Ladies, what do I do?

[Tech]

After months of tireless efforts, I finally got, which I believe, a gorgeous woman's attention on to me.

we just had our first date. was very nice. great figure in my opinion, and a delightful evening along with conversation.

she kissed me, held hands etc... etc... - was a shock to me for many reasons but yes, it was great. after dinner we went by the riverside/lake and watched the sunset together, think we spent about 4 hours together overall.

she said she wanted to meet up again which is good but not sure if she meant it to be nice or something?

we met on a website and saw her back on there again, which didnt make sense to me.

I asked her point blank during our evening together what she thinks of me and says that she cannot think of anything bad at all and that is the truth and I could tell it was the truth by the body language but also by her smile and the way she looks at me.

I said to her that she doesnt have to stay anymore than she has to in that, if she doesnt like me then its ok, i understand and she can go at anytime. she said that it isnt true and that if she didnt like me, then she wouldnt have been spending the extra time after dinner with me, so that was nice to hear (never had that before)

of course, as always, ive been respectful. i dont grope or grab or touch or anything of that nature. she came into my arms as she was feeling cold, and she kissed me also, and of course, I paid compliments.

now, i really want this lady - what can I do to make this "work"?
why would she be going back on the website if she liked me, kissed me, spent "extra" time with me and said that she wanted to meet up again?

she has a kid, which does not bother me at all. so im confused......

[VincenzoG91]

Don't sabotage yourself with doubt. Be confident, or at least hide your worries behind a smile. Women are attracted to confidence. It sounds like this woman is genuinely attracted to you, so stop worrying so much. You didn't say what website, but in context it sounds like a dating website. Until she is sure about you, she may also meet some other guys from the site, and she may end up liking one of them more. All you can do is be yourself and also be confident. She wouldn't have gone out with you if she wasn't interested, and she ended up in your arms because she really likes you, not because she was "feeling cold." I'm not saying that she was lying about it, just that she needed a reason to justify that kind of closeness so soon.

[xxazurexx]

You have only had one date. It's a little too early to expect her to committ to you solely and delete her internet profiles.

Besides, if you saw her on this dating website, then you are obviously still on this website yourself

[sookie6]

Just like Vincenzo I'd say focus on remaining relaxed and cool about dating...you need to understand that if you start communicating your doubts and come accross as too keen she might translate that into a potential clingy and needy behaviour, which is exactly what a woman wants to avoid especially if she has already one child to worry about

You stated that she is a beautiful woman...it is then very possible that she has a stron fan base on the website you met...so she is dating...my understanding of dating is really to meet a few people and see what these people spark in you...it might be that you have another serious contender or none at all...for now you have no way to know and DON'T GO ASKING HER!!!!

You best option now is to keep dating her until you see more clearly where this is going...remain confident, keep your options open and do not grow too attached

[sookie6]

A

I asked her point blank during our evening together what she thinks of me and says that she cannot think of anything bad at all and that is the truth and I could tell it was the truth by the body language but also by her smile and the way she looks at me.

I said to her that she doesnt have to stay anymore than she has to in that, if she doesnt like me then its ok, i understand and she can go at anytime. she said that it isnt true and that if she didnt like me, then she wouldnt have been spending the extra time after dinner with me, so that was nice to hear (never had that before)

No more of this....just let the good times flow...make her laugh, be creative in your dates, and take care of her that's all...also good concersation is a must.

[Tech]

thanks and thats what I do/did but its a little unfair in a sense as I never get any chances..... and would expect to be focused upon rather than a string of other people at the same time.... would just confuse you and would show that really, there is no commitment.

[Tech]

i wish she would text me or something..... really excited about her.
she does have a silly phone though, she showed me. it takes her ages to write a text message as its not touch screen or has a keypad, its like a very very thin lipstick looking phone. but either way, still wish she would either call me or give me a text...... as much as I want to, im not going to which is silly but hey ho.... nothing i can do.

wish we could meet today though, she is on her own as the child is with her father this weekend. d'oh

[sookie6]

thanks and thats what I do/did but its a little unfair in a sense as I never get any chances..... and would expect to be focused upon rather than a string of other people at the same time.... would just confuse you and would show that really, there is no commitment.

