Should I just forget him or keep hoping that he will come back?

[IndiReloaded]

It's hard to detach. The hormones really are potent. Try to think of other things. Keep busy. This too shall pass.

[basilandthyme]

Another thing that gives me hope: he got into a fight with a good friend when we were together. At first he wanted nothing to do with him anymore because he was mad and stubborn. But then he cried in front of me for his friend, that he missed him. And when he started to think about the good times, he started taking contact and trying to meet and talk everything out again.
I think that that's a good sign for how he handles fights... It just takes time for him.

And is this what you want in a boyfriend? Someone who will disappear when there's an issue and come back when and if it suits them?

Assuming that history repeats itself and he does come back to you, how will you cope next time he does this? Fast forward to if you have a family with him...how will you feel for your children when he does this?

[tifftje2812]

So I left him alone for 5 days, but yesterday night I couldn't handle it anymore. I sent him a brief private message on facebook: can u call me sometime?
One minute later he called me. We had a normal conversation... He has to go to the hospital tomorrow and he told me how he was doing. And he asked me how I was. I said I still really care about him. He said he would call me to let me know what the results of the scan in the hospital are. And that I could come by to see him there if I wanted to. Is this a good sign? We didn't talk about our relationship, we didn't fight, he wast acting nice towards me. And he told me he'd like to come to the birthday party of my sister (where I will be 2). My sister's boyfriend invited him because they got along quite good.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I knew you wouldn't make it. Have fun pouring salt in your wounds.

[tifftje2812]

People in love are always idiots in some way. I don't care what you think about me. I just don't give up on people that easily. You may do that, but I don't have to be like you, so stop making a fool out of me.

[tifftje2812]

And I don't put this comment here to let someone tell me that I'm an idiot. I just need advice. Thank you.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You've gotten 4 pages of advice. You don't want to listen to any of it. You want people to tell you what you want to hear. I don't really give a **** why you posted here.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's not a matter of giving up or not either. It's about having a little goddamn self respect. Sooner or later you'll get it, hopefully.

[Wakeup]

People in love are always idiots in some way. I don't care what you think about me. I just don't give up on people that easily. You may do that, but I don't have to be like you, so stop making a fool out of me.

You're doing that yourself, love. Anyway he treats you poorly from now on is you volunteering to be disrespected.

It's obvious you don't want to let go and you'll have to figure this out on your own. Good luck.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

He hasn't treated her poorly or disrespected her, and I don't think he will, which is why she thinks she has a chance still. Hell, maybe she really does have a chance still. I just think it's pathetic when people refuse to accept reality and then continue to make excuses for themselves. I'm just going to sit back an watch this one, and wait for her to go psycho on him.

[Wakeup]

I think he does disrespect her by keeping her in his life and giving her false hope. He doesn't want her, he should leave her alone and let her heal.

After she (hopefully) learns the lesson that this relationship was meant to teach her and she heals, she can find someone who is more suited to her then he was. She'll never get to that stage if he keeps her around for admiration purposes and because he thinks keeping her as a friend is being kind when it's not.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

He's not being disrespectful. That carries an intent with it. He's probably having some second thoughts at this point, and that's probably why he will talk to her. He probably also feels like he's being mean if he ignores her, and he knows that she is emotionally unstable to begin with. Ignorant, perhaps. Disrespectful, no.

Besides, her healing is her responsibility. Even if he was keeping her as a back up, it would still be her fault, which I guess you already pointed out.

[Wakeup]

Well, as a man who is the type to keep chick around for sex after you've delgated her as poontang only worthy, I don't expect you to understand the point I'm trying to make. Yes, she is responsible for her ownself but if he only invited her back around because she contacted him out of desperation, and he knows that and he knows how vulnerable, naive and easy pickins she's going to be, but has no intentions of making her his gf again, then yes he's disrespecting her.

If they do reform somekind of "thing" with each other again, hopefully she's NOT stupid enough to have sex with him again before their relationship has been defined as exclusive bf and gf of the romantic kind.

There is a whole lotta guys out there like you and a chick has to look out for her own emotional health when it comes to re-establishing after a breakup.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I pointed out that he's probably having legitimate second thoughts. It sounds like he is keeping conversations going because he wants to, not because he feels obligated. He hasn't made any attempt to hook up with her or even see her, though he did say she could visit him in the hospital, so I don't think he's using her as easy pickin's. Sounds like he might be scared about his health situation, with a bit of regret. I seriously doubt he is contact with her to take advantage of her vulnerability. I do understand the point you're trying, to make, I'm just arguing that he doesn't fit the bill.

As for girls I 'keep around' for sex..I don't really keep them around. I don't call them for anything but to hook up. I'm not leading anyone on, and I certainly am not lying to them. We're all adults.