I Love my Girl Friend but......

[otasa]

Hi guys,

thanks for stopping by an taking your time to listen to me. i have been facing some issues for the last three years with my girl firend and i thought i get some opinion on it.

i have known her since i was in middle school, and we re-met and started dating in college. for me it was a weird experience. i have never dated before her, but i have slept with over three dozen women. i was into partying, drinking and drugs. i was able to change. i quit all of that and i seldomly drink now. i stayed in school because of her but i never took a liking in it so i dropped out again and joined the millitary. it was a very hard decesion to make bacause i wanted to spend my every moment with her like i have for the last three years. but i needed to do something in order to progress and life and not go back into my old bad habits. i have been loyal to her for this whole time..... but, since i joined the navy and been away from her for long perido of time, i slept with two other women. it was purely physical. as i am apart from her i can only feel my love for her deeper and deeper. i just bought her a diamond ring that cost me a months salary.

my issue i was always facing was this... i have never been PHYSICALy attracted to her throghout our relationship. when i first met her.. i was drunk and i thought that she might make a good *uck.. however, it didnt happpen that night and we started to see eachother until i found out i was falling for her. anyway, i know in my heart that i deeply love her, but i still have the urge to hook up with other women, experience different women in bed. i know that this is very selfish and awful thing to do to someone i love so much. since those incedents i have been avoiding going out, and coming across going to any pparties or events where i might meet another woman. it has been very difficult and most of all, boring. i do not want to end up like a typical millitary relationship. she might not be the prettiest dimond in the shelf through my eyes but she surely is getting polished brighter in my eyes the more i have gotten to know her.

is there a solution to my issue? is there an advice in order to make me more attracted to her so i do not have to look at other women? i have wanted to propose to her for the last year but i knew i couldnt with my heart like this, along with what i have recently commited. any comments will be greatly appreciated.

[ny2468]

Tough call dude, I have found a few women I am compatible with in nearly all departments EXCEPT physical, and ended it because of that, but could easily have kept going developing more feelings if I was able to put that aside.

Is the lack of physical attractiveness due to weight by any chance? That is something she could work on if she wanted.

[ecojeanne]

sounds like that you respect her more and more as you get to know her, however there is no chemistry and you fancy other women.

you should break up; and sooner rather than later. if you hesitate and wait well you may well end up married... and divorced very shortly after coz you will feel trapped by someone that doesn't even ring your bell

[Gigabitch]

Do NOT marry this person. She deserves someone who won't cheat on her, and that's clearly not you.

Getting married is for grownups. You're still a kid. There's nothing wrong with that, and I understand that you're trying to do the right thing, but you must recognize that your behavior is destructive and would undermine any marriage.

I know you're in love and all, but let me tell you about something from my own personal experience. I've been married twice now, once to a man I was lukewarm about and now to a man that I can't get enough of. There is no comparison. If you were someone who didn't really like sex in the first place, maybe you could hold it together with someone who doesn't really turn you on, but you are obviously a very sexual person, so BE that. Hold out for someone who drives you wild with lust, at least at first. It's worth waiting for.