I feel like I cheated :(

[isay]

Hello to all,

I'll make it short.

My bf and I have been together for 3 years. 2 years ago I met this guy at work.. He liked me and I guess I liked the attention. We never went beyond sending each other short flirty emails "you look nice today" "How come you didn't come to work? I missed you" bla bla... He knew I had a bf and I told him I couldn't hang out because I was happy with my bf and there was no reason for us to hang out. I told him I only wanted to be friends and he was okay with it but kept trying to flirt with me- I told him we couldn't talk anymore and we haven't ever since then...(I briefly talked to my bf about it but didn't tell him I flirted too) but today I was deleting old emails and came across one that reminded me of how stupid I was to lead someone on while in a relationship with my boyfriend. I regret doing this and feel guilty about it even though it never went beyond words (non sexual but flirty)

Sometimes I feel like talking to my bf about it because it still bothers me. I don't want to hide anything from him and wouldn't like for him to find out through someone else. I don't think he would since I know this guy is over it and doesn't seem to care anymore but who knows. I know I was wrong. I'm glad I was smart enough to end this before it got any further but I feel stupid for having talked to this guy while in a relationship with the most amazing guy in my life. At the time this happened my bf and I were living in different cities and we weren't as close as now but there's no excuse.

[vashti]

I'm not sure what you feel guilty about... you didn't DO anything. It is normal to be attracted to people, even if you are involved in a stable relationship, and you will undoubtedly experience this many times in your life. You handled yourself correctly by cutting him off when you thought he might want to progress things beyond harmless flirting.

If you tell your boyfriend about this, I can't really imagine how any good could come of it. Do you WANT him to feel insecure? I think you should just let it go.

[sookie6]

Yes I am not into 'we should tell each other EVERYTHING'

I would not even call what you did emotional cheating since you have remained within the borderlines of a harmless flirt.

I understand why you feel bad about this. You might be thinking that you would not like your bf to behave this way...but you know we're not perfect and sometimes it feels nice to feel desired by someone else.

Plus some experiences (like this one) help straighten the relationship we're in.

I think it becomes emotional cheating when you let things develop, start exchanging txts and phone calls + when you start spending more time with the person than your boyfriend (some people develop a whole affair just online you know!)...