he had sex with one of my friends..

[Marla Singer]

I've been involved with this guy, let's call him Jon, for five years or so. We met in high school and instantly hit it off and became best friends. Down the road, after two years or so, we started dating and that lasted for about six months. He started compulsively talking about his ex girlfriends (All olf them, but in particular one that I wasn't sure if he had fully recovered from and gotten over) and he ignored my suggestions that he should stop. So I left him. Over the course of the next three years, I was in an abusive relationship and grew to miss Jon again. Jon is definitely the love of my life, and attempted suicide via OD over it. obviously I'm too much of a pussy to do it correctly, so I left Trevor and started texting Jon again, keeping in mind it's been three years since we last spoke. He also felt what I felt, saying he can never love another girl. I believe this statement to be more than just flattery since I have witnessed his friends making fun of him for saying he loves me and cuddling. Jon isn't known for that. After we started dating again, he tells me a rough estimate of how many girls he's slept with.

One of them is one of my known good friends.

She's a complete whore, since the tender age of twelve when she put a man away for statutory rape, and she'll admit she enjoys the cock a little too much. She was a funny little girl.

We aren't good friends any more.

I *almost* told Emily NOT to sleep with Jon, as a joke, when I saw her at college. I thought I would have been overreacting and it would have never been a possibility.

I've been crying for almost every night for the past six months Jon and I have been dating. Jon loves me, and I love Jon. It bothers him that there is something wrong with me that he doesn't know why. It bothers me that there isn't anything I can do about it.


I'm basically asking for suggestions. Is this something I should talk to him about? I can predict he'd be upset about it. I know he never wanted to or ever intends on hurting me, but with saying that, why would he sleep with my friend?

I'll be upset for the rest of the day because I wrote this and it's on my mind. But I really need feed back. I would appreciate it beyond belief.

[vashti]

You said for yourself that your friend is a whore. Why would you expect there to be any boundaries drawn between a whore and an unattached guy?

I think this is a big non-issue. Don't go making it into one.

[Hellfire]

.....No idea what the **** Gott was trying to say there...

He slept with your friend because it was a good idea at the time. He was aroused, she was aroused, they got it on...OVER! So damn over.

You need to LET GO! Enough of hanging onto this crap. He did this when he wasn't dating you...wasn't even talking to you. So let it go already if you really want to be with him.

Out of interest, how old are you both?

[alovehangoverr]

Wow, really? Crying every night for 6 months?

You need to grow up and get over this.

I'm sorry but it's been years since you've talked to this guy and so what if he slept with your friend? Single people are allowed to sleep together.

It sounds like you have some serious issues you need to work out.

[damn2008]

He was single and shes a whore...you weren't in the picture when they had sex so too bad. Nothing you can do about it. Just learn to move on from it.

[Gigabitch]

Listen to me Marla, and listen good. You're so ****ing lucky that he came clean to you about this. Appreciate it. Tell him it bothers you and talk it out- try to figure out exactly WHY it bothers you and explain it to him. Don't hide this shit until it festers into something unmanageable (and you're close- 6 months is too long to harbor a resentment like this).

So he had sex with one of your friends. So what? The important thing is that you can be confident that he's not going to have sex with her again and that you can trust him to be honest with you. Are these things in place? Then stop acting like a ****ing mess on wheels, because that will wear out even the most patient and understanding man on the planet.

Also, I feel I should mention another thing: you made a suicide attempt because of YOU, not because of Jon. Clear that up in your head right away. You have 100% of the responsibility for that act.