Would this be a shock to a man?

[christine1234]

So I have been dating this guy for one month. We met online. He is a doc, in his 40's, super romantic at the very beginning. We did talk about the fact that we wanted a relationship. We slept with each other too early, and I think I was too accommodating to his schedule. We never got to the "exclusive" talk...but if you have sex, wouldn't you assume so...? I think it was exclusive.
BUT: The guy only texts me, he was often too busy at work to see me more than once every five days to a week for a few hours- sometimes over night- (sex always involved). He checks his online dating account a lot lately (I have been too), and he left me without any news for 5 days (yet, he had time to spent on the online site). I texted him a pic of a landscape where I was 4 days earlier and no response.
I just had it. I felt that he was starting to take me for a booty call. So I decided to send him a three-line message through the site online to tell him that: in order to avoid to turn our "thing" into a booty call, I was moving on. He could contact me if he had an interest in getting to know me. Otherwise, I no longer had interest in seeing him. He probably did not see that one coming.

Guys, do you think I have handled this properly? Is it possible that he could have possibly be interested in me with this kind of attitude? Sometimes guys are so hard to figure out, I just get confused. I really like/d him, but I just don't want to be taken for granted. I am ok to slowly get to know him, but I feel that I need him to respect me. Are my expectations too high at this point? Would a guy who cares actually do something about the situation after this mail or would this message turn off a guy if he was potentially interested?

[sadie_genie]

I am not a guy but even a woman would do this if she isn't that into a man. I know because I have done something similar.

[blent]

You did good just set it straight and don't let him take advantage of you. He's not an idiot, he knows what he can get away with and what he can't. It really does sound like a booty call, but if you wanna keep the doctor then i'd suggest being more open about your feelings with him.

[christine1234]

Thanks Blent... I am a little confused about your advice. yes, I'd like to see if this can go somewhere with him. How do you suggest I be more open with my feelings? Didn't I go to far at this point to get back in touch with him and give him an explanation?... besides, shouldn't he be the one to contact me if he has interest in getting to know me?

[christine1234]

You did good just set it straight and don't let him take advantage of you. He's not an idiot, he knows what he can get away with and what he can't. It really does sound like a booty call, but if you wanna keep the doctor then i'd suggest being more open about your feelings with him.

Thanks Blent... I am a little confused about your advice. yes, I'd like to see if this can go somewhere with him. How do you suggest I be more open with my feelings? Didn't I go to far at this point to get back in touch with him and give him an explanation?... besides, shouldn't he be the one to contact me if he has interest in getting to know me?

[Gratedwasabi]

I think you acted appropriately. It sounds like he was using you for sex until he found someone he wanted to date on the site. Don't look back.

[IncognitoSir]

Well, what kinda dating site is it? How early did you give it up....I mean, 1st night sex is a booty call from then forward for me lol. If I were him, I'd wonder why didn't she just ask for clarification. Honestly, sounds like you two aren't on the same page.

[Paperclip]

Shock him into respecting you so much he turns his booty-call attitude around and wants to pursue a serious relationship with you? No, sorry, probably not but good work standing up for yourself, I hope you really mean it when you express a desire to move on and weren't trying to 'keep him keen by playing it mean' because that is going to end in disappointment.

[xxazurexx]

super romantic at the very beginning. ...

yeah, they usually always are - usually guarantees a 'player' early sex and if a woman is gullible enough to fall for 'early' declarations of love, from a man she barely knows.

If you had wanted this guy to take you 'seriously', you shouldn't have offered up your body so soon.

What would I do in this situation? I wouldn't initiate any form of contact - if he wants me, he knows how to find me. RESPECT yourself.

but if you wanna keep the doctor then i'd suggest being more open about your feelings with him. ...

Possibly the worst advice ever....^^^^

You don't chase something that has backed off and distanced and the last thing you do is go declaring feelings to a guy who shows little interest. But go ahead if you please, tell him how you feel and that you want 'exclusive'.

Be prepared to lose him in this ^^ scenario. If he views you as a booty call, you are gonna lose him anyway eventually.

Your little note to him, could also backfire in your face. He will see straight through this note, it's a demand on his time and a push to be exclusive....therefore could push him further away. It may come as a relief him and give him the reason he is looking for to end it with you - that is if he doesn't have much interest, which it sounds he doesn't. Interested men don't leave you hanging for days.

You should have just sat back and if he wants you, he will be back. If and when he returned, you are then in a posistion to turn the tables and command what you would like from him.

[Take2]

I don't get the idea of "I think we were exclusive because we had sex." I mean, huh?

I have no problem with having sex with someone whenever the heck we both feel ready, but I think sleeping with a guy you don't feel you know well enough to talk about whether you are both planning to sleep with only each other or not is probably a really bad idea. Yes, I think cutting this thing off was probably the best option at this point. Next time, try being a little more open and honest from the start and make sure your heart and head and body are all on the same page?

[Mish]

So I have been dating this guy for one month. We met online. He is a doc, in his 40's, super romantic at the very beginning. We did talk about the fact that we wanted a relationship. We slept with each other too early, and I think I was too accommodating to his schedule. We never got to the "exclusive" talk...but if you have sex, wouldn't you assume so...? I think it was exclusive.

Don't assume anything, it's not exclusive until the exclusivity talk. Anyway, it sounds like the guy is not really into you, if he doesn't reply to your message then let him go and move on.

[christine1234]

Thanks everyone!

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

You said your peace and he prolly got the point. So, let it be and find another.

[sweetkissesforu]

Lets get it straight sex is sometimes only sex does not mean a commitment with this attitude you are setting your self up to be used by more then one man hold off on the sex anything that is good is worth the wait

[Regnent]

I think you did the right thing. Booty call or not, he either didn't have the time or want, to spend more time with you.
Even if he thinks the world of you, I doubt he has the kind of time that works for you.