My girlfriend on holiday making friends with random men?

[FT9]

Basically my girlfriend went to Spain for a week with her friend. Obviously trust is hard won and easily lost. She is a loyal girlfriend and does love me but I have a few doubts.

First doubt is I'm not entirely sure how she goes about choosing her men. She says she's loyal which she seems to be, but when I first met her she approached me in a club with her friend and that night I went back to hers. She would have had a one night stand with me that night but I didn't give in due to the fact she was very drunk and I wasn't going to take advantage. Anyway that's how we met and now I've been with her for 3-4 months.

She once told me that she had a dream where she cheated on me with her ex. Now dreams do tend to have meanings, if anyone can read dreams then tell me this one!

Another point. Whether she is just testing my limits out of curiosity I do not know. However once she asked me what I would do if she cheated on me. I told her I'd dump her. She said what if I was drunk though, I added further.. I'd still dump you, being drunk is no excuse to bad choices.

Right now she's in Spain, last night was her last night. She phoned me and was very drunk. She said herself and her mate were in a lock-in at a bar drinking all night. I heard men around and she said she was with two Moroccan men and they were buying her and her friend shots but nothing was happening.

She said she was going to call me later when she gets back to the apartment and she did, about 4am. While on the phone to me she told me that the Moroccan men were in the apartments with them but she wanted them out.

She was so drunk! She came out from the blue "I haven't had sex once since I've been away" well I'd bloody hope not and why are you coming out with this? Is this some kind of reverse psychology?

How do I know throughout her holiday in Spain she hasn't cheated on me? Why is herself and her mate who also has a boyfriend going off with random men? Why were they allowed in their apartment?

I don't know what to do? I've lost a lot of trust in her, I really have.

[Albinoni]

I hate to say this sorry but in a relationship you have to have trust and that means trust in her and allow her to have her freedom. No i dont mean freedom to go and screw around, def not, but freedom to have friends etc etc. I'm sure you would like to have freedom that would allow you to go and talk to other girls etc.

So dont assume or make false judements that she's having sex behind your back, unless you can prove it 100%

Also she could be testing your limits on how possesive you are, eg always want to be around her, clingy etc etc, and again was she really drunk or just a put on, hey women are good at putting on acts !!!.

All I can say is dont fret and loose sleep over it, give her her freedom and allow her to have her friends, whether its male or famale.

[doppelgaenger]

You guys sound pretty young. I know this is going to disappoint you, but you shouldn't be taking relationships so seriously at your age. You're going to ask me why, so I'll explain... girls and younger women are rarely capable of holding any kind of respectable commitment. They're young, they're good looking, and they like the attention they get from guys. So always expect the worst when it comes to relationships, and don't give your hopes up for one girl.

I'm not really sure what you're looking for by posting here. Some closure? Condolences? Reassurance that she's not cheating on you? Maybe you want us to tell you what she did? I don't really know what to tell you. Common sense would say she had a nice little bachelorette vacation with her friend in Spain. BTW, Latino guys, they hit on every woman. So somehow she ends up at this bar with her friend (lock-in? bullshit. they wouldn't have left until wee hours of the morning) and Moroccan guys who are probably on vacation too. The Moroccan guys are buying them drinks to make it easier for them to get into their pants. One thing led to another, and these guys end up in your gf's apartment. It's pretty obvious what happened, because your gf didn't kick them out.

Your gf probably won't tell you what happened. You probably don't want to hear the details. Save your honor and never speak to her again.

[veryworried]

Apologies for dredging up this old thread, but after reading the OP by FT9 I'm wondering what happened after the late night phone call and whether you guys are still together...

I am also facing a similar dilemma, my steady girlfriend is going to Spain for the summer festivals.
She is going with a couple of her girlfriends (who I don't really trust because of their drug and alcohol use).
We aren't on the best ground at the moment, she doesn't live with me (we are both still young and can't really afford rent around here) and works opposite shifts to me. So we hardly see each other, but we are still committed to each other.
I don't want to go into too much detail but we haven't had sex in what would be well over six months.
We are both in our early twenties and have been going out for about three years.
I see my future with her, but I'm extremely worried about what it's like for overseas backpackers staying in hostels during the Spanish festivals.
Is it like 'Schoolies week'? I am worried that there will be a lot of temptation. She's done a lot of weed as well as shrooms, pills and powders in the past. I only drink occasionally and have never touched that stuff. I am worried that she will end up shacking up with some Spanish Lothario while I'm going to be non the wiser aching my heart out at home.

I don't want to be needlessly concerned, I'm just looking for anyone else who has been in a similar position.
What is Spain like for young female tourists? How easy to get sucked into the party culture there?

- Luke