I think im ruining my relationship with jealousy and fear

[jj102885]

So im with my girlfriend and she is in a male driven occupation. She is in training right now for her work. There are study groups which is male dominated. She will receive texts from men (school related etc). My jealousy and anxiety levels go nuts. I feel as if she will leave me eventually for someone who is better looking/ more to offer (someone with higher education as herself). She tells me all the time that she loves me deeply, she wanted me to move with her to her training facility states away (which i did). My fear is if im working and she is on her weekend and with her study friends that drinking will be involved and will potentially turn into more like "wow hes cute, and flirting heavily".

This stems from a couple of things...
1.) i was cheated on in my last relationship of 7 yearsf.
2.) she is naturally flirty
3.)she had a lot of sexual partners in her past (60 or so)

To me what makes me so damn special that she is to settle down with me and be happy. Am i wrong to think so jealous and if so how do i help. She has gone out of her way to help with my jealousy, shes aware of it. She says she doesnt know how to show me anymore than she has to prove that she loves me and as she says "Your it, im done, im done looking". I believe her when i cool down and think rationally after blowing up or going little nuts, but when something new comes up or i hear a text go off my head goes to a negative place.

Please help i dont want to ruin things, im not being resonable...this i know.

[Cerby]

How old are you two? (Before I comment further)

[jj102885]

26 and 30. She is 30.

[Cerby]

Well, this is definitely a "you" problem. Many females work in male dominated professions, my gf is one of two females on a team of 40 people where she works. 60 partners is a LOT for a past, not very many people reach that number, so I can see why you might be insecure about her just "giving it up" to someone without a second thought, she clearly has done so in the past.

But really, what matters is if you trust her or not, many people have a past, have partied, and have had crazy sexual encounters. If she is with you for you, then you need to look forward, not back. If you can't trust her, then the relationship is doomed.

[jj102885]

In one way yes it is a lot of partners (to me at least, she doesnt seem to think so) and the example you gave ("giving it up to someone without a second thought, she clearly done so in the past")i agree with and one of the reasons i worry, what makes me so different? But she says she is changed, she had "that" life style and understands what its like and it sucks to be "alone" she says she doesnt ever want that again. So i realize that people have a past and i need to choose to move forward and not look back. How do you cope with that? How do you be ok with my own insecurities and past issues tied with her past and move forward with male friends/work etc.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Cheat on her preemptively, then it won't matter. She's definitely going to cheat on you given how many men she comes into contact with and the fact that they'll be out drinking, getting to know each other for a while.

[jj102885]

So it is a lot to have 60 plus partners...she has said no.

[Cerby]

yes, it is. But it shouldn't matter if you love her and want to be with her. You cannot judge someone for their past, it is something they cannot change. This number shouldn't dictate whether you trust her or not.