I need some help with my boyfriend

[lm311]

I was great friends with this guy for about 6 months, and then we got together (physically) about 6 months ago and started a committed relationship 2 months ago.

He's been great with pretty much everything EXCEPT!! He has a friend who is a girl, who I have also been friends with in the past. They have slept together on and off for the past year up until the point where we got into a relationship (2 months ago). Basically, lately, I have decided to not be friends with her anymore because of the way she was treating some of our other friends and acquaintances.

Boyfriend is still friends with her, which makes me feel uncomfortable and he has lied to me about doing things with her twice now. The first time, he took some of her stuff over to her apartment when she moved. He told me about it the next day, but not when I called him at the time. On Saturday, she called him @ 5am because her car battery died and she needed a jump. The new guy that she's seeing was there with her, too. He told me about this last night. I would not have been mad about either of these things if he had just told me at the time.

He knows that I feel uncomfortable with him being friends with her...Not necessarily because she's a bad person. I just think nothing good comes out of that friendship for our relationship.

Him not telling me these things until afterward makes me feel as if something is going on.

I am not the kind of girl to tell him to just not talk to her, even though he has said he would, but I do not know what else to do! The idea of him talking to her sets my heart to racing.

I'm sure a ton of people have been through this, so I'm looking for some advice.

I love him so much and he really is an amazing guy. We are so well suited for each other and ALL of our other mutual friends have been so happy that we finally got together.

I'm not the best at story telling, so if anything confuses you, please let me know, and I'll do my best to explain :-)

[elz]

you're sick.... you're JEALOUS.... don't think like a paranoid.. have trust wit him!

[Asip4u]

It doesn't sound like he's the one you should be worried about. I think (the way you describe her anyways) she might be one of those types that can try and mess things up for you guys. I would still talk to him and explain that it bothers you. Maybe when he sees how important this is for you he'll stop being friends with her. If he doesn't stop then it shows he's not much into you anyways and you can move on...

[Bumble_bee]

you're sick.... you're JEALOUS.... don't think like a paranoid.. have trust wit him!

woah...easy there!



I understand that makes you uncomfortable, especially since they share an intimate history.

But you know it is more likely that he doesn't tell you because he knows how you will feel, and perhaps he is trying to spare you?

I think you should tell him how you feel, and just ask that he be open about it and you then won't feel so threatened by it.

[Enigmos]

agree with bumble bee... there is a possibility he doesn't tell you because he doesn't want you to freak out. of course, this deceipt only makes one suspect what is going on. let him know that you want open communication, but that you want to know his true intentions.

[lm311]

Hey thanks guys!

I have talked to him about it, and he's basically said that if I'm not going to be friends with her then it's not like they're really going to hang out anyway. I had already asked him to not have her over with no one else but the two of them nor for him to go over there with it being only the two of them.

I definitely didn't freak out either time that he told me the truth. I thanked him for being honest and told him that I wished he'd been that way from the get go.

I also said to him "If you're doing something you think is going to make me mad, then you shouldn't be doing it."

I would have gone to help her if she was stranded too and I think he realizes that now.

I agree with you Asip4U and I am more worried about her, but he does not see how she is. I feel like maybe she's in love/infatuated with him, and so only shows her nice side. She is one of those people that tries to act like she is always the victim, and he is very protective over any girl who is his friend.

Thanks guys. I let you know what else developes.

[lastwish]

If he is a good guy, he would reassure you continuously that nothing is going between them. Think about it. If he likes you, he would worry that he will drive you away.