One date does not grant you commtiment..;there is a looong road before commitment so don't rush it...

You seem to be really into this woman, be careful with this as at this point you cant even consider this a relationship...I understand that she is really attractive or that at least you think she is...but do no let this turn your head...she has a child...so stay grounded.

[Tech]

oh i know. ive had relationships where children have been involved! so i know that. im just curious to know if she likes me and wants to meet up again. she said so last night but not sure if she was just being nice or... if she wants to

[Tech]

well i got an email from her and im a guy that always makes the other person feel comfortable. im never intense and didnt feel myself intense last night, so not sure where it came from but this is what she said:

Hiya, how is your day? had a fun time last night and would be good to see you again x I hope you will chill though and realize that your a great person with a lot to give, to be honest you unnerve me a little being so intense and I find myself not wanting to say anything that could hurt you. xx

not sure if she has something to say to "hurt" me? I asked her last night, as she asked me, about what she thought of me and said all was good, nothing bad at all....

but anyway, so she says she wants to meet me again? really? What do you think?

[sookie6]

well i got an email from her and im a guy that always makes the other person feel comfortable. im never intense and didnt feel myself intense last night, so not sure where it came from but this is what she said:

Hiya, how is your day? had a fun time last night and would be good to see you again x I hope you will chill though and realize that your a great person with a lot to give, to be honest you unnerve me a little being so intense and I find myself not wanting to say anything that could hurt you. xx

not sure if she has something to say to "hurt" me? I asked her last night, as she asked me, about what she thought of me and said all was good, nothing bad at all....

but anyway, so she says she wants to meet me again? really? What do you think?

It just feels that you are looking for reassurance from someone you barealy know. During dates I don't think people should ever be too serious or too anxious..not good...dates are meant to be extremely light hearted and probing what the other thinks of you is like asking an employer what they think of you during an interview...it's just not how it should be done.

You probably came accross as this date was TOO important to you which should be avoided...hence her comment on you being too intense.

Do you see what I'm trying to say?

PS: the good news is that she wants to see you again so you have scored plenty anyway!!!

[Tech]

thanks.

it was actually important for me however it definately was relaxed plus she took the lead and i was a gent...

dont want it to end after date two or be strung along

[Charisma]

it can be relaxed but intense as well.

I went on a date with a guy who lived quite a bit from me (ok, so it was from a dating site/msn.), that he had to get the train to see me in town. We went to the cinema, but because we had half an hour to kill we had a *cheap* nacos thing-which we didn't have time to finish - and watched the film, then had a drink, then he had to get the train. I don't feel like there was much opportunity to chat and ask questions and joke, and I know a lot of times I was drawing a blank on what to talk about(funny how I never realised on msn that we didn't have much in common).

Few days later he wanted a 2nd date, for me to come to his flat overnight. And said stuff about what would I do if I thought a relationship was worth pursuing, would you give up uni and stuff for it. I was like :S :S :S :S

I'll admit that the girl you met with seemed to have a far better time than I did on my date, but the fact he thought more about it than I did made it scary. I was cowardly enough to tell him a lie, but simply because it was one he couldn't argue or convince me out of. If I said *I don't feel like we're gonna work out* then I'd have had to have discussed why, and possibly been talked out of it out of pity/feeling uncomfortable hurting someone.

[Tech]

thanks.

there defo was no silence or awkwardness st any point. we spoke for hours, and she kissed me a couple of times and came in my arms. we are not all perfect......

[Tech]

hmm. got a text message from her, days after - no call or anything but she can go on the site and do what she likes..... so why even think of me?

"just to say hi, hope you are ok? x"

?? just to say hi? or maybe she was bored when she sent the text.....