Girlfriend's Mindset

[guitarmannn]

Hey guys (or girls should I say..?),

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and we're both 18 and both virgins. We have been perfect: never fight, spend a ton of time together, and really trust each other.

As far as what happens after hours, it was a gradual thing and I never have pressured her into anything, and she has done everything under her own will. We have done pretty much everything there is to do without actually doing 'it', and she seems pretty comfortable doing this stuff.

We don't really talk about what we do and it just kinda happens. We are in different countries right now, but still talk every day. The other night I mentioned that I was gonna go take a bath, and the topic of her taking a bath with me came up, and she said that she wasn't sure if she would bathe with me. I'm just really confused because we do so much together but this came as a kinda shock to me; the fact that she would be hesitant to.

I know this doesn't seem major, but I really just wanna understand the mindset of why she wouldn't or like why it would be a big deal?? Do you know what I mean? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

[Mathias]

Have you asked her?

[guitarmannn]

Have you asked her?

Yes, and she said it depends on how comfortable she would feel at the time. I mean I've seen her fully unclothed before so I'm not sure if she felt uncomfortable with it and just didn't wanna say anything about it?

[girl68]

Becasue bathing can be very intimate, and honestly gross potentially- you're sitting, soacking in your own filth. Some people don't like showering OR bathing with their partners no matter what the circumstances are. My ex was one of them. Shower/ bath time for him was ALWAYS alone time.

[Gigabitch]

Does she mean she wouldn't want to do all of the intimate scrubbing of various cracks and crevices that takes place in a private bath or shower with you standing right there? I think that makes sense. It could get a little awkward. I like joining my husband in the shower after he's had a little time to himself to do those things, then stay longer, after he gets out, to do them myself. It could just be that.

As far as taking an actual bath goes, it's wonderful with company.

[doppelgaenger]

^^ What gigabitch says. This is what we do. It's good to have a little privacy to squidgy out your buttcrack.

[guitarmannn]

See I don't think that it is the whole cleaning aspect of it, I just don't think she is comfortable with the whole unclothed part of it.

I wonder if the results would be the same if I said skinny dipping rather than bathing? I'm the only guy she's ever been with so I'm not sure if its the whole getting used it thing.

GAH! Why does your gender have to be so confusing!!!

[girl68]

why the hell are you confused it's odd that you think this is some huge deal or something.

[phys251]

Hey guys (or girls should I say..?),

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and we're both 18 and both virgins. We have been perfect: never fight, spend a ton of time together, and really trust each other.

As far as what happens after hours, it was a gradual thing and I never have pressured her into anything, and she has done everything under her own will. We have done pretty much everything there is to do without actually doing 'it', and she seems pretty comfortable doing this stuff.

We don't really talk about what we do and it just kinda happens. We are in different countries right now, but still talk every day. The other night I mentioned that I was gonna go take a bath, and the topic of her taking a bath with me came up, and she said that she wasn't sure if she would bathe with me. I'm just really confused because we do so much together but this came as a kinda shock to me; the fact that she would be hesitant to.

I know this doesn't seem major, but I really just wanna understand the mindset of why she wouldn't or like why it would be a big deal?? Do you know what I mean? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

No no no no she's not blowing you off. Just give her time, this is a BIG step for her, one she has to feel absolutely safe about taking. Pressuring her would just backfire.

[guitarmannn]

Ok so this whole bath thing has now became a giant metaphor for sex. We just talked for a few hours about it, and she says she just isn't ready.

She says that she really wishes she was ready because she knows I want to and she wants to make me happy, but she just isn't ready. I'm not the kinda guy who's gonna dump her cause of it obviously, but how long am I gonna have to wait? Idk i guess I just don't see the huge difference between what we have been doing and what we could be doing. I'm absolutely not gonna pressure her and she knows that I respect her far too much to make her do anything she isn't ready for, but I guess its just a time game now and I'm willing to play.

[phys251]

Just give her time. I know you wanna do it, there's nothing wrong with that, but don't don't don't pressure her into it. If she comes around and chooses to bathe with you or even have sex with you, it'll that be that much greater. Just enjoy what you both have for now and leave the rest to fate.

Remember, she's a virgin too, and this is a BIG deal to her. As in, she's going to be giving away a part of her self. That's a big step for a girl to take.

[guitarmannn]

Yeah I can see how waiting is going to make it so much more meaningful, and I hope it happens, I just don't wanna have to wait too too long :/