Teen female w/ big crush on female coworker in her 30s

[bluegirl1013]

Ok, so I am a teen bi female. A few months ago I fell head over heels for a female coworker that's in her 30s. I knew from the beginning that nothing could happen between us.

But I just can't shake this crush. I haven't had many crushes in the past, and this one is just so intense. I work with her 3 days a week, and I just can't take my eyes off her. She has caught me staring a few times, and I think she's a little creeped out. We don't really talk because I'm so awkward and nervous.

The past few days I think I've started to become obsessed. I've been looking her up online, reading her old blog entries and her twitter. I can't wait to get to work to see her. In the past week I literally haven't gone ten minutes straight without thinking of her.

I haven't told anyone about this. I feel so sick and disgusting for being so taken with her. She is so amazing, I feel like she doesn't deserve a weird kid crushing on her.

I think this is starting to get unhealthy, but I just don't know how to stop. Is it unhealthy? Do I need to find a way to stop being smitten? If so, they how the hell do I do that?

[Aeradalia]

I can surely relate to your problem... crushes are not much fun.. especially when you are bi, because then it's not just rejection you fear, but being 'outed' or ostracized.

Infatuation usually dissipates when you try to ignore it and offer your mind other things to focus on. Whenever you want to gaze her way... instead do something else --- talk to someone else, or return to being focused on your work. If you feel the need to see what she has been doing online... substitute something else in its place --- check your own emails... or once more.. busy yourself in work.

Basically, you will have to replace the actions motivated by infatuation with something that doesn't encourage it. Also, you will have to make an effort to not give into your feelings -- forcefully ignore them. In time, when you are no longer paying attention... the feelings will be reduced considerably --- back to being manageable, or even gone.

[lahnnabell]

Maybe even go so far as to block those sites you frequent on your browser. Then you may be less inclined to peek in on her life. I tend to be bad about that too. I'm trying to block out reminders of my ex, but the trouble is he and I work together as well.

When I'm feeling the need to see him or talk to him, I find something else I need to do. I talk to my supervisor. I check in with my students (I work in a high school). I talk with my other co-workers. I've been through several intense break ups before so I'm pretty practiced at how to handle the situation.

It'll take some practice. Just set yourself up for success. Block those sites. Fill your life with stuff that is fulfilling and rewarding for you.

[bluegirl1013]

Thanks for the help. Anyone else got anything?