The Boyfriend

[just.Her]

OK GUYS ! =)

I have a situation on my hands.
Me, 19 currently a student @ a local university in my country.
I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year.

Say what? JUST a year u say? well.. not just a year.. it felt like AGES.
There were a few problems evrynow and then. And they were mostly about communication and my feelings.
We didnt communicate much when it came what we both think of things or how we feel. I would be the one in the relationship telling him how i feel and i just want him to understand.
example:
me: i rang you yesterday and told you i was at a party with my girlfriends, i didnt knw how to get home remember? worst case i was going to cab (taxi) it home at 3am alone. why didnt you call me to check up on me if i was home yet? or even rang to check if i ended up finding a trust worthy person who could get me home? do you even care about me?
him: Whats wrong with catching a taxi home?
me: what? do you even care?
him: im joking
me: im not playing jokes! im serious okay...
him: how am i suppose to know when you were leaving the party


His a very stubborn person. Is he scared to tell me how he feels? i want to understand him and let him understand me

[Ashliejae]

i am confused is he your mom, why would he need to check in with you. and vis/vs. So you went to a party and your only 19 shouldnt be drinking and if you cant find your way back to your dorm or student housing then figure it out. I am sure he does love you. What most people dont like is the pressure like did you miss me, or you dont care you didnt call. The fact of the matter is your a big girl and should be able to take care of yourself and if something really bad happens like you got sick or in an accident im sure he would be right there.

[just.Her]

i am confused is he your mom, why would he need to check in with you. and vis/vs. So you went to a party and your only 19 shouldnt be drinking and if you cant find your way back to your dorm or student housing then figure it out. I am sure he does love you. What most people dont like is the pressure like did you miss me, or you dont care you didnt call. The fact of the matter is your a big girl and should be able to take care of yourself and if something really bad happens like you got sick or in an accident im sure he would be right there.

lol sorry i dont have time to explain it properly. Me and him pretty attached to e/o, we usually do everything together. im a sensitive young lady. and i do want him to check up on me every now a then to at least shows that he cares. And Ashliejae. the drinking age is 18 darling. wouldnt u think of a chance of alcohol being there? thats why i couldnt drive?
anywho, i'd take it as..

dont call, dont care.

[vashti]

Why should he call you at 3 AM? I would expect him to be SLEEPING. And if you are so attached to him, why wasn't he at the party with you?

Damn, between this and the girl who wanted her boyfriend to leave a wedding to cart her around, I am thoroughly convinced that 19 year old girls expect too much out of a guy.

[just.Her]

Damn, between this and the girl who wanted her boyfriend to leave a wedding to cart her around, I am thoroughly convinced that 19 year old girls expect too much out of a guy.

what? are you serious? haha thats just too crazy!
im not expecting too much than a 2min phone call. Is that too much to ask? =/

He wasnt at the party with me cause it was my old school mates 21st. He doesnt communicate well with others rather than his own mates. so its settled that he didnt come along.

[vashti]

Is that too much to ask? =/

Yes, at three in the morning, it IS too much to ask, and yes, I am serious.

[just.Her]

Yes, at three in the morning, it IS too much to ask, and yes, I am serious.

How about you step in a shoe of a 19 year old girl. I am sure you were once like this =)
I guess age plays a role in this too.

[IndiReloaded]

me: i rang you yesterday and told you i was at a party with my girlfriends, i didnt knw how to get home remember? worst case i was going to cab (taxi) it home at 3am alone. why didnt you call me to check up on me if i was home yet? or even rang to check if i ended up finding a trust worthy person who could get me home? do you even care about me?
him: Whats wrong with catching a taxi home?

His a very stubborn person. does he really care? is he scared to tell me how he feels? i want to understand him and let him understand me

You are a self centred little girl who needs to grow up. If the above is what he said, he was being perfectly reasonable.

YOU chose to go out with your friends. He is not your keeper or responsible to see that you get home safe. You are responsible for that. And yes, nothing wrong with taking a taxi home.

Expecting him to call you at 3am is likewise stupid. He is his own person, not at your beck & call and yes, as Vash said, 3am is unreasonable.

Your last (asking if 'he even cared about you') was just a type of emotional blackmail. What could he say? 'No, actually I think you are a silly, self-centred brat! Now, I'm going back to bed, call me at a civilized hour.'

He will dump you soon if you don't straighten up. And rightly so.

[IndiReloaded]

How about you step in a shoe of a 19 year old girl. I am sure you were once like this =)
I guess age plays a role in this too.

Only that it means you are more likely to be stupid & selfish. But no, actually I wasn't like you either at 19.

You wanted honest answers, right? Well, most of the posts sound like we see you as the one with the problem. Sorry that doesn't fit your worldview, princess.

[just.Her]

He will dump you soon if you don't straighten up. And rightly so.

I treat him absoulutly fine thankyou.
If he will pick up his ex from the station in the morning, why cant i get the same priviledge. Better yet, just a 2 min phone call. Not that hard.
Im sorry to say, but you cannot call me a stupid and selfish brat when you dont know what ive been through. That is very rude to say to others. i thought you were mature enough, clearly your not.

thankyou for your perspectives.

[IndiReloaded]

Recognize this?

#8 --> I was stupid enough to try that. Now im in a mess i cannot forget; a regret i will live with. I personally do blame myself for making silly desicions. Im hurting people around me more than im hurting myself... all because of that silly desicion. And im right were i started... one and a half years later.. missing the ex with two guys on the side line...

" im learning the hard way.. "

You are still making silly, stupid choices. Your own words, not mine. Wake up, princess, or are you only looking for us to tell you what you want to hear?

[IndiReloaded]

I treat him absoulutly fine thankyou.

No, emotional blackmail & expecting someone to be at your beck & call is not 'treating someone fine'. Both Vash & I have already told you this.

Anyway, I've given my prediction. You are going to have trouble with this fellow if you continue to carry on this way & you will get dumped (unless you dump him first b/c he refuses to cave to your high maintenance demands). Good luck.

[Ashliejae]

regardless of the drink age im agreeing with everyone else on this. Your starting to sound controlling. If you dont like that he wont call you when ever you feel he should get a new boyfriend. And dont compare yourself to his ex there is a reason why they are not dating any more. I am sure he didnt tell you about him picking her up at the train station as a fun little story.

[just.Her]

Recognize this?



You are still making silly, stupid choices. Your own words, not mine. Wake up, princess, or are you only looking for us to tell you what you want to hear?

Like i said earlier, you dont UNDERSTAND what ive been through.
I AM trying to recover. Ive choosen who i want to be with and im making the best of it.
No im certainly not looking for "comfort". I am looking for an answer no one answered apart from bitching about who you "THINK" i am.

i kindly asked " How would u think he feels and how would i get him to understand me".
Before you say it. Yes i understand it was my fault, but you dont understand the type of relationship we have.

[just.Her]

regardless of the drink age im agreeing with everyone else on this. Your starting to sound controlling. If you dont like that he wont call you when ever you feel he should get a new boyfriend. And dont compare yourself to his ex there is a reason why they are not dating any more. I am sure he didnt tell you about him picking her up at the train station as a fun little story.

"dont compare yourself " Hrmm true. At least he was honest.