Advice needed - Should I just forget about it?

[Mikeg542]

So to start off with, I'm somewhat of a shy guy with a not very good idea of relationship stuff (and I'm 21) as I've only had 1 relationship and the fact that it was long term makes me feel that it greatly biases how I deal with these things.
Also, said long term relationship was one of those soul crusher ones where I still loved her and she...well, didn't. However, its been a few months now and I'm hoping to just move on and forget about all the crap that went down with that one.

So here's my story (I feel dumb posting it, because I don't think this sort of thing should still matter at this age, but I guess the anonymity of the internet is a plus).

So in high school, there was this girl (there always is). She was in the year below me because I skipped grade 5, yet she just had that look that caused me to get a nice big crush on her. She wasn't one of those super hot model types, more like someone you'd call pretty. Anyways, as I mentioned in another post, I was super shy in those days and really had like 3 friends in my entire first 3 years of high school (thankfully, they were really good friends and I don't regret that), and thus never interacted with her in any way shape or form in those years.

Being smart enough to know that a crush is nothing but, I assumed it would just go away so I could stop caring about it, but things never work out so easy for me and it has remained to this day (even during my long term relationship), and I know this because she ended up at the same university and when I saw her there the familiar adrenaline rush was still there.

I've had short conversations with her twice in my life (both in my second time around in grade 12), and they did nothing but make my previous feelings being vindicated. I was pretty awkward at that time and I don't feel that she remembers me in any way.

So I'm sure you've all come to the conclusion of what my advice asked for is:
My school has 20,000 people in it. I've seen her ONCE in 2 years on campus. Is there anything worth pursuing here? Should I just forget about it and realize im just being silly? (A crush of SIX years is pretty silly) If it should be pursued, is there anyway of doing so without being a creepy stalker? (I've never made any attempts to be stalkerish and I won't.)

Thanks for any advice.
Ugh

[Matt04]

Ok the difference between love and a crush is mainly that a crush only usually lasts up to a year for a person and then the feelings go away. But six years? That is not a crush man. That is love. That is a love at first site thing. I would talk to her and gentely get into the talk with her about your feelings. You don't want to say you love her right off the bat. She'll scream and run and totally think your a stalker like you said.

[kitkitkitty]

Ok the difference between love and a crush is mainly that a crush only usually lasts up to a year for a person and then the feelings go away. But six years? That is not a crush man. That is love. That is a love at first site thing. I would talk to her and gentely get into the talk with her about your feelings. You don't want to say you love her right off the bat. She'll scream and run and totally think your a stalker like you said.

a 'crush' can last as long as it wants. love is something that happens progressively over time between 2 people that actually talk. you're probably thinking of infactuation. Mikeg542 to answer you question... it's a tricky one but i think that you should try to meet up with her as a friend and have a chat. i know you've liked her for a long time but you can't jump the gun. you've been admiring her but you don't seem to know her personality, which is why i think you need to get to know her in that way and by talking. you may realise that she's not all that she cracked up to be. if she is, suggest going out again.. do you have common interests? if it makes it easier, talk to her through facebook [you both have it?] and say that you're on the same campus but never see each other! start having a chat over that, find some common ground and ask if she wants to meet up.

[lahnnabell]

Careful with this because you are on the rebound right now. Don't attempt to get involved with someone seriously if you're still hurting over an ex, unless you're able to be upfront about where you're at. It couldn't hurt to look this girl up and see what she's got going on. Keep it casual for now though and test the waters.

[Mikeg542]

Careful with this because you are on the rebound right now. Don't attempt to get involved with someone seriously if you're still hurting over an ex, unless you're able to be upfront about where you're at. It couldn't hurt to look this girl up and see what she's got going on. Keep it casual for now though and test the waters.

I appreciate this comment a lot and gave it a good amount of thought. I am pretty sure that I am beyond that stage now and can get back to the regularly scheduled programming that is my life.

@Matt04: I know where you're coming from and it would be pleasing to have further interaction and see if there may be something to build upon.
And for those who may have considered it, no, there is no lust aspect. I have no desire or want of immediate sexual contact and frankly prefer that to wait a bit in any of my relationships. The emotional and mental side is much more important to me.

It is infatuation, I'm well aware. And I very much wish it would go away. I don't know if she would have any interest and I don't want to do something rash and make everyone uncomfortable and regret it for a few years.

As a note (though it may be the most important part): I added her on FB a few days ago. She hasn't accepted it, yet has been online (as a change in DP notice popped up on my wall). I can't think of any way to make this any better for myself so I probably will just have to forget it

[twerto]

ahh it's the one's that are "pretty" but not super model hot we always fall in love with.

Why the **** wouldn't you go for it? You've got nothing to lose. If she says no, so what? There's 200000 other people, no one gives a crap. But if she says yes...

Seriously just talk to her. A crush since high school? This has the makings of a great romantic comedy. Just don't be needy.

[Mikeg542]

I want to go for it! To see where it could go if nothing else. I'm not scared of a no as it wouldn't be any different then the situation Im in right now. The main situation that I am having is finding a non creepy way of initiating conversation.

As you can see above I added her to facebook and she hasn't accepted or declined the request (yet has clearly been online by her profile pic change that was mentioned in my wall feed). As well, it's apparently scoially unacceptable to just start talking to someone through facebook and we both live in a city of >2 million people (making a chance encounter very unlikely). That's my conoudrum and most likely why ill have to give up, no matter how much I don't want to.