I'm a Loner, And I'm feeling Lonely. Do a girl mind if you don't like people?

[Stalin_Skaya]

I never liked being with people. When I was younger I used to force myself. I went to Parties, but avoided talking to people. I went out with people, like to the cinema or bowling. But I always wished I was home instead.

When I became 18 I decided not to force myself any longer. I broke with all my contacts and stopped seeing people. I have always been happy ever since!

But I cant escape the fact that I'm a Man and need a Woman.
I have bought satisfaction all these years. But I want a steady relationship.

I know I will have to suffer like having to go out with her friends et c but it might be worth it.

But would a girl mind a loner?

I guess I'm attractive cause pretty girls approach me in bars. And I get a lot of looks, not that I care. And i'm 20 and have above average income.

Would a girl mind or is this a problem? I think that girls my age that are mostly in college would find it hard?

[Illusional]

im sure that if you're looking for a loner gf you probably won't find her at a bar. why don't you try looking around the movie theater for those people who watch movies alone, or those that have dinner alone. i'm sure that there aren't a lot of people like that, but there are a few.

raverboy

[Moonchild]

Depends on the girl. =) I'm the type to stay in the dorm all weekend, for example--I suppose I could be considered sort of a loner, myself. The more social ones would just try to drag you out with people, but a number would probably appreciate not having to deal with competition--that is, a typical guy's friends. XD; And I agree with what Illusional is saying, as well. They're most likely to be the people who go alone to what most people do in groups.

[Stalin_Skaya]

I noticed it too, girls seem to have life stages.

From 15-25 they want older popular guys that know a lot of people.
At 25-35 they want rich guys.
At 35-45 they want anyone single.

[Moonchild]

Let's see, I'm 19, so.... 15-25, older and popular, huh? Guess it depends on who you hang around with. My roommate, yeah, that's true. But she also likes him because he's cute and Japanese. >> Darn you Shinji! But most of the people I hang around with tend to go for the "outcasts"--my friend down the hall is engaged to a computer science student, for example. At least at this college, you cannot be more outcast than CS or Engineering. XDD Well, unless you're working on that one professor's robotics stuff. Then you're just /crazy/. But yeah, it depends on the circles you go around in. And I guess from a complete loner perspective, what you see is the loud girls--yeah, the ones who go for the football players and attend parties and all that stuff. But there are always a few quiet groups whose activities are a little outside the norm--roleplaying, for example. And they (the weird ones in general, not just the roleplayers; we're relatively rare) make up a surprising number of the population when you get past the loud "LOOK AT ME!" from the annoying people. >> But actually, I think it's less that girls are attracted to the popular guys, and more that the popular guys are the ones who show self-confidence. They're fine with who they are, and so they attract people who seek that sort of thing. Don't know if that makes sense... I've gotten distracted writing this about twelve times, so I don't think /any/ of it makes sense. *back to roleplaying. >>*

[Stalin_Skaya]

Actually I have only been a loner for 2 years, the best 2 years in my life.

I was forcing myself to be social before, went out almost 2 nights a week to party in high school et c.
I was role playing one period too, dungeons and dragons, vampire the masquerade, I even did an outdoors live once.
I tried all kinds of people to see if I just wasn't with my right crowd.

I'm talking about most girls generally like 90%.

[miSSleepy]

Have you asked yourself WHY you want a gf? Is it because you REALLY genuinely want her company or because you feel like you should have one by now?

Anyway, some girls may mind some may not. Some may come to mind it later on. I consider myself a semi-loner but I would not like a bf who was a hermit crab in the ling run.

[lin]

I noticed it too, girls seem to have life stages.

From 15-25 they want older popular guys that know a lot of people.
At 25-35 they want rich guys.
At 35-45 they want anyone single.

I'm on the 35-45 stage and I wouldn't say that any of those stages were ever true for me . I've always gone for quiet men who are intelligent and creative . Not complete loners .. but not the "LOOK AT ME" guys .

I don't think it's true at all that women who are 35 and above want any man who is single . If anything it feels more important to find exactly the right person . My standards are higher than they were when I was younger . My "quality control" has improved .

[Illusional]

I noticed it too, girls seem to have life stages.

From 15-25 they want older popular guys that know a lot of people.
At 25-35 they want rich guys.
At 35-45 they want anyone single.

well it's obvious, as you get older, the number of available people and choices tends to drop.

raverboy

[lin]

well it's obvious, as you get older, the number of available people and choices tends to drop.

raverboy

Maybe ... but does that mean that I should want to go out with anyone who is single ?

I'm old enough now to know what I do and don't want in a relationship . I think I'm a lot more fussy now than I was when I'm younger .

Yes I'd love to be in a relationship .. but I'd rather be single than just go out with anyone who's available .

[Stalin_Skaya]

People say one thing and do another, at least thats what my psychological teacher kept saying.

[Illusional]

Maybe ... but does that mean that I should want to go out with anyone who is single ?

I'm old enough now to know what I do and don't want in a relationship . I think I'm a lot more fussy now than I was when I'm younger .

Yes I'd love to be in a relationship .. but I'd rather be single than just go out with anyone who's available .

i'm not telling you that you should date just anyone, you can be picky, shit that is what is about.. but what i'm saying is that as you get older, the number of single people drops.

People say one thing and do another, at least thats what my psychological teacher kept saying.

haha that's the nature of people. most people say, "do as i say, not as i do"

raverboy

[Aura]

You need to find a girl that doesn't mind staying in and has similar views as you. If you get with someone who is really social then you will have problems. Good Luck.

[Michael6084]

this is somewhat off-topic, but you shouldnt call yourself a "loner" cuz that implies loneliness. id say you're an introvert more than anything else and that does not necessarily mean the same thing as a "loner".

i myself am an introvert. i can talk with ppl and whatnot, but doing things on my own or being at my place feels more refreshing than going out. i get tired kind of quickly by being around ppl.

i dunno if you're the same way, but IF you do find a girl, you should let her know that you're an introvert instead of a loner. introverts typically work different ways than extroverts and are generally more misunderstood because they have a lil more unique way of doing things, especially since society tends to favor extroverts than introverts. as if being introverted is a bad thing, and it definitely isnt.

[vashti]

I don't like people either.

At least, not today.