Puzzled

[ThinkDreamDo]

Earlier this year I spent a few months working closely with a man whom I came to admire and like very much. I'll call him "T." T always spoke highly of me, said he was "a fan" of me and said my work was "beautiful."
Anyway, after we were done working together I ran into T one day by chance and it dawned on me that I had a thing for him. I was in a committed relationship that had been not going well for years, and spent the next couple of months sorting things out. Eventually I split up with my ex, amicably. We remain friends.
When I told T about the breakup, he responded with passionate concern, and began to touch me on the shoulder, knee, etc. when we talked -- he had never done that before. He said he loved talking with me. That I was on his mind and in his heart. Soon after that he invited to a party he was giving. At the party we danced & flirted, he raved about the food I brought & he introduced me to others as the best thing that had happened to him at work -- he even hinted that he'd like to fool around -- but he also said that I "intimdated" him. Well, it got late & I got tired so he walked me to my car and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "Let's stay in touch." I was disappointed that he didn't try a real kiss or even ask me out... So I asked him to go out biking with me, and he said yes, he'd like to do that when work calmed down for him in a couple of weeks.
I e-mailed T thanking him for inviting me & saying I had a great time. He e-mailed back saying he was glad I came (with four exclamation points).
Since then we've talked on the phone about a concern I had for a family member -- he was so warm and supportive. Anyway, this week was the week when he said he'd be free to get together but here it is Thursday & I haven't heard from him yet. I'm confused and feel like I might be missing something here... why do you think he hasn't stepped over the line yet for a date or a kiss or anything? I want the chance to spend more time with him but I don't want to push him if he needs space/time... but what if he maybe needs more encouragement? Or could something have changed his mind?

[smackie9]

There's a possibility he's not looking for a serious relationship and doesn't want to disappoint you or lead you on. You never know he could be in the middle of a long distance relationship and is trying to make a decision. Give it one more shot and if things don't happen then just move on.

[ThinkDreamDo]

I know he was in a LDR but the girl cheated on him. He has often talked about how hard it is to make a life here & I think sometines he thinks about moving away...

[Boisdevie]

Look, we're living in the age of equality. If you want to find out how he feels just ask him out - it's not rocket surgery.

[ThinkDreamDo]

I thought I did ask him out by asking him to bike w/me. If he doesn't follow up, isn't that a kind of no already? Or do I need to be totally blatantly obvious?

[ThinkDreamDo]

Well, I did do the totally blatantly obvious thing & texted him seeing if he wanted to go out for a cocktail. No reply at all.

[lennox]

hey

be unattached to the outcome and carry on with your business.

stay active involved and busy with your life.

men are born to chase. you just have to build the attractor factor.

don't chase men. most of them are turned off by it.

i am turned off by women chasing. it predetermines neediness, which most men despise in the long run.

hope that helps

lennox

[ThinkDreamDo]

He responded, said he was under the weather but that getting together would be fun "soon." Yeah, right.
Whatever.
I've had my big cry over this one.
I guess I was a couple steps ahead of where he was in terms of what I was willing to admit I wanted.
Thanks for your replies everyone.