boyfriend and his ex

[Spring Haze]

My boyfriend is friends with his ex. I can accept this, and have. What I cannot deal with is me being around her. It's probably immature of me, but her presence is just a reminder to me of what they once had. Things would be better all around if I didn't feel this way and I wish I didn't.

She has asked my boyfriend on a few occasions why I no longer get together with them (my boyfriend, her, and her fiance). He finally told her the truth that I'm uncomfortable being around her, knowing the past that they have shared.

A few days later I receive a message from her saying she doesn't like this awkwardness, she wants to be friends. She even almost apologized for her relationship she had with my boyfriend (which I don't quite understand). She also thought I disliked her, which wasn't true. It was a friendly message all around.

I replied saying something along the lines of, "Please don't think I dislike you. This has nothing to do with you as a person - it's my issue."

Now she's telling my boyfriend online that I evidently hate her. Apparently my "intentions" may be different, but my "actions" indicate I hate her.

How am I supposed to deal with such a complete disregard for what I said - admitting it's my problem - and then having someone being so dramatic and judgmental by concluding I "hate" her?

Am I wrong?

[damn2008]

Why do they still "hang out"? Does your b/f's fiance have any issues with this?

I am "friends" with my longest relationship ex- but I use that term loosely because we do not hang out. We talk, we have dinner together "to catch up" once in a blue moon. But we do not hang out....we've both moved on.

[Spring Haze]

They still get together because I guess they like each other as friends. Her fiance doesn't have an issue with it. Probably because he knew of the situation before officially becoming involved with her. There is a lot of past drama between the three of them... I'll condense it by saying her now fiance came between my boyfriend and her. She broke up with my boyfriend to get with him.

The whole situation to me is bizarre and I don't understand it.

[Yggdrasil]

I think you should tell your b/f that his ex has no business what so ever in your relation with him.

Being friends with your ex is one thing, an ex telling your current partner lies is something else. If you 'hate' her, then admit it. If you simply have a hard time understanding and accepting ex's can be friends, that's something you indeed have to deal with, and it's totally none of her business to be judgmental about that.

You need to have a good decent talk with your b/f about this before it affects your relation with him in a negative way.

[lovehost]

Well, If she broke off with your boyfriend for some other guy, your boyfriend should have been offensive about her. But if he has overlooked what all she did, it might indicate that they were never serious about the relationship. And needless to say it's a good sign for you. Also if your boyfriend likes the company of the other couple you should cooperate and more you hang out together more you can let her know how happy you two are now.