Confused about an Older Guy

[someone3]

There is this guy that I’ve worked with for almost two yrs now. He is about 10 yrs older than me. We’ve only started talking much and hanging out the last maybe 6 mo. The thing is I don’t know if he likes me and am kinda unsure how much I really like him. He has a girlfriend that he mentions occasionally. But he does things like teases me, gives me friendly touches on the shoulders, asks me about myself, and slips in that I’m attractive sometimes in conversation… we even hung out on newyrs eve with a few other people but his girlfriend wasn’t there at all. I don’t see this ever being serious but I’m a little nervous about what I might get myself into and would feel better if I thought I had a better idea about what he’s thinking.

[girl68]

you're new, you're exciting and you're fun. he's probably going to cheat on his gf. you will be a dirty little secret.

[someone3]

the thing is, i'm not that kind of girl. but he acts mature, thoughtful and trustworthy..idk if it's true tho

[girl68]

mature, thoughtful and trustworthy men do not betray gf's and flirt with young females. you have been fooled.

[IncognitoSir]

mature, thoughtful and trustworthy men do not betray gf's and flirt with young females. you have been fooled.

you hit the nail on the head so to speak. This is classic ol skool game he's running on you. You think he;s soooo mature because he's 10 years your senior. Why would a guy who has a gf suggest how attractive you are? and flirt with you? This is where you would raise your red flag.

[shheadz]

I feel like you're confusing the situation by looking at his age. That's irrelevant. He's just a guy with a girlfriend that enjoys flirting with you a bit. That doesn't mean he's going to leave his girlfriend for you, or even cheat on his girlfriend with you. Treat it for what it is: A reasonably innocent office/friend flirtation.

[girl68]

Betcha gf at home would beg to differ on the "innocent office/ friend flirtation"

[someone3]

Thanks. i see your guys' points.

i guess i'm not real sure about his relationship status right now. he did have a gf but it was odd that she wasn't there on newyrs when he'd told me before he'd invited her. i haven't heard anything about her since.

does this change anything??

[girl68]

no. let the words "I don't have a gf" come out of his mouth.

Anything other than that you're just nit picking your way to making yourself feel okay about homewrecking.

[shheadz]

Betcha gf at home would beg to differ on the "innocent office/ friend flirtation"

Hhaha.. yeah. That's why I said reasonably innocent. He certainly crossed the line.

[girl68]

Hhaha.. yeah. That's why I said reasonably innocent. He certainly crossed the line.

Just make sure the OP realizes that sounds like she's trying to reason her way into making this "right".

[shheadz]

no. let the words "I don't have a gf" come out of his mouth.

Oh.. and until then, you shouldn't encourage this flirtation between you two.

[someone3]

kk. yeah, you're probly right. i was just trying to figure out the situation if the girlfriend was not in the picture.

[girl68]

wtf? ASK! geeze

[shheadz]

kk. yeah, you're probly right. i was just trying to figure out the situation if the girlfriend was not in the picture.

That's really a pretty boring, mundane kind of question to ask. "So, are you seeing anyone?" Shouldn't be too hard to ask.