Why are so many people in their 20s taking so long to grow up?

[doppelgaenger]

Mi amigos!

_________

[girl68]

hell no! my 20's SUCKED. 30's are much more fun. the older you are the more you want your husband to leave you for someone younger. or older. or uglier or prettier, you don't fuking care you just want them gone and/or otherwise occupied.

fair enough but my 20's are pretty god damn fun so far anyways!

[LailaK]

Indignant is cray cray! Let's just agree on that.

I agree with Vash. The main reason I'm not having kids is because I'm not ready for them. I'm too selfish currently. Personally I think that's a very mature choice for a person in their 20's to make. There is nothing that I hate to see more than someone in their 20's giving birth when they aren't financially stable or emotionally stable enough for the child. That's unfair to the child. Mother's in their 30's have a better chance of being mature enough for motherhood.

[nerdy_guy]

I'd rather have a saggy butt wife who's well educated, capable of contributing to the family should the need arise. Aside from that, My saggy butt wife can educate my kids as well if I don't need her help financially. People who's got the mentality that they'd dump a 35yr old highly educated woman for a young dumbass tend to cheat on their wives when they grow old anyways, that is why we see wrinkly ass 60-70yr old males would PAY just to be with a 20yr old dumbass instead of appreciating a contributing wife after all these years of marriage.

As to the title itself: Why are so many people in their 20s taking so long to grow up.
Usually people grow up fast enough just to have sex. Then the growth starts to plateau after that.

[Sonrisa]

Indignant is cray cray! Let's just agree on that.

I agree with Vash. The main reason I'm not having kids is because I'm not ready for them. I'm too selfish currently. Personally I think that's a very mature choice for a person in their 20's to make. There is nothing that I hate to see more than someone in their 20's giving birth when they aren't financially stable or emotionally stable enough for the child. That's unfair to the child. Mother's in their 30's have a better chance of being mature enough for motherhood.

I highly doubt that you are going to be less selfish with time. People only get worse with age. Our flaws are only magnified.

[LailaK]

Then maybe i should never have babies.

I thought people were suppose to get wiser with age? I've been told that by the oldies on this forum often enough.

[Indignant]

I am not sure if it's really getting wiser. I person must have some sort of intelligence to start off. Not everyone possesses it in the first place. Wise get wiser and vice versa. Others just learn from their mistakes mostly.

[LailaK]

I have tons of female friends who never want children.

They are smart, well off, amazing women who just don't want to be mothers. I really respect that they're following what they know is right for them instead of what society tells them to do.

As for me, I want kids someday, but I would never subject a child to the lifestyle I currently live. I also don't want to give up my lifestyle right now, I'm having too much fun, but I know in a couple of years I will mature and grow tired of it. Then, I'll be ready for kids. I also want to wait until I find a stable relationship and a man who could be a good father. I'm still learning about the type of man I want in my life. I probably have a few more years of making mistakes before I get it right.

I was reading an article about Halle Berry recently. She told vogue that she thinks biology is backwards. When you're in your 20's and you aren't ready for kids you're amazingly fertile. As you age and mature and become ready for kids it's harder to have them. Ideally, for the modern woman, biology would be reversed. I agree with her completely.

Modern young people are children longer (teenagers are no longer considered adults). The twenties have become a time for experimentation and making mistakes. There's no reason to bring babies into that tumultuous time.

[Lipp]

Indig, working in a reconstructive surgery clinic has ****ed with your head.

[Indignant]

IWhen you're in your 20's and you aren't ready for kids you're amazingly fertile. As you age and mature and become ready for kids it's harder to have them. Ideally, for the modern woman, biology would be reversed. I agree with her completely.

i couldn't have said it better.

[Indignant]

Indig, working in a reconstructive surgery clinic has ****ed with your head.

what are you implying? do you think that i am talking out of my ass here?

[Petit Papillon]

I will start to try for a baby at around 28.If everything goes well I should have a degree and work at least 2 years,it's long enough to ask for baby break without being afraid of getting replaced at work And I still be young momma, I don't wanna have kid after 30, there is so many women that were saying "after i get 30..." and after they say "ok next year, next year" and then they become older and it's getting harder for them to get pregnant,so if they are lucky they get pregnant at 37 or 38 - and this is pretty late for the first baby... Well, that's my point of view , my observations

[hurt_confuzd]

what are you implying? do you think that i am talking out of my ass here?

Yes.


_______

[Mish]

I agree with the notion that people in the west tend to mature a bit slower. In Russia for example it is normal for people to get married in their early 20s and have children into their mid 20s, to finish their degrees by the early 20s and already be in the proccess of progressing their careers in mid 20s. In the western countries this is a lot more delayed. In US the average marrying age is mid to late 20s (late 20s to early 30s for UK, Canada and Australia) and all other progress also goes slower. This is why a lot of immigrants adapt so quickly when they arrive, they genrally come better equiped and better skilled in their age brackett (having spent all of their teenage years putting in the sweat) than their native counterparts.

But I guess the main question is it bad that it's like that? Last I've heard the fertility rate in US and Australia is of the highest in the world, economically these countries are doing much better than others and the standard of living is also pretty good. Whatever age gap or skill shortage is developed quickly get filled by the skilled immigrants from overseas who have children of their own and life goes on.

It's hard to say who's a loser or a winner here. "Everyone has their own truth" is what my 21 year old cousin said (who's marrying at 21), when we had this discussion. The Russians will tell you of the health benefits (for mother and the child) of having children earlier in life and benefits of working harder younger to secure a better future later on and they will be right. The Americans and Aussies will talk of the importance of being mature enough to pick the right person before being married and to establish a solid career before bringing children into this world and they will be completely right as well. It all comes down to personal preference in the end I guess.

[dewilliams2]

I agree with the notion that people in the west tend to mature a bit slower. In Russia for example it is normal for people to get married in their early 20s and have children into their mid 20s, to finish their degrees by the early 20s and already be in the proccess of progressing their careers in mid 20s. In the western countries this is a lot more delayed. In US the average marrying age is mid to late 20s (late 20s to early 30s for UK, Canada and Australia) and all other progress also goes slower. This is why a lot of immigrants adapt so quickly when they arrive, they genrally come better equiped and better skilled in their age brackett (having spent all of their teenage years putting in the sweat) than their native counterparts.

But I guess the main question is it bad that it's like that? Last I've heard the fertility rate in US and Australia is of the highest in the world, economically these countries are doing much better than others and the standard of living is also pretty good. Whatever age gap or skill shortage is developed quickly get filled by the skilled immigrants from overseas who have children of their own and life goes on.

It's hard to say who's a looser or a winner here. "Everyone has their own truth" is what my 21 year old cousin said (who's marrying at 21), when we had this discussion. The Russians will tell you of the health benefits (for mother and the child) of having children earlier in life and benefits of working harder younger to secure a better future later on and they will be right. The Americans and Aussies will talk of the importance of being mature enough to pick the right person before being married and to establish a solid career before bringing children into this world and they will be completely right as well. It all comes down to personal preferance in the end I guess.

Have to agree with your points in the last paragraph. I don't know there is a right and wrong but generally I would say it is better to wait. I was just to be this way though. I remember when I was little my parents saying "look at the birds, they build a nest and then they make the babies"....at the time I didn't really understand but now I do. I was just raised that first you establish yourself and then you start a family.