Hey, i'm an 18 yr old, almost out of college (UK) pretty down to earth guy. I've been told im a descent guy, i've been told i'm very kind and caring, i've been told i'm pretty funny, i've been told i'm pretty good looking, and i've never been told i was a horrible evil person, so you'd think i wouldn't have much problem getting a girlfriend and keeping a relationship going.
Well if you thought that you would be wrong, unfortunately. The reason being a few factors, with the main one being i am unbelieveable lacking in confidence when it comes to girls, so much so that i get overly nervouse even when i want to add a girl i like on facebook or talk to her on the internet, ley alone in person. I think the problem is that i always think the worst is going to happen and so i protect myself from it, i'm worried that if i do add the person they will be like "WTH is he adding me for, i'm not accepting that!" or if i talk to them they will be like "ok, why is he talking to me, he's really wierd (ignores)" and in person i'm worried if i say something to them they will just look at me as if i had just told them i kill babies for fun.
I think the main reason i get soo worried is because i think they are going to reject me and if they do then ill feel terrible and my depression (moderately depressed) will just get worse and i will eventually see no reason to live anymore, and i've been very close to that, but i want things to get better instead of worse!
I think the reson i feel this way is becasue my confidence was completely sapped by my last few girlfriends who all ended up either being an "im always right and your always horrible" psycho or a cheating spoilt bitch. and becasue of that i just expect to get a bad reasction from any girl i get too close to. and not to mention i was pretty shy around girls i liked when i was starting out secondry school(12-16) before all this happened, but i pretty much got over it in the few years before i met these girls.
So how come i have pretty much sussed out the reson for my exteme shyness, but i can't manage to do anything about it. I have tried to just think, who cares i'm probably wrong, whats the worst that can happen ect, but thats a short term fix that noramlly ends up with my heart racing and me worrying untill the initial dust settles, and normally after that everything runs pretty well, but i still can't seem to get rid of my anxiety!!!
So what i'm wondering is, there anything i could do, or any type of therap i could do that could sort this out becasue after nearly a year of trying all the DIY fixes nothing seems to have worked, and quite a lot of it has made it harder to talk to people. So if you know anything i could do any type of therapy that could help me sort this out i would be gladly appreciative becasue i want to get this all sorted out before i start uni in 2011 after i take a gap year.
Thanx for reading
(sorry for the wall =) )