I need clarity

[RicoGomez]

Recently i have just ended a 7 month relationship with a girl who i know for a fact i fell in love with and its been really rough these past two months heres the whole story and please tell me what you all think on what i should do or just about the whole situation in general. This is a long story so plz bear with me here haha.


So after the break up with my second gf i kinda was in a really depressed state cuz i had a second girlfriend leave me because of another guy which kinda a hurt and so from then on one of my friends from the musical, a best friend of the girl, she offered me to join them at lunch more often as a way to help me distract myself. From then on i hung out with them for a a bit and got involved with many drama related things such as a haunted house that was going to be put on before Halloween. it was during this time I had found out the girl had broken up with the one guy from the musical because he was being a jerk and selfish at every turn. The very moment i heard the words that they were not dating anymore OH LORDY LORDY i jumped on the wagon and rode my way on over to her. She was an officer fot eh drama department so she had to work a lot on the haunted house and because they needed volunteers i jumped right in and did everything i could to help form making posters, setting things up at the site, doing a lot more work than a volunteer needed to do anything i could possibly think of to get close to this girl more. Thankfully i was getting to be good friends with one of her best friends so i could pull the whole lets talk with her friends to see who she likes and maybe she likes me so i can ask her out.

Okay so the day that her friend was gonna ask her if she liked me, all freakin day i was anxious about what was going to be said, was she gonna say yes was she gonna say no blah blah blah, so as soon as school ended and before we headed out to the site to work on the attraction i find her friend and ask her SO WHAT DID SHE SAY!…all she told me was go ask her out right now and i can assure you she will say. Before i did i asked her what did ya’ll say and she explained how she asked if she liked me and she responded in a very embarrassed cutesy face way yes and then she asked what if he asked you out and the girl reacted in what i find the funniest way. She turned bright red and walked away really quickly from them. So as soon as i found that out i found her before we headed out and i asked her out. She had this cute face when i asked her and when she responded with a yes. that was one of the happiest moments of my life cuz i got with the girl of my dreams right there. So from then on we started dating. We came up with this pet name for the both of us cuz i had brought it up on her birthday. The picture was one character telling another that did they know that when a penguin has found its mate the stay together forever. Then there was a pause, and then the other character asks the other if they would be their penguin.

On her birthday i wrote her a card and in it i stated the same fact the one character said and at the end i asked her if she would be my penguin. She smiled and told me yes immediately. It literally made my day. from then on every single month on our anniversary i would ask her the very same question and she would respond with a yes and sometimes say a little more. That is when we got connected more. I can both remember and have the message still saved on my phone when she first told me, ” I love you and only want you”…it was November 24th 2009 just before thanksgiving. I gave thanks for having a girlfriend who i knew at that very moment cared so much about me and and someone who i could really give my heart to. Thre were some road bumps now an again like religion wise my mom actually getting all ehh because she was a bit uncomfortable that she was wiccan while we are Catholic Christians so we had to work about that and i explained to her that i dont care what she believes in because it doesnt affect who she is as a person. but lie was good i was so happy with her, i would always tell her good morning when i woke up told her good night and would always ask how her day was. I did my very best to make her feel special and important. When Prom time came around i wanted to find the perfect way to tell her i loved her and that i was IN love with her. Too not spoil the surprise i’ll explain the night of prom. So after a bit of hanging out with everyone i st my plan in motion. After our frist dance together at another school dance it came about that we have a song for us. The song is Im Yours by Jason Mraz. So back to prom, so i asked the DJ to please play this song after he was saying he couldnt because he was asked not to play any slow songs, i convinced him otherwise after i explained my situation. So minutes later the song starts playing and she looks at me with such a smile that i took her by the hand and danced with her. After the song i set the next part of my plan into work, i took her outside and sat with her away from everyone.

