NEED ADVICE regarding breakup plz!!!

[poppdoctor]

Hi,
This is kind of weird because I have never used these types of forums before and I do not know others do either.
But I have recently broke up with my ex-girlfriend and I can't get her off my mind.
If you guys could please give me advice, I need other people's opinions and advice or I think I am going to go crazy.

This past weekend, I couldnt get my mind off of her at all. I thought of her every second and here I am at work... still thinking about her..
I just saw several youtube videos of "how to get back with your ex" and have done many of the things that they said not to do. For instance, I have already been in the "panic stage"--- text messaging often, questioning her actions and even accused her of sleeping with another guy.
Let me try to explain this as short as possible.

Prior to breaking up, we've had lot of arguments because we are in a long distance relationship (about 400miles apart). It was hard to recover from those fights because we only saw each other once or twice a month. However, everytime we had an argument, I admit that I was overly aggressive--- saying things like "w/e let's just break up" "I don't even feel I like you anymore".
Eventually, we both came to an agreement recently that we should break up but to remain as friends. At first, I was totally content with this decision, but for the past week it has been really bothering me and I think I may have gone a bit overboard. Ever since the breakup, she has been going out alot more (to the bars, out with guy friends, etc) , which she has never done in her life. She is very physically attractive girl (she used to model) but she has a very shy personality. Because of her physical appearance, I know that it would not be difficult for her to get any guy she wants, and since she has been hanging out with different guy friends lately, I have been REALLY insecure. A few days ago, I called her and she was being very sketchy about hanging out with a guy. She said she would call me back in an hour, but I called her back immediately and accused her of sleeping with this random guy. Also, I'm not sure if she is lying to me or not, but alot of her statements don't seem to add up (giving me an instinctive feeling that she is lying or hiding things from me)
I know that I should not care about what she does,etc since we aren't together anymore, but I can't help it. I discovered that I truly love her and I regret the mistakes I made during our relationship. I miss her so much that I can't even concentrate lately at work.
I have NEVER EVER felt this way about any other girl in my life. Please help me and provide me with tips on how to cope with this situation and methods on getting her back.
I am wondering if it is too late? Did I permanently screw up my chances?
Please let me know. Any advice and opinions will definitely help.

For the time being I am going to pick up my old hobbies of art (painting and drawing), music (playing guitar and drums) and focusing on sports again.
I really want her back and want to know the best way to do it without going overboard or being annoying.
Once again, thank you guys so much. It would really help me if you contributed to my situation.
THANKS AGAIN!!!

[YouAreBeautiful]

This is a toughie Poppdoctor. Saying things like "let's just break up" should stop in the future until you mean it. It could be that your words hurt her deeply over time and she is trying to distance herself from you so that she does not feel need for someone who has given her emotional pain. What she needs to hear from you is change, support, be gentle. Don't accuse her of anything. Patience and kindness will go a long way. I know it's hard knowing she has been seeing other guys, but take out your frustration in another way after your phone call. Do a physical activity, relieve the tension. Treat her with extra special care =)

[poppdoctor]

This is a toughie Poppdoctor. Saying things like "let's just break up" should stop in the future until you mean it. It could be that your words hurt her deeply over time and she is trying to distance herself from you so that she does not feel need for someone who has given her emotional pain. What she needs to hear from you is change, support, be gentle. Don't accuse her of anything. Patience and kindness will go a long way. I know it's hard knowing she has been seeing other guys, but take out your frustration in another way after your phone call. Do a physical activity, relieve the tension. Treat her with extra special care =)

Thank you for this, it definitely reconfirmed my thoughts and was received in a digestible way.
When would you suggest contacting her again? How much time would be "enough" time?
I know what I did was wrong, and I will NEVER make that mistake with her again.
Further input would be greatly appreciated. THank you once again!

[inconf]

Hi poppdoctor, i totally agree with youarebeautiful, accusing her will onlyp push her away from you. You kinda made a rod for your own back, but not all is lost, trust me, i have been exactly where you are now! Here is just some advice that has helped me get my ex back:

Give Her Space: The first step to successfully winning her back from good is something you might not expect: giving her the space she needs. If she broke up with you, she probably did for good reason, and a reason that at the very least, she needs to figure out. This takes time. This said, you need to respect this, and give her her time; otherwise, you run the risk of scaring her off indefinitely. The last thing you should do is pressure her, as she might run screaming.
Try to Understand: Second, chances are she gave you a reason for the breakup, and you should spend some time considering exactly how she might feel. Maybe she thinks you two are incompatible or maybe she feels underappreciated by you. Whatever it is, try to fully understand where she is coming from, so you might be better equipped to fix it, if possible.
Reconnect, but Casually: One of the biggest mistakes new exes make is that they try to reconnect with their spouses, but with too much force-calling or trying to see them on the schedule that they did when they were together. Do not make this mistake. Instead, reconnect in a very non-confrontational manner, as friends.
Get a Life: While you are giving her her space, you should be motivating yourself to do more-either through a new exercise regimen, a new hobby, or a new job. This will give you confidence, as well as take your mind off how much you might miss her.

You mentioned you were getting back int oyour hobbies that is a great start!
Hope everything works out for you!
Mark

[Agape]

"I called her back immediately and accused her of sleeping with this random guy"

Why? Do you want her to hate you? . . . obviously you can't even get over her so you have to interfere with her - she is free to do what she wants. . .you two broke up, cut off communication!