My boyfriend and his ID

[jaslovesant]

This is a problem I've had for ages. I have it often, and every time it does happen I cry. My boyfriend loves drinking and goes to the pub with friends a couple times a month, sometimes a couple times a week. Since he got his ID he has been taking the piss. I hate the idea of my boyfriend being drunk in a crowded pub with girls around. I get so scared and where I'm not 18 yet I have no ID to be served, so I stay at home while he does what he wants. It really hurts, I'm always scared, whenever he goes to the pub I will keep phoning him - asking when he's back - not once has he come back to see me after the pub. He always says, "Oh I didn't know it was that time" - and I'll always hang up and get wound up with him. Alot of his mates have girlfriends but are known to flirt with other girls - How do I know my boyfriend don't do that? He makes me feel out of order when I shout at him. Yesterday he said, "I'm going out tomorrow night, so don't go phoning me all night moaning". But I can't help it, I really cant. Please help me!! when I know he's at the pub, or out on the town I can't sleep - and I just cry. He doesn't know about this, and I feel down because I'm younger and can't join in and keep an eye on him. His birthday his coming up and hes going out on the town with his brother and some mates. He keeps telling me hes going to get paraletic!! how does that make me feel!? - then his sisters birthday is coming up and shes managed to get hold of free-passes and free-drink-coupons.

PLEASE HELP ME...

[artyemi]

when i was around that age, i had the same problem.. it gets better. i think you're more insecure at a young age. you're worried about losing him. you're afraid he's looking at other girls.

try and relax. it's really hard, i know. but try to keep it in check because if he didn't want to be dating you, he'd left you by now.

[clynn]

You definitely can help it. you don't have to phone him while he is out. It is better if you don't.

Soon enough you'll be old enough too !!! then you'll see what the big deal is and you'll realize it isn't really a big deal after all!

[mini696]

Wow, your an insecure little one aren't you?...

Theres nothing you can do, and by phoning your BF all the time you are showing him how much you dont trust him. Why are you in a relationship where you dont trust your BF?

He is already angry/annoyed by your constant phoning, and this may be for a number of reasons, but I can think of two main ones;
1. He's a cheater and he's on the defensive.
2. You've pissed him off to the point where he doesnt care any more, and will now go out just to make you angry (get revenge).

By phoning him when he is out, you ruin his fun. Do you understand how much of a downer it would be if you got the messages you sent when you are out?

OK, he's a bit insensitive by not seeing you after he's gone out, and by not understanding how you feel (maybe he does), but its not his fault you dont trust him. Unless you have reasons... Do you??

There is no point in making him feel guilty for having fun with his friends, this will only give him reason (make him think "well if I'm going to get blamed for doing shit, I may as well give her a reason to be angry").

Mick

[Aaron Blanc]

Well... the fact that you care what he is doing, and that you actually feel sad when he is out drinking "sad enough to cry"... shows that you really care about him. Alot of times... both people want to express how they feel towards each other.. but do not consider how the other person will view the whole thing.
The whole situation is that he is out drinking with his friends.. and this makes you worried that he may be getting more than a drink at the pub/bar.
Fair enough.. it's a very sensitive and emotional feeling.. but it does not seem like you show him how important he really is to you. If you end up screaming at him.. and if he ends up screaming at you.. while you both still have unresolved issues... there is more and more damage being done by the day...
Guys understand that when a woman is not feeling too attracted and emotional to them anymore... they will simply give them space... LOTS of space... sOoOo much, that they start to get lonely... until they feel the need for thier partner again...
This is what your boyfriend seems to be doing... He finds the excuse that he is going with his friends to go for a drink... and this leaves you alone and thinking for a long time... Exactly what he wants you to do...
You, on the other hand... are worried that he may be cheating.. or exposing himself to the risk of cheating... This is not the type of thinking that he left you alone to torture yourself with...
He comes back after giving you some time away from him.. only to find you worried and suspicious of him... and he still feels detached... This can be very frustrating to him at this point... He has left you alone.. and does not want to be strait foward about the real issue... and on top of it.. you still didn't get the hint...
However... this is what you CAN do... try to understand... that all he wants you to do... is spend some time away from him... and miss him... He wants this because he feels more detached... So satisfy and comfort him by trying to think about him when he's away... not as him in the bar... but as how great he is... and how much you love and care about him... when he comes home... show him how important to you he really is...
Soon... you will start to see that he will start spending less time with his friends at the bar... and when he does.. you will feel better and less worried that he might be exposing himself to other people...