Need some male opinion!

[Courgette38]

Hi all!

I could use some male advice... I am in a relationship with a man who has always had huge commitment issues for a while now. I always felt like he had feelings for me though, and things, although sometimes difficult for me, have been slowly working out. A few days ago (but it's not the first time), he started asking me if we could do a threesome (with another woman). I admit I would have huge problems imagining him liking here better, or even touching her in any way (to which he just offered nothing but watching), but let's set that aside for now, it's another issue.

My question is, for you men out there: although I know men fantasize about this stuff a lot, but when a man has feelings for the woman he is seeing, does it make sense to want this kind of thing? Does it imply that he just doesn't care about me? That I'm not enough (sexually)?

I am sorry if my question is unclear, I am confused, and don't know if I should react (beyond even considering this or not) regarding the relationship I am in...

Thanks soooo much in advance for your help!!!!

[shh!]

I'm not male, but it's hard for me to imagine a man who really loves you asking you to do this.

[misombra]

save yourself a lot of pain and humiliation, and stay away from this person.

[GrkScorp]

A few days ago (but it's not the first time), he started asking me if we could do a threesome (with another woman)

It's important for him to start being a little bit more emotionally intelligent and realize that this is just one of his social pressure or porn fantasies..

Just like this reminds me of women who are unhappy because they're not living like a queen among the stars and are constantly less than satisfied with their husbands..



Your bedroom.., is sacred..

Sex.., is something between you and him.. It's symbolic of how you both feel towards each other.., your mutual acceptance of and love towards each other.. He does it to satisfy you.., you do it to satisfy him.., and on that rare occasion.., you both do it to satisfy each other.. And yes.., it doesn't always have to be that serious.., it can be fun too.. But the fun is only between you and him..

It's not at all healthy for a relationship to introduce a third person in the bedroom.., even if he doesn't actually like the other person.., it will take its toll on your self esteem.. You will start to be doubtful.., skeptical.., and drive yourself crazy.. If you're feeling this way now.., just imagine how bad it will be after the fact..

Get the third-wheel a dildo instead and tell her to go fcuk herself..

In a nice way.., tell him you understand his desire to fulfill his fantasy.., but remind him that he's in a relationship now.., and that he try and understand that you're not being controlling or manipulative here.., your goal isn't to make him unhappy.., but you want him to understand how you would feel emotionally if an other person tagged along.. It would drive you nuts.. (again.., in a nice way).. You know that you won't be ok with this.., and it will cause you to feel miserable.., and the relationship will feel a serious strain..

If that fails.., resort to an illogical female argument:

- Threesomes are like cheating! Would you sleep with an other woman besides me? Then why are you asking me for permission to sleep with an other woman? Do you want to make it ok to sleep with an other woman? Is that it? Do you want to legitimize your cheating by calling it a threesome? It's the same thing! Cheater!

- If you love me.., you won't want to have a threesome.. (the contra positive of which is.., only if you don't love me will you want to have a threesome.., there can be no other reason but you not loving me.., not even boredom.., she's hot.., or it being a fantasy of yours.. The only way it's even possible for you to want a threesome is if you don't love me)

If that fails.., resort to crying..

If that fails.., resort to bitterness and nagging..

If that fails..,

On second thought.., just try and talk about this like normal civilized people.. "You can win more with honey.., than with vinegar"