Not sure where to start or what to think

[MrMusics]

I've never really tried anything before never tried dating, never been in love, never done this, that etc and honestly seen much point in relationships. I haven't got much self esteem, I lack greatly in physical appearance (but I hope that that wont matter) and I can't really think of any good qualities that anyone would pick up on.
But now I think instead of just debunking the whole subject I should actually try for a meaningful relationship with someone and see for myself whether it would be worth it.

But I really don't know where to start :/ I'm not really a people person, I'm the outcast from the group, I find it hard to try and put myself into a group and try to just start up a random conversation with someone I don't know. Just talking like this is as close as I can get to talking :/

Don't really know what to or where to start or what to do :/

[sookie6]

How old are you?

[MrMusics]

I'm 22, people have previously told me that I shouldn't really think much about this yet, but I've never had any sort of experience at all, not even a first kiss.I just feel like I'm going to grow up alone.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Do you do have any hobbies?

[MrMusics]

Music, my passion, playing music, listening to music, guitar playing, music writing, making music, recording it, virtually any instrumental music is something I like I also like cartoon drawing, jogging and gym training, video work such as recording and editing and working with images, anything multimedia related really. And I like movies, good moivies that is and not the crap they paste on the cinemas these days.

It's all in my profile, but I'm not sure what you're getting at.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Jogging and gym training is the easiest way to meet people of the things you listed. Try joining a running group. You should also sign up for some multimedia workshops in your area, and whether you meet someone or not, at least you're improving yourself and your self image, so you're not projecting "I have no redeemable qualities" to everyone you meet. That question was just me trying to figure out some ways you could meet people with common interest. Are there any adult rec. sports leagues around you? You don't have to be athletic at all, there adult softball and kickball teams that are a lot of fun..and you can drink at them.

[vertical_sky]

She might be getting at, find people who share your passions. Online forums are a good place to start for people who feel awkward socially... Or if you're feeling very brave, track down events (conventions, concerts) in nearby cities and go to them. You don't even need to have a conversation with the people there if you're not up to it.... just absorb the experience with them, and be present. Go to enough events and people start recognizing you. Having friends is the first step towards having a relationship.

[SelflessnHumble]

I've never really tried anything before never tried dating, never been in love, never done this, that etc and honestly seen much point in relationships. I haven't got much self esteem, I lack greatly in physical appearance (but I hope that that wont matter) and I can't really think of any good qualities that anyone would pick up on.
But now I think instead of just debunking the whole subject I should actually try for a meaningful relationship with someone and see for myself whether it would be worth it.

But I really don't know where to start :/ I'm not really a people person, I'm the outcast from the group, I find it hard to try and put myself into a group and try to just start up a random conversation with someone I don't know. Just talking like this is as close as I can get to talking :/

Don't really know what to or where to start or what to do :/

Well one thing is for sure:
You write very well and express yourself in detail that is quite coherent and easily understandable
which is a huge plus. (Some say it is a gift!)
Most people that have got low self esteem and feel they lack in physical appearance
are great thinkers and writers although seemingly introverted.

When someone isn't exposed to certain emotions or a state of mind
it is very difficult (on the outside looking in) to see what the big deal is, however
consider your outlook as a positive because you simply have nothing to lose...yet everything to gain.

Relationships don't seem necessary BUT they help immensely more than you'll ever know!

Taking care of yourself (on the exterior) doesn't mean superficial.
A women generally likes a clean shaven man, one who smells fresh and clean
and wears clothing that at the very least fit them. Superficial women look at your watch, your shoes
and your car...A good woman can see what you have to offer from the inside out BUT she will
never be able to see this if you don't let her! So...what to do?

Getting out there is how you make it happen.
Talking to a woman that you don't know does not mean you want to "jump her bones"
(even though in today's society programming have women feeling apprehensive about meeting strangers)

Never mind that because your words are powerful and your approach can be inviting if you just
allow yourself to be yourself without thinking about social stigmas that usually preclude you from
taking the initiative in approaching people in the 1st place.

Grab your guitar, and search for local coffee shops
and open mic night atmospheres, GO and play your favorite pieces whether they are original or covers.
Someone will take notice.

Above all else? Exude confidence, not that you are some lyrical "bad ass" but that you
know your talents and what you are capable of. Don't limit yourself due to one or few petty insults
those around you are obviously jealous about. <--------This happens a lot with unsocial people.
There may be someone putting you down or not but if it ever happens DO NOT allow it!

I love music!
Music is my life or so they say so do what you want to do and allow yourself
the full potential of being exposed to a world that can be perceived as beautiful and limitless.
(Don't focus on the negative) and you will make it happen!

[MrMusics]

Hard to throw myself into events like that, tried it before and it sort of backfired and I've kept away from those things since, but I suppose I could start again.

[vertical_sky]

Well you might not be finding the right events or the right forums. Might take some shopping around, if you follow me. If you're feeling especially brave, you may want to sit down with a good friend whom you admire (he's come close or achieved the things you desire, like a relationship) and ask him his honest opinion of you, no holds barred. He might spot something in your behavior that is holding you back.

[MrMusics]

I see, suppose I just have to get off my arse and do stuff.

[SelflessnHumble]

I see, suppose I just have to get off my arse and do stuff.

That's I tried to tell you!
It's a numbers game: odds.

[MrMusics]

Sorry didn't see your post before x.x and I get most of what you're saying.

I've no problem with hygiene, I shower and shave everyday, I quit smoking over 2 years ago and I only drink socially (which since I'm none too social means hardly ever). I have a problem with talking to people, especially those I don't know, I simply cannot do it, especially playing guitar live for random people. I've only ever recorded myself on guitar for the internet but nothing live. I just worry I have no hope :/

[SelflessnHumble]

Sorry didn't see your post before x.x and I get most of what you're saying.

I've no problem with hygiene, I shower and shave everyday. I have a problem with talking to people, especially those I don't know, I simply cannot do it :/ and I lack confidence in anything :/ I've not much hope.

You had no issue posting in detail how you feel: =communication.
You had no issue telling me that music is your passion playing music, listening to music, guitar playing, music writing, making music, recording it, virtually any instrumental music is something I like I also like cartoon drawing, jogging and gym training, video work such as recording and editing and working with images, anything multimedia related really. And I like movies, good moivies that is and not the crap they paste on the cinemas these days...

This takes confidence to post that even though you don't realize it!
There are people far worse off than you so use your gift of being eloquent to your advantage and meet like minded people.
It's easy and you have nothing to lose because you said: "I've not much hope."

Then go out and get some hope dammit!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
No one likes people who self pity themselves.
Keep reading my post until it sinks in and go for it.
Nothing to lose and rejection is what makes you stronger and it builds character.

How do you think I got to be who I am?
Through mountains of rejection!
Seriously it feels good man.

[s0347688]

I have never actually wrote on these forums before - usually just a spectator, but a few things you wrote 'struck a chord' :-)

For a start I am actually going to be where you are based on Thursday, and you are in a great area to meet people.

But it takes small steps - when I was at school I was never really outspoken, didn't like to be the centre of attention. I hated speaking in front of groups of people - but now thats what I do for a living! Anything is possible, but things that don't come naturally to us need to be taken slowly. Set small and achieveable goals that take you slightly out of your comfort zone - and once you see the achievements, you will develop a better sense of self worth.

I am a true believer that to be truely loved, you need to love yourself. Plus, music is a great way to meet new people - and it can be very romantic looking at it from a potential mates point of view. You sound passionate about your interests, and that is a fantastic quality

Chin up lad - your only 22 :-)