The guy I like can't choose between me and another girl

[cantelope]

I have been going out with a guy for about 4 months now. I recently found out that he has been going out with another girl too. When i found out, i told myself that i would not get involved with him anymore and that we would be strictly friends. It may look like he's just a player who wants to date a lot of girls but he is a really good guy and is upset at the situation too. He really doesn't know who to choose. However, i've been crushing on him for so long that i can't get over him.

BTW, the other girl has a boyfriend. All his friends are telling him to pick me. If both of those factors aren't enough to convince him then that is a huge red flag for me.

He's still deciding which girl to choose but regardless of whoever he chooses, i still shouldn't get involved with him...right?

Our Sadie Hawkins dance is coming up. His friends are insisting that i ask him but i would feel too weird asking him to a dance because he likes another girl. His friends say that he expects me to ask him but i really don't know if that's a good idea.

Should i confront him and tell him that it's never going to work because i'll always know that he had to pick between me and another girl so he should just pick the other girl? I don't want to have this talk because i dont want things to become awkward. I tried ignoring him but it's hard because despite everything, i don't want him to stop liking me...

[lonelyhamster]

If you start another relationship with this person, chances are he will get involved with yet another girl. Especially since he has already done it once.

So my advice? Tell him to go after the other girl and try to get over him. And if you can't do that, by all means ask him to the dance...but be SURE to talk to him about this! If you don't you won't be able to have a lasting relationship

[tufty]

take the decision out of his hands - YOU make the decision about if HE is good enough for YOU, not the other way round - once you have made it clear you will NEVER EVER play second fiddle to anyone - then and only then will he realise you are not a pushover, no man spends any amount of long term time with someone they think they can mess about with.

Let him no, in clear concise english, that his behaviour is atrocious and under no circumstances will you belittle yourself to such an extent for any man, no matter what your feelings are for them.

Once he realises your not a doormat he may well respect you even more, he should admire your self-confidence, and more than likely start seeing you as an equal not a fricken toy.

It doesnt matter how 'nice' he is - nice boys playing badly are just as bad as bad boys.

You have invested 4 months into him, and he met someone else [someone unattainable it seems]. Once you take a stand not only will you feel more in control, you might just sway him, a guy likes a chase, he needs to be shown you wont be around to 'play nice'.

Men who 'don't know what to do', need to be tols/shown what they can and can't do.

He can't do this - make him see that - end off

He will probs start chasing you again anyways, men are weirdos!!! Lovely, sexy, heart fluttering, belly churning fricken weirdos!!

[VincenzoG91]

I'm always suspicious when somebody claims to have a hard time choosing between lovers. The longer they take to decide, the longer they get to enjoy the company of both. The fact that the other girl already has a boyfriend should be sufficient for him to move on, but he won't. Don't be a spare tire in the trunk for him, take care of yourself by dumping him and moving on.