Out of my pocket i pulled out a ring. This ring was a promise ring, a promise that she would be the only girl i loved and she would be only girl i wanted to be with, i flat out told her that i had fallen in love with her. I also promised her that even though i was graduating that i would do everything i could to see her and to be with her because i cared for her that much that i would do anything to be with her. She looked at me in shock and with a speechless expression. She looked at me and kissed me and when she pulled away she said she would always be my penguin that she would do everything she could to be with me too. I knew right then that this would be the girl i could spend a lot of my life with, because never in my life had i ever been as happy as i was than when i was with her, the reason i loved waking up in the morning and the last thought before i go to sleep. This is where the sad part begins…a week after school ends i get a message from her and its a break up letter. The short story is that we decided to take a break. That maybe after shes done with high school that we would possibly get back together seeing how we feel still. im thinking its because she was sad and hurting at the thought of me not being around as much because im not there like before and that she may have felt that if shes in that state a lot of the time shes going to get distracted and not be herself anymore. Im figureing if we stay on this break and stick as really close friends than she almost has this placebo effect where she wont feel that missing feeling cuz we arent dating. So MY heart right now is trapped in time because it will be 1 year before i see we see if our love was something more than a high school love and if our love is something that is so true. So even though im currently on the transition of being just really close friends i can always now she care about me and vice versa. we may not be dating right now but she is still an important part of my life. i do hope that we d get back together though because i believe this is something that is real. So over time i began having these reoccurring dreams where i would dreams about her and every time i would tell how i would feel and such and everything would be perfect, but soon after i would wake up from the dreams sad because it was only a dream. I had this dream for over a month and i began to feel it was telling me to actually tell her how i really felt since i didnt before we broke up.

I decided to message brittany one night by first just randomly sending this…@->–…..really what its supposed to be is a rose sideways. from there on we talked about how our weekends were from me staying up late every night eating chips and dip and playing cards to her getting a new haircut to me finally telling her everything. I told her i wanted to get back together with her, that after reading what she wrote to me a few days before when she said how she was missing me and having dreams and getting reminded of me so much as much as i did about her i had this feeling inside of me that told me i didnt need a whole year to tell me how much i was in love with her and that these couple months was enough for me to know for a fact that i was in love with this girl. I figured at the same time while writing this message that i knew she most likely wasnt ready to get back together with me but i sent it anyway. So i got a response from her and she told me she couldnt tell what was going on in her heart or with her feelings because theres just been so much going on that she cant think of anything straight and is so overwhelmed by stuff that she still needs time alone. I completely understand her thought and i respect the fact that she needs time for herself because shes having a rough time. i know she having a rough time lately going back to school and some other stuff, but to make it clear to you all im not mad at her or anything not at all, im a bit upset that my plan didnt work out with what i told her, but im more mad and pissed off at life itself. 2 weeks later which was this past friday we finally talked again since i told her what i did and it aws just simple talk....

so i just want to know what do ya'll think about this...should i wait for her?

[nerdy_guy]

A lot of people here also need clarity from a wall of text

[kitkitkitty]

A lot of people here also need clarity from a wall of text

at one point my screen was covered in an array of letters.

[nerdy_guy]

at one point my screen was covered in an array of letters.

Good thing you didn't reset your PC, thinking the OS started a memory dump

[RicoGomez]

gees thx guyz -_-....because the point of that typing was so you can see how long my story was.....

[IncognitoSir]

gees thx guyz -_-....because the point of that typing was so you can see how long my story was.....

But our point is, no one wants to read a wall of texts........paragraphs will get you a long way on this forum.

[RicoGomez]

well there it is some seperation

[nerdy_guy]

well there it is some seperation

That amounts to a small crack on the wall. But still a wall nonetheless

[RicoGomez]

can i just please get help i really dont care bout the dumb longness of it....thats not the point here...

[nerdy_guy]

Okay penguin boy, when you go to college (assuming you don't get carried away by college women), you need to put on a lot of effort to see her. It would require a lot of resources if your school is far away from her so think about this. You have to be constant with your actions, but you shouldn't be suffocating her either. Eventually, you'll know if its all worth it, either she will tell you to let go, or if it becomes too much of an effort to you, you might be the one to do so.

[RicoGomez]

convientely im sitll in town for college and its like 5 miles to the school and we still live near each other cuz we are in the same neighborhood

[nerdy_guy]

So go visit her every chance you get, not unless she tells you otherwise. Bottom line is, be consistent, and let your presence be felt.