I had sex with my roommate.....

[tina marie]

Well, you didn't have any problem with that the other night, did you? Twice.

He did. Twice. Can't you read?

[Junsui]

Ok, well I doubt he thinks you were using him, but who knows because you haven't talked to him.

[Rosebud]

ok.. I'm sitting this one out now!! eeek, too much sarcasm for me!!!

[carpflounder]

Your behaviour shows that you are ashamed of what you did. Why would you kick him out of your room and then tell him not to tell anyone?


It doesn't have to be weird..your just making it weird because your too clingy. If it wasn't for such emotional gals like you...friends with benefits would work out to the advantage of all parties involved.

[Debunkt]

It doesn't have to be weird..your just making it weird because your too clingy. If it wasn't for such emotional gals like you...friends with benefits would work out to the advantage of all parties involved.

Oh yeah, because guys never get emotionally attached. Carp, I hope you don't call anybody a slut with that mindset.

[whaywardj]

ahh yes that is what is says!!! I'm just saying I don't like it when people do that. sorry if I have an opinion!

I really hate it when people have an opinion that's different than mine. Really messes with my narcissism.

[carpflounder]

Oh yeah, because guys never get emotionally attached. Carp, I hope you don't call anybody a slut with that mindset.

I think that your a slut. jk..sorry I couldn't resist.

[Rosebud]

I really hate it when people have an opinion that's different than mine. Really messes with my narcissism.

oops, sorry didn't mean to do that Hayward!!! LOL

[whaywardj]

I had to re-read this thread to get back to the core issue, which, unless I missed it, no one seems to have mentioned.

This issue is NOT that you had sex with him and now don't know what to do. The issue is that you (both, evidently) feel "weird" around each other now. Why?

In any other context, would you feel weird about meeting someone you were attracted to and making love with them? What in the room mate context makes your desires any different or any more complicated?

You met someone you like. You expressed it (albeit, perhaps somewhat drukenly). To me, it seems rather too much ado over very little and, if it were me, I'd be wondering what the love-making might be like WITHOUT benefit of mind-altering substances such as alcohol.

[tina marie]

I had to re-read this thread to get back to the core issue, which, unless I missed it, no one seems to have mentioned.

This issue is NOT that you had sex with him and now don't know what to do. The issue is that you (both, evidently) feel "weird" around each other now. Why?

In any other context, would you feel weird about meeting someone you were attracted to and making love with them? What in the room mate context makes your desires any different or any more complicated?

You met someone you like. You expressed it (albeit, perhaps somewhat drukenly). To me, it seems rather too much ado over very little and, if it were me, I'd be wondering what the love-making might be like WITHOUT benefit of mind-altering substances such as alcohol.

The reason I feel weird I guess is because I'd like for something to come out of it but I'm not sure how to go about making that happen. And there's a (good) chance he could reject me and then I'd have to wake up every morning to that rejection... and come home every night to it as well. I have a hard time with casual sex... I always end up feeling somewhat attached when I sleep with someone. So I'm not really used to dealing with random hookups and their consequences.

Right now we're both sitting in our bedrooms, watching the same thing on tv. Our other roommate is out for the night. We haven't spoken to each other since he got home an hour ago and probably won't unless we accidentally decided to use the kitchen or the bathroom at the same time... which we will both try to avoid at all costs. I know I'm being childish and I should just confront him but I can't think of how to start the conversation... considering we've only had a conversation when on a mind altering substance. I am wondering how the love-making would be... but I'm also wondering, is he wondering too? I'm afraid to push the issue. And I'm a little old-fashion... I think he should come to me.

[Rosebud]

well just go knock on his door and say hi and ask him if you guys can talk.. then say you don't want things to be weird between you tweo and then apologize for kicking him out of the room the other night. He could be waiting for you to say something first since you told him to get out and not to mention it to anyone. Tell him you don't want things to be uncomfortable and go from there.

[gHEXjt]

well just go knock on his door and say hi and ask him if you guys can talk.. then say you don't want things to be weird between you tweo and then apologize for kicking him out of the room the other night. He could be waiting for you to say something first since you told him to get out and not to mention it to anyone. Tell him you don't want things to be uncomfortable and go from there.

I agree with Rosebud. If it were me that had been kicked out and told not to say anything, I'd feel like you were ashamed and embarassed about being with me. Just go talk to him and break the ice, and hang out. He probably feels the same weird feelings that you do. And if he doesn't have "feelings" for you, then so what. It's not like he's going to think there's something wrong with you, unless you become all stalkerish.

[whaywardj]

Yes. It's gotten to be a little silly, don't you think, tina? I mean, both of you out of sorts in your own home together. Really. Listen to Rosebud and gHEX. It's not a confrontation. It's a resolution.

[Splash]

Listen, I do understand everything you said. You have not done anything wrong. It was a combination of like, lust, lonliness...etc You have to find out if he is interested in you withouthout asking him. I sugest, one day you come home and tell him you are looking for an advice, somebody asked you on a date, and see his reactions, if he says , well what you want, say, well , you are not sure, you might have feelings for somebody else....etc. Do not make it obvious. See if he gets jealous..etc. then clear the air and let me know and then I can talk to you again.
Good luck

[Rosebud]

Listen, I do understand everything you said. You have not done anything wrong. It was a combination of like, lust, lonliness...etc You have to find out if he is interested in you withouthout asking him. I sugest, one day you come home and tell him you are looking for an advice, somebody asked you on a date, and see his reactions, if he says , well what you want, say, well , you are not sure, you might have feelings for somebody else....etc. Do not make it obvious. See if he gets jealous..etc. then clear the air and let me know and then I can talk to you again.
Good luck

what?? This doesn't make any sense at all. Why would you beat around the bush on something giving the wrong impression to somebody else? This guy may already have the wrong idea of what happened! I don't agree with this at all.