How wrong am I?

[Young&Classy]

OUT OF LINE MY ASS!!!!! THIS IS ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM PISSED. FIRST OFF IT ISN'T THE SAME AS YOU AND YOUR FIRENDS WHO ARE GIRLS IF SHE USES THE PHRASE "THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE" DO YOU SAY THAT ABOUT A FRIEND YOU HUG????? HELL NO.

IF SHE WANTS TO WORK ON YOU THEN SHE NEEDS TO DROP HIM. STOP THE TEXTING, THE PHONE CALLS ECT. HE IS THE PROBLEM HERE YOU CAN'T FIX SOMETHING IF YOU DONT GET RID OF THE PROBLEM. AS FOR GOING BEHIND HER BACK AND CHECKING THE PHONE # I HAD THE SAME SITUATION WITH AN EX. AND GUESS WHAT???HER TEXT TO THIS GUY WERE INNAPROPRIATE. iF YOU ARE SUSPICIOUS CHECK IT OUT. THE ONLY REASON SHE WOULD GET MAD AND TRY TO TURN IT ON YOU BY SAYING "YOU DON'T TRUST ME" IS BECAUSE SHE IS PISSED SHE GOT CAUGHT. AND I AM SORRY IF YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO DO THIS SHIT WITH THE TECHNOLOGY WE HAVE NOW A DAYS YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET. DAMN IDIOTS.

SO IF SHE WANTS TO WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE THEN SHE CUTS COMMUNICATION WITH THIS JACK. OR YOU FIND HIS WIFE AND TELL HER WHAT IS GOING ON BECAUSE I GUARANTEE SHE DOESN'T KNOW!!!

DAMN NOW I AM PISSED GOT VEINS PUMPING OUT OF MY SKIN. GOOD LUCK AND BE STRONG TAKE A STAND.

[girl68]

easy on the caps man.

[OkieDokie]

Yeah, I've been through this process. I was still living with my ex and sleeping in separate rooms, having to listen to him text or call his gf in my house when we hadn't even yet filed for divorce. He was there on my ****ing charity. It was impossible for me to date, how could I explain how I was living with my ex?

Luckily WE didn't have a mortgage. If you didn't I'm sure you would've gotten out of there asap. Your wife is so juvenile, honestly.....does she think this guy is going to leave his wife for her and they're going to ride off in the sunset together? I'm rooting for you buddy. I want to see you meet some nice girl who rocks your world, and then find out that married guy dumped your ex and she's miserable and pleading for you back.

Oh for sure we'd have gone our seperate ways by now if their wasn't a mortgage, holidays be damned but since we do have mortgage we're going to put on the front of being together for the holidays which is getting tougher each day. She doesn't want to be there just as much as I don't but we both have a stake in the mortgage. We're going to meet with our realtor, see what the best plan of action is and what she'd recommend. Thanks for the support. I really don't know what her thinking is, she's probably pushing him to divorce his wife as she has no idea about my wife and her husband ( atleast thats what my wife says).

[OkieDokie]

SO IF SHE WANTS TO WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE THEN SHE CUTS COMMUNICATION WITH THIS JACK. OR YOU FIND HIS WIFE AND TELL HER WHAT IS GOING ON BECAUSE I GUARANTEE SHE DOESN'T KNOW!!!



DAMN NOW I AM PISSED GOT VEINS PUMPING OUT OF MY SKIN. GOOD LUCK AND BE STRONG TAKE A STAND.

It'll be alright. We're not working it out, we're going to get a divorce.

Trust me, the thought has crossed my mind MANY times to try and find some info on his wife to let her know whats going on...... Maybe after our divorce paperwork is signed. haha

[misombra]

Wow. What a scumbag she is.

[Olenjka10]

She started this whole thing so she can have an excuse to leave you more easily.Silent treatment- yeah, because she simply doesnt want to tell you that she wants to be with someone else. Its really sad that you have to go through this but at the end you' ll be better off. Hope your attorney is a good one, too and good luck, man

[twinrexes]

Chances are excellent that things WON'T work out with this other guy. People get into affairs because they'd rather have the thrill of "falling in love" with someone new than do the work to resolve what's missing in the relationship they're already in. So her actions are showing she's voted for chasing this married guy around. Sooner or later he'll have to choose her or his wife. If he chooses his wife, it's over. If he chooses her, gets divorced, and they pair up, eventually that relationship will settle into a routine. There won't be any more stolen kisses, secret liaisons and fervent texting behind anyone's back. She'll wake up one morning and realize that he's now just "that guy I'm married to". And the cycle begins again...

Too bad she can't realize that and agree to at least explore whatever issues she has with YOU, with the help of a councilor. But the previous poster is right, she's not open to it now. And I'm betting she'll live to regret what she's doing. I've seen it SOOO many times.

