Is my Fiance Taking Me For Granted??

[lip3]

I feel my fiance is not showing as much love and devotion to me as I am to him. Ex. Recently I was mugged, and he told me he wanted me to from now on take a cab home after 9 PM or go with him. Tonight, he was going to watch a football match with mates at a pub, he said that I could come to the pub after my meeting if I wanted to. I called him at 9, and said my meeting let out what should I do. He said "the game hasn't started yet, can you take a cab home." What happened to the I want you to be safe and I want to protect you stuff he mentioned before? Suddenly because of a boys night and the game he drops me? Of course, I would have said no if he had offered me to come to the pub, because I know he needs to have some boys time, but he didn't even offer!

Another time, he was in Poland for a conference, and his phone broke, and he didn't even try calling me the whole time he was gone on a payphone. He sent me an email. I would have found a way to call him.

Then the next weekend he goes on a football weekend to watch a game, and to top it all off, this weekend is supposed to be a romantic weekend for us (and we are going to consummate our love - I wanted to wait till marriage, but have changed my mind after some hard thinking), and it seems like he doesn't care. He says he does, but I want him to show it! And all these trips without me beforehand makes me feel like he value the boys and sports over me.


I in the mean time learned to cook for him, leave him surprise notes, gifts, massage him, etc. I know he moved to Ukraine for me, and he works as a PE Teacher and is on his feet all day with little kids, but still.
Am I overreacting? What should I do?

[excowho]

Consider that you are planning on marrying this man.
Maybe the fact that you are engaged has made him too comfortable in the relationship, and therefore he feels like he doesn't need to put in as much effort.
The best thing to do is avoid carrying any issues into a fresh marriage.
Confront him, let him know exactly what you told us here, and try and work it out.
Maybe he's not ready for full fledged commitment and this is his way of rebutting.
If he doesn't make an effort to change, and it still is something that bothers you, then perhaps the marriage was not meant to be.

[Zitron]

Am I overreacting? What should I do?

No, you are not. You are investing a lot in the relationship while he is not. Maybe I AM over-romantic myself, but I still enjoy giving gifts to my fiancee and have to stop myself from doing it almost daily. And such a weekend as you mentioned, for me it would involve at least the whole weekend together and no other activities (friends etc.). Maybe you should postpone the weekend (if I see it correctly) and give him some time to see how his feelings are developing.