Pretty confused & in need of advice!

[princezna55]

Hey everyone...I'm new here...but I am in desperate need of advice from people outside of my situation! I'm gonna try to keep this as short as I can...I'm sorry if it runs away from me!

Last Saturday my best girlfriend and I went for a night out at our normal lounge, just to hang out. I was the designated driver so I wasn't drinking, but I couldn't help but notice how attractive the bartender was, who I'd never seen before. He was definitely the hottest guy I'd ever seen, and I kept trying to steal little glances at him. He kept helping her, and finally, when she went to close her tab, he decided to make a move and talk to me. After a while of chatting he gave me his number, saying that he knew he definitely wanted to see me again, so if I wanted to see him, it was in my court. I texted him the next afternoon on my way to a quick roadtrip, just to say hi. Every day since, he's initiated contact first.

Thursday (4/8) me and my other best girlfriend took out our two out-of-town friends. While we were out, he texted me (it was too loud to talk on the phone) to see if I wanted to come hang out with him at the place we originally met. (His best friend/roomate is the manager and he had just stopped by to hang out - he was ready to leave when I said sure, I'd come meet him.) We'd been talking all day, so it wasn't just random and out of the blue. As soon as he saw me he practically lit up and hugged me. We introduced each other to our friends, and then it was like we were inseparable! The physical attraction is definitely there, but I felt something MUCH deeper, and much more different than any guy I've ever met. We were both sober (both driving) and he and I just couldn't separate from each other. When I came back from the bathroom, he was talking to my girlfriends and didn't see me behind him. My one girlfriend, who is French, was joking around saying I was the sexiest American, and he said to her he thought I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever met. When he saw I was there, he started blushing! He also asked when he could see me again, and asked if I was free Saturday (today) and I said I was, but we never made definitely plans. Later, before I left, he kissed me and I swear, I couldn't breathe or even stand! It was unlike anything ever before. He even told me that he told his boss at work (his day job) about me on Monday, right after we met!

Yesterday (4/9) he asked what I was up to that night, and if I was in the area maybe I could stop by his work. He bartends once a week in addition to his day job in insurance (he's 26, I'm 21). My girlfriends decided it would be a good time, so we went without telling him. We went over to the bar and once he saw us, he absolutely lit up. He even pulled me close, close enough to just barely avoid kissing me, and stayed like that with me for a while. Of course it was very hectic, but I would always catch him staring at me when he had a free moment. I would smile at him and he would smile back and look a little shy. He invited us to hang out after hours, so we did. He pulled me aside and again asked what my plans were for Saturday, and if I was free. I told him I was, but his coworker pulled him away before anything else could be said. We ended up leaving early since he was very busy. Today he texted me saying how bad he felt he couldn't stay with me, etc.

I guess I am a little confused - I feel like he's into me, but I'm not sure why he'd keep asking if I was free tonight, and then not make plans with me. Is he actually into me? I've been burned soo many times that I'm just so weary of guys.In the past few years I've gone through a few horrific experiences, and even though I've dated guys, I have never felt this way about anyone I've ever met. I know it's like the whole lust period, but I swear it's different, but I just can't put it into words. There's such a strong attraction that it's making me so impatient! I decided that if we don't have plans for next weekend by the middle of the week, I'm going to ask. I just can't let him pass me by, just sitting back and waiting for him. Is that going to turn him off? I just don't want to seem clingy, or pushy, or needy...I just want to see him! Is this guy into me? And if he is soo amazing, like I think he is right now, and so good looking, how is he still single?! Please...anything that can help me clear up my confusion will help!

[Trish]

Hi Princezna. From what you've said it does sound like hes definately into you. You've only just started your relationship. He may be trying to not rush you. He may have also been burned and is being cautious. Let your relationship develop at its own pace. It sounds like you've started off very well. Just have patience and give it time.