Girl persues relationship, then totally changes up on me....

[ZG123]

I decided to go to lunch with her yesterday. Basically she said she was sorry, and she had no excuse, said she was the most selfish person Id ever meet. Im still head over heels, but I dont think I can stand for this.I buckeled in the car and kissed her when she wanted to, shouldnt have done that. This weekend was a test, you would think a half way decent person if they blew you off would ask you to do something first oppurtunity they had, after we left work, no call saturday, and no call today. I guess Im done.

I'm supposed to do something with a girl today that I got her number few weeks ago...still wish it was "my" girl though.

[BlackiesHD]

I'm supposed to do something with a girl today that I got her number few weeks ago...still wish it was "my" girl though.

I know that feeling all too well. I haven't heard from 'mine' since early Friday. I haven't called her either but why bother right now? The last thing she said was that she wanted to come over next weekend but I'm sure there will be another excuse at the last minute.

I guess I'm lucky in that I'm very fickle. Self-preservation I guess. Like I said, the last two nights helped my self-esteem a LOT. Without slamming a door of course, I have to move on a bit. I wonder after all this hurt over the years if I'm even capable of TRUE love. Famous last words, huh?

Frankly, my advice would be to get together with the girl you mentioned above and go do something fun. You might be pleasantly suprised how much better it will make you feel.

[Gigabitch]

I feel thoroughly ashamed for every wrong thing I've ever done to a nice guy, and thoroughly proud of myself for having learned that respect begets respect.

We're not all a bunch of self-absorbed bitches. Just most of us.

[ZG123]

Guys, this hurts so bad. I told myself that I should just be done, and I havent initiated a call or text in over a week. However I have been returning texts when I get them for the most part. It seems like she was sad that I wasnt talking to her as much. I have been acting civil to her at work and even walked to the cafeteria a few times with her. I guess I was up for giving her another chance if she put in some type of effort. She has yet to ask me to hang out just me and her since the Birthday fiasco.

Like I mentioned, I just bought a bike and she kept saying how she was gonna be on the back all summer. Well the other day she calls me while Im at work, it was her day off, and asks if I wanna go riding with her and her friend, yes, a guy. Im like, not if you are gonna be on the back of his bike. Shes like ok, well just meet up with us and Ill get on with you. I get there, we talk for a few minutes and I tell them Im supposed to meet up with other friends on their bikes. We decide to ride around until Im supposed to meet them and I ask if shes getting on back, she says well, my friend came all the way out from blah blah and I havent seen him in forever, but its up to you. So I dont wanna look like a dick in front of this dude So I say do whatever you wanna do, she chose his bike. I rode around with them for 20 minutes and was disgusted seeing her on the back of his bike. I told them that I was gonna go meet my friends and she told me to text her when I met up with them and then we would meet back up, I never texted her.

All yesterday I still never called or texted, and neither did she. I went out for some drinks last night and sent a text at around midnight of just "...", we send that sometimes to eachother to get eachothers attention. She replied with the same thing within a few seconds but I didnt write anything back, I was hoping she would say something. Now I have to go to work today and its gonna suck, bad. I feel so disrespected, but Im so head over heels in love that I cant stop hoping theres still a chance. I told Blackie to stop talking to his girl and I need to do the same, but seeing her almost every day does not help with that situtation....

[Gigabitch]

ZG, that's not love. Love makes you feel good. She makes you feel like shit.

Why? Why, why, why? You seem to be a quality guy who is really into her, so what the hell is she punishing you for?

[ZG123]

Had a blow out with "my" girl last night. At work she overheard me talking to one of my friends about going out. I went over and sat by her during part of my lunch and she asked, "are you going out with so and so tonight?". I said I dont know and asked if that was a just a question or what. She yes, just a question.

Later on after work she texts me and asks what Im doing, I tell her just got out of the shower. She then asks what Im doing tonight. I say might go to a bar that just opened up, dont know yet and ask what shes doing. She says "nothing as usual". Then I ask "are you hinting at something or is that just another question". She replies with , just another question. In my opinion, when you ask someone what they are doing , twice,you are kind of implying that you want to possibly hang out with them. So I call her and ask what shes getting at and whe end up arguing,. I end up calling her out on the fact that she blew me off and has yet to make up for it. I ask if I should just give up on the idea of ever hanging out again, she tells me "to do whatever I want". She tells me Im being crazy and tells me shes gotta go so I hang up on her.

