Still in Love Trying to Move On...

[mbear]

I have been in love with the same guy now for 5 years. We are both 25 now...sure I may be a little old to be
talking on here? I'm new so I don't know the age range haha

We dated for a short while 5 years ago...I never told him how I truly felt due to him hurting me before I could.

and to this day i don't feel he deserves to hear it from me still.

We both never went far with the relationship because we both did not want long distance. We live 3 hours away
from each other. In these 5 years, I have tried to have very little contact with him...but being in the same sports its
sometimes difficult. He has told my friend that he feels bad about what he did, but has never came to me personally to
say it, or apologize in any way. I can sense him always trying to talk to me if i am around. He usually makes the effort
once he realizes i won't. He would text me late at night before he went to bed saying hi, making small chat. But
when he started dating other girls, I would either mention his girlfriend or ignore him.

He hasn't done it with his new girlfriend now...but word got around that I might move there due to my career, and he immediately started trying to give me ideas on the cost of living there. Finding condos, talking to his real estate friends, clients of his through work, etc.

When that plan was halted due my change of plans, he asked me if i was moving there or not...i said i had no reason to
move there right now...i asked him why he was so anxious to know about me living there...his response was because there
would be no drama if i lived there. There is a lot of drama with our group of friends, one thing him and I have in common
is not wanting anything to do with that kind of stuff.

I do recall him saying that if i lived in there or if he lived here,
5 years ago, he would be with me in a heartbeat. But what makes me really upset is he continues to try and keep in contact
with me as a "Friend" i guess, making sure he remembers my birthday every year, making sure he reminds me he remembers
things about me, etc. But yet his new gf lives 7 hours drive away from him, and yet he won't be with me.

I know a lot of people
would say "he's keeping you on the back burner" but, I continue to not give him the time of day, and he keeps trying to keep up
to date with my life, or keep some sort of friendship with me. Even 5 years later. Sure he may still really care...but why do I get the feeling that if
I lived in his city today, he would drop everything for me...its the impression i get....and dont get me wrong...i'd never move there for him. its just a re-occuring thought i keep having. I think about him all the time, but don't contact him ever. he does
it all. How do I get over him? i've been trying for so many years, but know love never leaves...but i think you understand what i mean...

Maybe he truly still wants to be with me, and still has deep feelings for me but doesn't admit it...due to him hurting me already, and because i'm not there at this very moment. or...maybe its nothing at all...

any feedback? its late i know....just can't sleep...needed to get it out of my mind...thanks for "listening" though...

[dg1021]

I think that in this whole ordeal, this guy still likes you on the inside but he is probably with other girls for the fact that he wants to fill that emptiness of not having you in his life, which is the reason why he is still trying to keep up with your life by remembering things about you and being excited about you moving there. I would say that if you have feelings for him that you should sit him down and be upfront with him on where the two of you stand feelings wise. In my opinion as a male, there has to be something he feels for you because he still is interested in your life even when you shun him away. Also, most males like the woman to be real and true with her feelings, so let him know how you truly feel before its too late and if he doesn't really feel that way for you then that would be enough reason to give up on him. There is no reason to keep chasing after something that is going nowhere, but everyone deserves a chance to explain themselves. I know that I would definitely want this. Hope this helps.

[mbear]

Thank you for your reply! Somehow I knew that would be suggested.
I know I should do that, I guess when the time comes
Again I'll have the chat. I'm sure if his feelings
Are true like you suggested, then this won't
Go anywhere without resolving it. Whether it be just
Friends or more in the end.