[RdHrshyKss]

^^^couldn't have said it better myself

[OkieDokie]

Chances are excellent that things WON'T work out with this other guy. People get into affairs because they'd rather have the thrill of "falling in love" with someone new than do the work to resolve what's missing in the relationship they're already in. So her actions are showing she's voted for chasing this married guy around. Sooner or later he'll have to choose her or his wife. If he chooses his wife, it's over. If he chooses her, gets divorced, and they pair up, eventually that relationship will settle into a routine. There won't be any more stolen kisses, secret liaisons and fervent texting behind anyone's back. She'll wake up one morning and realize that he's now just "that guy I'm married to". And the cycle begins again...

Too bad she can't realize that and agree to at least explore whatever issues she has with YOU, with the help of a councilor. But the previous poster is right, she's not open to it now. And I'm betting she'll live to regret what she's doing. I've seen it SOOO many times.

Great post. Basically how I feel about their relationship. I don't think there is ANY way it'll work out with them. I mean if it does, it does but the odds are against them like you said. I've already told her I don't won't to work it out. I couldn't be with her after what shes done, she wouldn't want to work at gaining my trust back and whatever else was her issues with us. She gets defensive when I ask her normal questions about her day, couldn't imagine if I actually asked stuff that would go towards gaining my trust. She's made her choices, she has to deal with them. Maybe that's being closed minded on my part but I made an effort when it was first brought up and she continued with the other guy so that to me was her decision. Your exactly right in that she didn't want to work out our issues, she made that very obvious to me in her actions. I have some ideas as to why she fell out of love with me that I will take with me and be sure to not happen next time around. IMO the issues I can think of aren't anything that couldn't have been worked out, but what she's done as far as cheating is a deal breaker for me.

[OkieDokie]

She started this whole thing so she can have an excuse to leave you more easily.Silent treatment- yeah, because she simply doesnt want to tell you that she wants to be with someone else. Its really sad that you have to go through this but at the end you' ll be better off. Hope your attorney is a good one, too and good luck, man

Both attorneys I've talked to say it doesn't matter really. The state will figure out what they figure out and that's that, if wifey and I cannot figure it out on our own. We pretty much have figured it out, neither of us are going for blood ( I can't really due to our incomes and she doesn't want to make it messy). We've only been married a couple years and have basically the same amount( not a lot) saved in our own names and are both liable for the house. THANK GOD we didn't try for kids yet, that was in the cards next year the last time we talked about it.

[Janegray]

Don't waste your time and money on counselling. She has checked out of this marriage, and the only way to rope her back in, is to serve her with a separation agreement and get the **** out now while you've still got your dignity. It's only a matter of time before they ****, and it's probably going to be some sleazy shit like in the car or at work because they know they can't do it at home...and it's probably already happened.

nice said, i'm agree with you

[OkieDokie]

Well just to update those who may be interested we started to formally file the paper work for divorce, should be in the court house by weeks end. UNFORTUNATELY we have to be seperated for 6 months for it to be finalized so sometime in May it'll be done and we need to sell our house. Meeting with our realtor later this week. Starting to tell our family now so this should be fun. haha

Also, I have the contact info on the guys wife (google is a great thing) shes dating or whatever the hell they are doing. What do you think, should I call his wife to blow their spot up too?

[erikasmith1982]

oh hell no..... if i was you i would just dump her. she is obviously into him, and she's acting like a little girl when her father say's you cant do something, and she pouts like a little girl. Also you need to tell her. would you be fine if i saw another girl or went to a game without you.Im sure she will tell you no. but why did you let this go on for sometime. Either she wants to be with you and talking to anyone else or she wants to part ways. So you definitely need to have a very serious talk with her about what she wants in this relationship and what you want out of it as well.

[OkieDokie]

oh hell no..... if i was you i would just dump her. she is obviously into him, and she's acting like a little girl when her father say's you cant do something, and she pouts like a little girl. Also you need to tell her. would you be fine if i saw another girl or went to a game without you.Im sure she will tell you no. but why did you let this go on for sometime. Either she wants to be with you and talking to anyone else or she wants to part ways. So you definitely need to have a very serious talk with her about what she wants in this relationship and what you want out of it as well.

Thanks. Check the post above yours. We're getting a divorce.

Don't worry, I painted the scenario of me going to a ballet ( something I really don't enjoy since she isn't into hockey to much) with a girl I knew for 3 months that has told me she was into me. She never gave an answer to the question of how would she react to that so that told me she wouldn't be all that happy about it.

[doppelgaenger]

I'm glad that you're getting the advice you need. I'm mainly here for entertainment, now.

So how hot is this guy's wife? You ever think about going after her? That would kill two birds with one stone.