Need Help. Girlfriend Madddd!

[Jenova]

So me and my girlfriend usually get along real well. That is.. until a problem occurs.

Usually we sort problems out and in a day or two, we're fine again. However, the problem is usually about the same thing and is always my fault.

She asked me the question

"what if i was mad for no apparent reason, how would you cheer me up"

and personally, i don't see how that is possible. The point is that I can never seem to cheer her up when she is feeling down besides only doing the usual " it's going to be fine " and everything but that has become meaningless. I don't know how to cheer her up or make her feel better when it comes to shes mad for no reason. Just in a bad mood

what do i do!

[carpflounder]

Dump her. To much drama for me.

[Jenova]

Sry not an option.

It's not like a constant thing. we don't get into arguments often at all

but when we do, it's always about the same thing. this thing

[Jenova]

I really need to know how to fix this =(

cause if i don't, then when i see her today it'll be extremely awkward. Or when i talk toher, it's going to be dead silent again

[alice]

how should any of us know how to cheer her up, if you don't? we don't even know her!

[Jenova]

basically
when shes mad

i don't know how to cheer her up
so it's silent ont he phone
she gets mad and says that i don't even try to cheer her up
but i always have no idea what to say. i can say all the common things like it's goign to be okay and don't worry about it, but thats all i can do
she says i don't try and that means i don't even care

truth is i do care. i just have lots of trouble expressing it on the phone!

[Late_vamp]

i have this thing i do , always maked the lady im with happy , even if theyr really mad at me .

cant describe it tho ... it all soft talk , some soft touching , nice words ... cant really describe (would be long also) ... just try something better than "its going to be OK .... :goes back to watch TV:"

[alice]

i have this thing i do , always maked the lady im with happy , even if theyr really mad at me .

cant describe it tho ... it all soft talk , some soft touching , nice words ... cant really describe (would be long also) ... just try something better than "its going to be OK .... :goes back to watch TV:"

oh, i would have thought you tell her a nice story about one of your friends.

[Jenova]

i have this thing i do , always maked the lady im with happy , even if theyr really mad at me .

cant describe it tho ... it all soft talk , some soft touching , nice words ... cant really describe (would be long also) ... just try something better than "its going to be OK .... :goes back to watch TV:"

well in the end i always make her happy too. but i hate it when this happens.

and all i can do is nice words, because we don't see eachother often so we have to resort to the phone.

how can i say something better when i don't even know what the situation is cause she is mad for no reason!

[Junsui]

There is always a reason when someone gets mad. I agree with carp, too much drama. Sounds like she is just trying to get attention. Maybe she's insecure, I don't know. She shouldn't be relying on you to make her happy, that's her problem not yours. If she's getting mad for no reason then maybe she needs therapy to figure out where this anger is coming from.

[Jenova]

There is always a reason when someone gets mad. I agree with carp, too much drama. Sounds like she is just trying to get attention. Maybe she's insecure, I don't know. She shouldn't be relying on you to make her happy, that's her problem not yours. If she's getting mad for no reason then maybe she needs therapy to figure out where this anger is coming from.

I agree with there is always a reason.

But i'm her boyfriend. Shouldn't I be the one that listens to her, helps her out, cheers her up and everything??

[Junsui]

You should be there to listen, of course. There is only so much you can do though. It's not like you will be some magical cure for whenever she gets upset.

[Jenova]

You should be there to listen, of course. There is only so much you can do though. It's not like you will be some magical cure for whenever she gets upset.

i've told her that before. she just gets mad

i think she expects too much sometimes.

[Jenova]

is there anything i can do?

[Pears]

It seems like I've been in similar situations. From my personal experience, I have also accused my boyfriend for not caring over the phone when I had problems. He told me, "It's going to be okay" or "Don't worry about it". Honestly, I hated those phrases. To the guy, those phrases mean "I don't want you to worry because I don't want you to stress out and I care about you a lot." To the girl, it means "I'm telling you not to worry about it because it's not important and you should not care about it." Men and women hear different things from the same phrases.

In reality, I just wanted my boyfriend to ask me more about my life. I wanted him to ask questions such as, "How's your day?" and "How do you feel?". I also wanted him to say lovey dovey stuff every so often. I realized that boys are just different than girls and tend not to ask sensitive questions although they do care a lot.

Maybe you just need to be more sensitive to your girlfriend and listen a lot to what she has to say. Ask her "How is your day?" When she replies, ask her more questions about what she talked about. Sound like you're very interested. You know you love her so try to put it into your voice.