parents are involved...

[zebra19]

hey everyone.. i've been in this relationship in the past month with this old friend of mine of 4 years.. she's gorgeous and is very much an adult when it comes to relationships. she's spontaneous and so much fun to be with. we are great together and have fallen in love. there is nothing that bothers me when i'm with her. only one problem.. she's extremely controlled with her parents.. she hasn't told them about the relationship yet. everytime we wanna go out she has to either lie to them or sneak out somehow.. we are 26 and last time i was in a so-called 'relationship' like this was when i was 14... i don't like this one bit.. our plans are cut short half the time.. i make reservations for us and she can't make it.. but i know they aren't excuses.. this is how she is and always been.. her parents lock her in full control and she sacrifices a whole lot for them.. even if it means sacrificing her own happiness.. and ultimately mine, now that i am sharing it..

any advice anyone? i love her and she's a great girl.. but she doesn't seem to know how to stand up to her parents... she seems to be the type that is seeking their approval and happiness at all times.

plz help.. it breaks my heart when i can only talk to her when SHE can... when i can see her when SHE can..

peace..

[Cain]

You need to grab her and be all like, "Look, bitch. You need to tell your parents that they need to cut the umbilical cord or I'm going to cut their throats!"

Then take her back home for some wild sex!

[Aegis]

I'd advise you to tell her to get a place of her own.

[shh!]

I think your problem is NOT with the parents, but with your girlfriend. She is obviously passive, and is willing to bend to the strongest force, and it looks like that isn't you at the moment. Even if it WAS you, I wouldn't think of her as being an especially healthy woman... she needs to take charge of her own life, spearate from you or her parents. That she doesn't seems to imply that she takes some comfort in not being responsible for decision-making in her life.

[Terry134]

From experience..... Cut her loose. If she is that attached to her parents at her age, then it will take a lot to cut the cord. Been there, done that, got the divorce papers to prove it. The best advice I have gotten when it came to relationships was: if there is something about the other person that you can't stand, don't expect to change them. Either live with it or break up.

[zebra19]

thank you very much Terry. it makes a lot of sense what you said.