Then, at like 1am I get a text saying "sorry I was being bratty". I did not reply. This girl is very selfish I dont know how I put up with this. I think it would be very easy to get over her if we didnt work together.

Also, last night got a girls number at the bar. And I may sound like a scumbag right now, but I had the last girl I was "dating" over and handled some business, twice.

[BlackiesHD]

I told Blackie to stop talking to his girl and I need to do the same, but seeing her almost every day does not help with that situtation....

And it was good advice ZG123 which I've followed (suprisingly, knowing myself) but like you said, I don't have to see mine everyday at work. My heart would be in a meat-grinder if I had to be in that position.

And speaking as a fellow motorcyclist (thus my screen name) I can relate to a girl riding on the back of another guys bike when she's supposed to be with you. As you probably know, there are a lot of unwritten rules among the motorcycle community. Hopping on the back of another guys bike is one of them, very dis-respectful. I had it happen once and it really pissed me off. In fairness to my then girlfriend she apoligized later and said she didn't mean any disrespect, she didn't know that was not kosher. It never happened again, all was good.

You're doing the right thing by going out and seeing other people. Sitting at home brooding is not healthy, I know because I've done it many times, just waiting for the phone to ring. There have been nights when I litterly had to drag my ass out to a club but just about 100% of the time when I get there, I was/am glad I did.

Overall a nice weekend. Met a cutie Friday night, got a 'little' action, saw her Saturday night, Picnic at the beach at night, made out like crazy, very nice and romantic.

But then Sunday I had to drive four hours (round trip) for business. That's when it got bad. The long, lonely streches of highway, empty passenger seat, seemed every song on the radio reminded me of mine. Too much time to think. Why isn't she here with me? What did I do so wrong? I asked myself.

Oh well, I made it through. You will too. Hang in there.

[Gigabitch]

And I may sound like a scumbag right now, but I had the last girl I was "dating" over and handled some business, twice.

Clarify. You tried to slip that one in at the end, didn't you? What does this mean, and when did you do this?

[ZG123]

Clarify. You tried to slip that one in at the end, didn't you? What does this mean, and when did you do this?

Slept with girl I used to date....

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, I got that, but WHEN- like, last Thursday or something? And what does it mean for you? Are you just bumping uglies, or is she going to be coming around for lunch at work? Will she be on the back of your bike?

[ZG123]

Yeah, I got that, but WHEN- like, last Thursday or something? And what does it mean for you? Are you just bumping uglies, or is she going to be coming around for lunch at work? Will she be on the back of your bike?

Oh, sorry. Saturday night. And just "bumping uglies". Kind of a drunken hookup type of thing, nothing more...she wont be on the back of the bike.

[Gigabitch]

That doesn't make you a scumbag unless you're leading her on.

[ZG123]

That doesn't make you a scumbag unless you're leading her on.

No, not all, I dont do that...

[Ellynn]

Wow, this post completely changed.

Sorry to hear how shes being a b*tch to you. Its one thing to be scared, but another to be a complete b*tch about it and take advantage. Maybe she uses the fact that shes scared or just says she is to totally mess with guys minds. Who knows?

She's definately taking advantage of you. She wants to be around you when its convenient for her. That sucks! Its girls like that that ruin it for the rest of us.

You sound like a good guy, and you do deserve better.

Just be cautious with this new girl you are sleeping with. Let her know up front that its nothing serious.

You're hurt and thats understandable. But the only way to not be taken advantage of is to avoid that girl you like. Let her manipulate some other guy.

[tamnmarc]

Hmm, IMO, she is not completely into you. If she was there would be no hot or cold.

Perhaps it is a control type thing. She wants you to want her, but she doesn't want to commit. She keeps you hanging by every once and a while dropping that "almost in love with you" crap.

Sometimes girls enjoy a good puppet......and can relish in making you feel good then horrible. It makes people feel better about themselves, when they don't feel to self confident. I had done it to a certain extent years ago when I wasn't seriously dating someone. I enjoyed getting someone to be interested.....the pursuit was fun.....then I felt creeped out by how much he wanted me........so I backed away, after a while of not hearing from him.....my pursuit cycle happened again.......not proud of it.....but I was unsure what I wanted in my own life so I had to exert control on something.