Well, I only have time to read the first page of posts. And here are my general thoughts that apply to the average person. I'm not saying you're average, you might be more mature than most 18 year olds.
- When I was in high school there were LOTS of girls age 18 who wanted to get married and have kids. My ex GF was one of them. I didn't want kids yet, but she did as soon as she turned 18. So that's why we broke up. (I came from a small town, if that matters.)
- Generally I think people should date at least 10 people before they get married. And don't get married before age 25, because you haven't really defined what you want, and haven't developed the relationship skills for a successful long term relationship.
- Also, I think people should date for at least a year before getting married, and live together at least 6-12 months. You really don't know them until you live together.
- Ignoring what this guy (your bf) says about you, how does he act towards you? Is he respectful? Is he caring? Does he put work into the relationship?
- Getting married isn't the end of your social life. But having kids is severely limiting your social life, especially for the first 2-4 years. So, you might get serious, maybe get married, and still have a social life. But when you have kids, everything stops and the kid becomes the most time-consuming, most important thing in your life.
- And so, just to convince us that you are more mature, how about you list the aspects of a mature relationship? Can you list the fundamentals needed for a successful relationship/marriage? Just list everything you can think of.
- People on this board are making generalizations about the OP because they see this pattern a lot. They see an 18 year old girl have sex, and she automatically thinks "he's the one", which is wrong, because she is making major decisions based on emotions, not facts. We just don't want you to get hurt that's all.
- I prefer dating mature women, and sometimes they are older than me, sometimes not. I'm in my early 40's so I date women +/-7 years my age. At least, that's the way it's turned out for me. For me, age does not matter, but maturity matters.
- And so, if you want to move in with this guy, go ahead, but please don't get married until you live together for 6-12 months. After 12 months you will probably see the real person he is.
I think I can see the perspective of the OPs here. I also move fast in my relationships, but that is ONLY AFTER I talk to them 4-8 hours on the phone asking questions that are important to me like:
o What type of relationship do you want? (I'm looking for a long-term relationship.)
o How do you handle communciation in a relationship?
o How do you handle arguments in a relationship?
o How important is compromise in a relationship?
o What are "love languages" and why are they important?
There is no point in me dating the person unless these questions are answered for me. After that, yes I might sleep with the person quickly, because now I know how they will address the concerns I have.
Last edited by bulrush; 22-08-11 at 08:15 PM.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)