Truly I love her, But My Misunderstanding made a big gap

[jmohan]

hi Everyone!,

I am working at an office. The girl who is loving by me is also working at same office. Whenever I cross her working place, she looked at me. It continues for 3 days. I thought she looked at me casually. I left it. (Before I love her, I liked her character, discipline , beauty, kindness. and I behaved friendly with her.)

And then, She continues looking at me whenever I cross her for 1 month. After 1 month I asked her that Are u loving me? . she denied. And she said, hereafter I wont look at u. I accepted.

And then, Also she continues looking at me whenever I cross her. She smiled and I smiled. I thought that she loves me and she is hesitating to say the love to me and she will tell her love one day to me. I started to love her. Just we look both and smile only. There is a restriction in the office that nobody should speak at office hours personally. I suffered to speak about my love to her.

In this situation,
In my office, my co-workers were found she and me looking both that we are in love. And somebody were talking indirectly that I have no power to do the sex with her. I hated that words. I dont like sex when I am in love with her. Some one talked me indirectly that she wants sex with you. My heart beated that she is a good girl. she is not a bad girl. she does not like sex. somebody inducing you. I did not believe it.

One day, one lady who is a co-worker of my lover and friend. She talked me that don't you have feelings. only love. I shocked. Then I believed that my lover wants sex. I cried that I did not expect that kind of feelings from my lover.

I asked one day to my lover that are you loving me. She denied and she said I am not loving you. I love another guy. Then I asked her that why looking at me. I just looked at you casually. Then I accepted.

After 2 days also, In the office, as usual , she started looking at me whenever I cross her. I got anger that she is not loving me and she loves another person then why should she looking at me. I tensed. I thought that she denied to love me that I am not ready to have sex with her as the co-workers bad speech.

And then, Everyday whenever I see her, My feelings of sex were induced. I struggled to have sex with her. She just looking at me and not saying anything about sex. If I ask anything, Her words are very gentle and neat not related to sex. But her expression completely towards sex. I confused. I struggled in sex mood. I tried to avoid the sex feeling. As I love her, I could not avoid that sex feeling that she wants sex and she is hesitating to say about sex to you. This situation continues for 1 month. Within 1 month 2 times I asked her, r u loving me, I love you,she denied , she said I am loving another person.

I got angry I controlled myself. I did not blame her as I love her truly. Then I tried to stop loving her because whenever I think about her I felt the sex feeling . I disliked that sex feeling. I wanted true love.

Again She started looking at me whenever I cross her working place. I got too angry. I am unable to control my sex feelings. I message over the phone that 'I want sex with u' . That time I am out of control. She replied that blaming words.
Then I replied , I truly loved you, office co-workers indirectly speaks me you want sex. I did not believe. you just look at me romantically and sexually. But you deny to love me. I thought you deny the love that I wont have any sex feelings.

After that she denied in the sms. Dont talk to me over the phone. As I was confused and angered , I did that mistake of bad message 'I want sex with u'. I felt shame and I asked her 'Extremely sorry'. She did not forgive me. I cried and shouted my love is failured. I am a monogomy type that living with one girl. I dont have any sex so far with any girl. I preplanned that I will do arrange or love marraige that only with one girl.I chose one girl to love and marry sincerely. But she misunderstand me. My loving heart were broken.

She told this message matter to manager. Manager blamed me and warned me.
And after 1 month, she again started to look at me. I shocked. I thought that You blamed then why she starts looking at me again. I thought that she forgiven me. she loves me. As I love her truly, even her small smile says I love you.
Now also she looking at me.

Now, whenever I see her I feel sex and love both. But I dislike the sex feelings and I wanted only the true love. that is enough for me.

Then why she behaving like this. I am a good man at the office, sincere worker. Then why she behaves at me like this.
Is my love true. Is it reasonable to love her. Please advise me My dear friends.


Yours Friendly,

J. Mohan

[shammi]

Shivalingam Ranatunga go back to Tamil Nadu