is being. she's gonna have one bitch of a time getting rid of this guy. he is not going to go quietly.

[vashti]

Well, that's GOOD! If he is annoying, surely she will tire of him sooner.

[misombra]

okay sooooooooooo a little update...

so last night i had thanksgiving dinner at my house. well the whole night my friend was nagging me. mind you i had been slaving over this dinner for two days. she threw her comments around all over the place. "misombra are you gonna warm the pie, cause i ain't eating no cold pie." "misombra, is that spiced wine boiling?" and when i said yes she looked at me as if to ask, "are you sure?" she demanded i put things on the table, "you get that other tray."

then by the end of the night when i finally had enough of her, she went into the deepest corner of my house and called the guy and invited him over.

crazy thing is this is how he acts, or rather how she acts toward him, so it's okay to do it to me.

i don't think so you guys. i'm down to one friend and she's walking on thin ice. i'm beginning to think that i don't really need any close girlfriends. i'm content with just acquaintances.

[squirrley]

This isnt her normal behavior towards you is it? Personally I couldnt stand a "friend" who acted in that manner especially during the holidays. A friend is one who helps you not nags at ya!

Girl, Ive become complacement with super close friends. I have a few really good friends whom I can always count on to be there for me when needed, mind you there in another state. I do have a close friend here, but we work together and dont do things together on a regular basis outside of work. Ive just found it easier to have a few good friends who are around but arent get what Im saying?

Its good to have those kind of friends and those you just hang with, but there must be some sort of mutual respect and she sounds like she's just pushing it.

I hope you had a good Thanksgiving despite the BS tossed at the table!

[vashti]

Why did she invite the guy to your house without your permission? Did he come? What did you say to her?

I swear girl, it sounds like you are just too damn nice. Everyone seems to think that you will accept whatever they do, no questions asked. I think it is time for a heart-to-heart with this woman.

BTW - I'm not sure her behavior at dinner would have bugged you so much if she had not invited her idiot boyfriend over.

[misombra]

yeah, bringing him over was like icing on the cake. he did come. but the whole time she was waiting for him and the whole time he was here i could just tell that she wanted to go to his house. maybe she didn't because she thought my feelings would be hurt or something. i could just feel it. when he came she was so anxious to leave to his house or whatever. i kept thinking, "just ****ing go already."

the dinner was awesome. the food was so good and everybody was very happy. i made my first pies. two berry, two sweet potato, and one pumpkin pie. they came out so good. i guess you know you're 30 when you get off on making pie.

but having her there really drained my energy.

[squirrley]

Misombra, it may be time to let go of some of the time you spend with her. I say that because she's bringing you down. Its not good on your aura sweetie! Or your well being overall. When I find someone whose bringing me down to their levels or are just simply negative and nothing positive in the time or quality of time, I tend to back off. I literally have to make the effort to let go of friends who do this to me. It may not be a direct effect of the things they do, but it comes back around and makes ya feel like shit, so I just back off myself.

It was rude for her to invite the guy to YOUR house without even asking you first. Friends or not, its just courtesy to do so. I think she's starting to lack the basic qualities to friendship 101.

Im glad your pies turned out though! Amazing how little things at certain ages make you feel good! I made some roast for the first time a couple of weeks ago and was so proud.

You'll be ok Misombra, youre a good person and sometimes we just forget when we get wrapped up in males!

[Gigabitch]

Some people are friends for so long that they become family, and they start to take liberties. If you feel that this girl would be there for you in your hour of need, then by all means, tolerate this as best you can and hope it blows over soon. God knows she'll need you when she finally realizes she's been messing around with a chud.

I still think you should tell her she can't bring him over, though.

I want to meet this loser. He must be something really special to piss you off this much.

[Mish]

i'm down to one friend and she's walking on thin ice. i'm beginning to think that i don't really need any close girlfriends. i'm content with just acquaintances.

What happened to your other friends? And why not go out there and make some new ones?