What would you do with a girl on your mind?

[perplexity1]

I wonder what a guy is willing to do with girls, when he has a specific girl on his mind. Do some actions just say that he doesn't like her [anymore]? Or do guys actually separate some aspects of their life from their love life?

Let me explain my case. I was "talking" to a friend of mine from college (whom I was never good friends with, but we became much closer this past summer). Any close friend of mine that I told about him and his behavior with me told me that he's either EXTREMELY friendly, or he's interested in me. He was incredibly dependable... always calling/texting whenever he said he would. He made sure to keep in contact, even though we live in different cities during the summer. Anyways, he's studying abroad this semester, and we were e-mailing in order to keep in touch. Our e-mails were neutral in that they were neither "just friends" or "romantic interest" types of e-mails, we were very ambiguous about that. About 5 weeks ago, he sent me one e-mail that pissed me off because it was self-centered, incomplete, and showed that he didn't read much of my last e-mail to him. I wrote back and called him on it in a joking way. He never answered after that. Two weeks later I wrote him on Facebook asking where he went, and he replied saying he was busy with travel and school (which he's always busy with, and I knew that he wasn't traveling at that specific time period, so I thought that was a lame excuse). My worry here is that he's starting dating/hooking up with someone over where he's studying. He's coming back at the end of the semester, so whatever's going on is probably short-term, but I just don't understand why he's blowing me off for it. How do guys think about stuff like this? If I were in his position, assuming he's with someone, I'd keep e-mailing and turn the situation into a "just friends" thing and keep going on that course. But I'm not a guy, so what would a guy do? And could this mean that he still likes me, or is it clearly over?

Any guys out there... please let me know how you see this situation and shed some light...

[Moonchild]

Well, I'm not a guy either, but it sounds like you're jumping to conclusions. You probably shouldn't worry about him seeing someone else--not because it isn't possible, but because you were never with him to begin with. Now, admittedly, I try not to leave people with explanations they won't buy, so I'll say that, from the perspective of one interested in females, I wouldn't lie to a girl I've been friendly with for no reason at all. That said, studying abroad is a unique situation. Travel doesn't include going there and coming back--it's a new country and a new situation, and sightseeing in a place like that may prove to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That said, I really don't understand where you're getting the idea that he might be involved with someone over there. And even if he is, I don't see why you should worry about something being "over" when it never actually began.

EDIT: Here's another idea. If he didn't want to reply to that particular e-mail and didn't know what to put in another, but did reply to a Facebook comment... Have you tried starting up another e-mail conversation, ignoring where you left off?

[minta2]

You're screwed...

If he doesn't talk to you he doesn't love you. If he felt attraction he would be talking to you.

[Michael6084]

DON'T jump to that conclusion. just because he hasn't been in contact doesn't mean he's necessarily found someone else and it's probably as he says it is, busy with traveling and whatnot.

i could imagine coming home to a girl and all of a sudden be interrogated for doing nothing wrong, and then not having your girl believe you because she thinks you're denying it.

[perplexity1]

I didn't mean to sound like I'm jumping to conclusions, but I have seen several recent pictures on Facebook of him with a girl that suggest that, plus she writes on his wall a lot with things that suggest it.

[CAM]

Mike Damone's rules for men (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)

1. Never let on how much you like a girl
2. Always call the shots
3. Act like wherever you are, that's the place to be.
4. When ordering food, find out what she wants==then order for the both of you...a classy move.
5. When making out, put on side one of Led Zeppelin 4.

Long and the short of it...your guy friend is Mike Damone-esque. He's playing it cool with you.

Guys don't make hard and fast rules. If you are available and that's what he wants at the moment, then you are in like Flynn with him. Key to the "game" is not to be so available to him. Don't cut him off; but just don't be so freaking available all the time.

[CAM]

"Available" = emotionally or otherwise.

[DoesntMatter]

When I have a girl on my mind I am usually ****ing her sideways on a couch

[miSSleepy]

Perplexity, you have no hold over this guy, you don't even give any indication that he was interested in you beyond a friendship. I don't see anything coming of this, especially since he's out of your proximity and obviously very busy.