Politely make him go away!

[Heratriumphant]

As some of you may remember I came here a few months ago trying to understand and deal with being dumped.

I did the no contact thing for a while, then broke it for "the closure talk." A the time I felt pretty good about it and it helped me to start moving on.

Since the break up I've moved to a new city, reconnected with old friends and am indulging in a hot, no drama, rebound fling. Life is good.

The problem is my ex keeps calling me every couple of weeks to "catch up."

I've tried not answering. He calls back. I've tried just boring the hell out of him, he's too boring and self absorbed to notice. I've tried explaining that I've moved on, he insists that we've always been friends and he still wants to know how I'm doing.

I don't want to get nasty with the guy (even though he dumped me), I'm just at a loss!

I dont even care why he keeps calling me I'd just like him to stop. I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to be a bitch, But you all were right life is too short to waste on Homer Simpsons!

How do I politely get him to stop calling?

[Dogtoast]

You need to be more firm with the guy. If you've already told him you've moved on, maybe you need to tell him that you don't want to be friends with him....and be firm about it. Hopefully you wont have to resort to being an jerk when telling him, but if he doesnt listen then he'll have to get over you being mean.

[Jagster1]

Next time he calls just say "Look, I just don't think being together will ever work out for us. I've moved on. There's other fish in the sea who're just like me." Meh... usually it works... usually you gotta adjust it to where you're comfortable of saying it.

[Tallgeese]

there is no polite way to make your dumper leave you alone. People like him need to be told like animals. You have to rolll up a newspaper and hit him on the nose and say "No Carl!"

[LailaK]

It's not like you're trying to salvage anything with him. In this situation, there's nothing wrong with being a bitch if he doesn't take you seriously when you're nice.

[lhn]

Firstly, Gratz on moving on

I remember your original post and it's good to hear things have settles down for you and you're involved in a healthy rebound relationship.

Tell him you don't think the 'friends thing' can work with all your history etc and that it makes you uncomfortable to keep chatting. He can't really come back from that and it's not too harsh. Explain it in a calm way and don't accept anything he has to say when he comes back with "yeah, but I still want to know you're ok" etc etc.

Do what women do best, Put your foot down!!

[sookie6]

Firstly, Gratz on moving on

I remember your original post and it's good to hear things have settles down for you and you're involved in a healthy rebound relationship.

Let's just have a minute of silence here for the rebound guy who we will probably open a thread very soon 'Help I was the rebound guy!!!'.

[starbuck]

I would explain to him that you think it's best that you don't have a friendship with him and that you'd like to move on completely. And that means no contact.

If he starts asking for the whys, just repeat yourself over and over using the exact same words as above. You don't owe him any more explanations. It is not your fault that the "closure" didn't close things for him.

If he still doesn't get the hint, can you block his number somehow?

When I had an ex like this, I changed my ex's name on my phone to "DO NOT ANSWER", and if he left messages for me, I'd delete them before even listening. After a while he gave up.

[Gigabitch]

I've tried explaining that I've moved on, he insists that we've always been friends and he still wants to know how I'm doing.

So it's now your responsibility to ensure that he doesn't feel bad about dumping you? Oh, hell no.

Look, he is not in a position to "insist" that you stay friends. He is in a position to piss off, and if he doesn't have the good grace to see that after dumping you he should leave you alone, he's a narcissist and a ****wit.

I understand that you are a lady of great personal composure and you don't want to stoop to the level of some scorned harridan, screeching at him to **** off, but really, Hera, this is exactly what he deserves.

Get your hot fling man to answer the phone the next time.

[Heratriumphant]

My inner bitch (who I try to keep under wraps for the good of humanity) really wants to say "oh so we're friends?" and dive into the most outrageous girl talk/gossip about my new lover's huge penis.

Sadly I lack the brass ovaries (and the sadistic streak) it would take to do this.

Thank you all I guess I am going to have to take the inner bitch off her leash for a few minutes, though I really hate it when someone won't take a polite hint (or a dozen).

[Gigabitch]

You are so lucky that this fool broke up with you. He sounds like an anchor that could have been tied around your neck forever. He's a cling-on! He's a dingelberry!