Third Wheel On Our Big Date

[phys251]

I apologize. I was already in a bad mood when I read your post, and it made you the second person in less than an hour to trivialize and dismiss my serious long-term relationship.

Hey, it's cool. We're not the ones invested in this relationship; we're just armchair quarterbacks tossing out our opinions.

I posted that response shortly after talking to my best friend on the phone. He was going on and on about how he keeps asking this shy woman out and she keeps avoiding giving a straight answer. Then he said that our situations are pretty similar. I had to stop him right there and point out, no, our situations are completely different. You're talking about somebody you haven't even got out with once, and I'm talking about the woman I've been dating for seven years, and living with for half that time. That is a gigantic difference, and his inability to tell the difference was beyond annoying. It was absurd, but I had to guide him to the likely conclusion that Shy Woman is probably too shy to say no, even though that's what she is thinking.

Holy...seven years. Damn, I missed that part.

All I can say is, you gotta do what's best for you. Is this sort of behavior a habit, or was it a one-time incident?

[Charlie Boy II]

neither of you come off sounding too good in that story. I guess your mutual bad behaviour kind of cancels each other our.

[misombra]

I'd wish to spend 100 $ for make up in a YEAR. I will spend it, MAYBE, once I will earn enough ... But I would never ever asked my bf to buy me this. It's really unnecessary... Unless she's ****ing ugly

we call that fugly.

[VincenzoG91]

Is this sort of behavior a habit, or was it a one-time incident?

Fair question. It was a relapse on her part. The first 18 months of our relationship, I spent too much money on her, partly out of pity for her having surgery twice on both of her feet during the first year we were together. Then my career hit a rough spot, and then money was really tight. The next two years were harder, with her moving back in with her dysfunctional family while I pulled my finances back together. She became a lot more responsible about money after that, but once in a while, she will still have lapse and charm me into spending a wasteful amount of money.a Her time management skills have improved, but not a lot.

Regarding other recent questions... she is fairly attractive but has become insecure about her looks after hitting 30. But I wasn't drawn to her beauty or her youth when we first met. The online dating site said that we were 95% compatible based on personality test scores, and we had similar taste in music. But her profile picture was really unflattering, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to date a woman in her early 20s ever again. Our first phone call lasted three hours, and we hit off right away on the first date, and now we've been together for over seven years now.