I have a problem that I can't really identify...

[lifesabitch]

I don't fall in love very quickly, but when I do, I fall hard. That is, until I actually attain the girl of my desire that I have been chasing. After awhile no matter who the girl is, once I get her:

A. I lose interest.
B. I feel like I want my own personal space back.
C. I get tired of doing things for them, even if an equal amount is done for me.
D. Things start seeming more habitual than romantic.
E. I stop enjoying sex/intimacy with that person as time goes on.

I don't know if the problem is that I just haven't found the right one yet, or if it's that I don't really know how to love someone. Any suggestions/ideas?

[Peter Pry]

Sounds like you're a pretty normal human being to me.

A. That's because your interest was in the chase, not the girl. You probably hardly even knew her. Shit, you "fell in love with her hard" before you even had her! It wasn't her you were in love with, genius! You fell in love with a fictional character.
B. We all need personal space, but you gave it up when you caught her. Don't give up things you need. A relationship should add to your life, not detract from it. Because it was the chase, not the girl, you gave her everything you had when you finally caught her and left nothing for yourself. Bad move.
C. A relationship is give and take... but you shouldn't be giving for the sake of giving. You should be giving because it comes naturally when you care for someone. So give as much as comes naturally and don't try too hard... or you'll resent it, as you've discovered.
D. Completely normal.
E. Completely normal, given A-D.

Relax. Enjoy time with yourself. Stop the chasing. A girl you're crazily hyperactively chasing is not likely to blossom into a healthy relationship. Don't expect to love someone before you know them. If you do, they'll break your heart every time.

[girl68]

It matters who the girl is... but I also think you do not know what real love is.

You want a girl just becasue you want A girl. You want a chase, you want the "butterflies" its like getting high for you. You just chase so that you have something to do, but once you get that something it loses value and fast. This is a big problem.

You get bored easily but you're also not trying hard enough. Relationships can get boring however you also need to put some work into it. Are you spicing things up? Are you taking action, planning dates, suggesting lingerie, games, toys, positions?

[lifesabitch]

It matters who the girl is... but I also think you do not know what real love is.

You want a girl just becasue you want A girl. You want a chase, you want the "butterflies" its like getting high for you. You just chase so that you have something to do, but once you get that something it loses value and fast. This is a big problem.

You get bored easily but you're also not trying hard enough. Relationships can get boring however you also need to put some work into it. Are you spicing things up? Are you taking action, planning dates, suggesting lingerie, games, toys, positions?

That's the thing. I don't necessarily get bored due to the relationship being boring. I'm always willing to spice things up and try new and exciting things. In fact, I can be really exciting in a relationship and give off the appearance that i'm having a great time while on the inside continually questioning whether I still want this girl. I don't know how to fix such a problem.

[NeoSeminole]

sucks to be you

[lhn]

I was soooo the same as u. Many many many relationships a few years back and after a few months I would just lose interest and get bored.
I absolutely 100% believe when you find someone who is right it changes things. My ex was the first relationship I was in when I was fully committed at all times and that commitment never waivered.

Before her though I had a few years with no relationship whatsoever. I think that affected me too... in positive ways.